My plan for a future without my DW

Ronk246

Hello everyone,

I have been following the "Caring for a spouse or partner for a few months, and shared an idea there I had recently. Haven't been on this discussion site before, but I thought it wise to repost that idea here.

Ronk246 Member Posts: 12

 Member

August 1

Hi Y'all,

I cannot describe how much this site has helped me. My DW was diagnosed with Amnestic MCI in June 2022. This site convinced me to convince her she should stop driving. This site has given me so many suggestions about how to go about what I'm dealing with now as well as how to plan for what I'll be dealing with in the future.

I want to share something I thought of recently, it may benefit some others. We have been married for 55 wonderful years, many laughs, many friends, memories of trips all over the world. I thought it would be fun for us to watch some of our experiences on our big screen TV connected to my computer, where all our photos are stored.

Watching her laugh at so many things made me want to keep these memories for a gray future without her being able to share them with me. So I've begun videoing her, (without her knowledge. It's easy to do with my cell phone while we're looking at the photos).

Visualizing that gray future, I realized I have never lived alone. Before marriage, after leaving home, I lived with another guy in an apartment, then in the US Army, in a barracks. We did not have children, so no support or comfort there. The idea of living alone, being without her is unfathomable to me.

So down the road, after she has left me in mind if not yet in body, I will have these memories of us, together, watching our lives and laughing with each other. I've also begun to video her while we watch a movie at home and while we're out to dinner with friends, (the friends know, she does not).

I hope it will be a long time before I need to make use of these videos, but it is a comfort to know I have them. And if someone else needs and does the same, that is a plus.

God Bless us all!

Update as of 8/12 2023

I've found the best results are when dining out with friends, I set the phone/camera at the inside edge of the table, (in a booth), leaning against the wall pointing at us. It gives me the view of she and I and I can capture her comments and responses to me and our friends. Movies don't work as well, too much time with no interaction. I will do more with our old pictures again soon.

And as I said in my original post, I hope it will be a long time before I need to make use of these videos, but it is a comfort to know I have them. And if someone else needs and does the same, that is a plus.

God Bless us all!

mommyandme (m&m)

I took wonderful videos of mom during our journey. I’m so thankful I have them even though they are difficult to look at so far. Grief is just no fun no matter how we manage it. Thanks for the suggestion.

SDianeL

thanks for the idea. My DH and I traveled in an RV full time over 10 years. I don't have many videos but your idea reminded me I have lots of pictures on my laptop and thumb drives so I think I'll get a digital photo frame and put them by his chair so we can watch them together. I'll also video us looking at the pictures. Although I have lived alone after 2 divorces, I can't imagine life with my DH.