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Struggling to find balance
Hi, dad lives with me and has moderate stage Alzheimer's. Despite lots of other health concerns, his progression has been very slow- I've been giving him care (first IADLs like paying bills, now progressing to physical, Hands-On hygiene and such) for a little more than a decade. In addition to this stressor, last summer I…
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Is this Alzheimer's or Personality?
My mom is extemely mean to me at times. She has Alzheimer's and I have been taking care of her for 8 years. When I suggest something like for example, "You can put on your pajamas since its night time" She'll respond, "Yeah I'm not stupid, I know what I'm doing" I try to give her as much autonomy as I can, but she is in…
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Compassion Fatigue
Compassion fatigue TED Talk [https://youtu.be/ZsaorjIo1Yc?si=L07hszirRcCX-mXP]
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Sundowning and Frontal Temporal Dementia.
Nan is 93 and has had Dementia for about 14 years now. Has slowly gotten worse rather than sharp declines. We are now starting to get sundowning creeping in. Its a run of 7 days of it so far, I'm literally so exhausted i have no idea how i am functioning. She gets up about 1am thinking its 8am, and insists she needs to be…
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Regaining Sense of Self
Hi, all I found the video below just yesterday; and in my case it was quite timely. The video is a little over 10 minutes, but I think it is worthwhile for those of you who feel like you’ve lost who you used to be through all this physical, emotional and mental stress of caregiving. And if you feel like sharing with others…
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CARE AT HOME UNSUSTAINABLE
My DW’s psychiatrist and non-residential memory care activities director have recommended residency, telling me that my caring for her at home is “unsustainable” and that I’m harming myself by trying to be her sole caregiver. What form could/will that “harm” take? What could happen to me? I’m stressed, sure, but feel that…
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Coping When Loved One Remembers Things Wrong
Hi everyone, I wanted to share something that’s weighing on me after my recent visit with my husband. I spent a few hours with him yesterday at the nursing home, and while things went smoothly during lunch, he became anxious and started exit-seeking after. The toughest part is how his memories of these visits sometimes get…
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Downsizing While Caring for a Spouse with Alzheimer’s — Has Anyone Done This?
Hi everyone, My dad (65) has Alzheimer’s and is slowly declining. At this point, he can’t prepare meals beyond grabbing something simple, and he needs help or reminders with personal care like shaving and showering. His speech and understanding are very limited, and while he’s still in good spirits, his independence has…
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Need resources & ideas
Hi, My dad was diagnosed with Dementia in October of 2025 but it has progressed rapidly and he is living in an unsafe situation at home. He falls frequently at night, has hallucinations and can be very agitated and aggressive. My mom is is caretaker and is with him 24/7. I’m extremely worried about her health and well…
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Need emotional support
Hi everyone, I'm caring for my aunt who raised me when I was a child. She has early-stage Alzheimer’s and is currently living alone. Her son has been out of contact with the family for about 10 years, and we haven’t been able to find him. She misses him deeply and talks about him every day. My aunt has memory loss. Because…
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Will I ever be happy again?
I am feeling so hopeless. Ever since my dad died in December I’ve been so worried about my mother who lives alone 2.5 hours away from me, I can barely function. We now have her set to move into AL near me in 2 weeks, and my anxiety is worse than ever; partially because I’m worried about what to do when she begs to go home,…
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Please help me keep my sanity
I wrote some of this in a reply to a comment, but thought I need some more support. I’ve been with my mom for the past week and she has done nothing but yell at me for the last 3 days. For context, I came to her house last week to take her to a doctor appointment, where she finally was given a memory test and did better on…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 2/28/26
Psalm 5:3 WAITING EXPECTANTLY New Living Translation Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly. HOLY SPIRIT, please continue to help me think Your thoughts so I remain strong on the inside, so I am able to serve and glorify Jesus as a loving caregiver. In His name…
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How to move forward?
Hi there. My mom was formally diagnosed 2 years ago, though we as a family have noticed she has been progressing more quickly than before for the past few months. Unfortunately, her dad, who also has Alzheimer's and lives in a memory home, needed to be set up with hospice care last week. This has caused an even further…
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Dealing with uncontrollable anger
My mother is 82 and was previously diagnosed with early onset dementia. I didn't think the condition had progressed much, as I was not noticing any severe symptoms, but in the past year she has had more and more outbursts of uncontrollable anger. I didn't know this was a symptom of dementia until I looked it up after a…
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I wrote this essay to help others after losing my father to a long battle with Alzheimer's.
After losing my father to a long battle with Alzheimer's, I wrote this essay to help people navigate through the devastating journey of having a loved one with Alzheimer's, because it is the family and those closest to the individual with the disease who bear the greatest burden. Most people find themselves thrust into…
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Facing a Diagnosis this Week
I am meeting with our neurologist this Thursday along with my husband. I have already heard from this doctor that my husband's recent scan is positive and is consistent with Alzheimers. It indicates frequent amyloid neuritic plaques. I am alternating between depression, fright and a will to rise up and be strong. Can any…
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What do you do for self-care?
My DH received his alz diagnosis 5 mo ago. He is no longer driving but manages most of his ADL’s & putters around our small farm. Most of my caregiving at this point is around appointments, finances, cooking, groceries, mostly typical household things. I can be away from home altho I try to spend as much time here as…
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Dementia
My father that is almost 70 has recently been diagnosed with mild dementia which was shocking for me because a year ago he was diagnosed with psychosis so I assumed his case has developed to schizophrenia but turns out I was wrong. He refuses treatment and therapy in every way. I try my hardest to support him with my…
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My plan of action failed
In conjunction with a wonderful Care Consultant, #1 on my action plan is safety concerns. If my husband continued hitting himself or struck me, I was to call 911 and ask for him to be taken to the hospital for a psych eval. After a comprehensive evaluation, including an MRI to possibly identify the type of dementia, I…
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Oregon Caregiver Conference
This discussion was created to help Oregon and Southwest Washington caregivers stay connected.
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Husband has dementia plus OCD
I hardly know where to start! My husband has a physical disability and has had symptoms of OCD (never officially diagnosed) for many years. The first signs of dementia started about ten years ago. I don't think it is Alzheimer's but three different providers have called it dementia (frontal-temporal or even Lewy body are…
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Help! Overwhelmed and Dad won't address things
My mom (79) has dementia. I don't think she'll ever have any diagnosis. She won't even take her temperature. My dad (78) still has POA but won't do what's necessary for taking care of himself let alone her (i.e. meds, driving, home safety, home help, future planning, etc.) He/they don't know what state to live in when they…
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Hello- I am happy to have found this forum and I am in desperate need of advice
For over 2 years now I have been on what seems like a wild goose chase looking for proper professional guidance for my mother's increasing concerning behavior. She is 78 years old and I have been living in the house with her and dad for several years due to her having a previous illness that had her in the ICU and…
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home care vs assisted living
My mom has Alzheimers and my dad has dementia. I'm trying to decide whether to place them in an assisted living facility or hire 24/7 home health care in their home. They live in NY and I'm in MA. Does anyone have experience with either? I'm trying to think of a list of pros and cons. Thanks.
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My Mother's Siblings
I have a question, what should I do about my mother's siblings who are coming from out of state and want to spend all day at our house? I think that it's too long and offered a 3-4 hour visit yet they complain. Any thoughts?
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Leaning how to adapt.
Hi, My wife has been diagnosed with dementia for over five years. I been taking care of her the whole time. Now things seem to get worse and I’m not sure when I should contact professional help. She was enrolled in the memory center for seven years. Just reaching out for the first time to learn what’s next for me to do.…
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Caregiving for the Caregiver
My MIL has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It has been slow in its progression (15 years since initial diagnosis). My DH’s step-father is the primary caregiver and has done a fantastic job. However, my MIL is now firmly in Stage 4. We want to support DH’s step-father as best we can…but we don’t want to be pushy or make…