Shoes for neuropathy - what a day

Quilting brings calm

Mom is constantly complaining about her neuropathy. Her neurologist for neuropathy ( different one than her neurology NP for her dementia() doesn’t want to increase her gabapentin due to the risk of falls. She’s on 600 in the morning, 300 at lunch, and 600 at night. She is 85 and can’t take more than a couple steps without her walker. I walk slow due to bad knees and walking next to her and her walker feels like we aren’t moving at all.

Her PT at the AL was just sure a specific pair of shoes would help because the internet said so. So, without discussing it with me, the PT called an expensive shoe store in town and asked if they had those shoes. The manager said no, but he had shoes that were good for neuropathy. So the PT and mom decided ( again without input from me) that she needed new shoes from this store. Last night she called me and was adamant I needed to take her today. Having my step-dad take her is useless. Trying to dissuade her, also useless.

I loaded up mom and her walker this morning. We went to the expensive store. The manager said ‘ any of the shoes on the back wall would be good’. Sure, Jan. The first set of shelves - aetrex? insoles weren’t soft enough before she even tried them on. The second set- SAS - was the brand she had on and she didn’t like that pair, so she bypassed the entire shelf. Third set of shelves - Sketchers. She must have tried on every kind that was in her size. The size she demanded she be sold being a full size larger than the size gadget said she needed. She complained about every pair but one. She refused to buy those ( arch fit) because they didn’t come in white. Instead she bought a white pair ( memory foam) that she had tried on twice and rejected both times.

The upshot- the next time I talk to her she will tell me that the new pair hurts her feet and she won’t wear them. Which is the same thing she’s told me about every pair she’s bought ( or I’ve bought her) in the four years I’ve been dealing with her care. Which is why the PT should have talked to me first.

I was so frustrated and I couldn’t hold it in. This is the 8th time this month I’ve had to take one of my parents out of the AL - all others being doctor appointments. It takes at least 4 hours every time due to driving 35 minutes there, driving 25 minutes to their doctor, and then reversing it. That’s if they are going to a local doctor. And that’s not including any time to just hang out in their apartment. The AL will transport on certain days, but tends to drop them off and tell them to call when they are done. Doctor visits don’t go well like that. My spouse needs me too due to his disabilities and we are still grieving the loss of our son. I’m either numb or angry all the time. I just want to run away- and yes I know I cant

Thanks for listening

JeriLynn66

Sending big hugs… and I would certainly be speaking to the Therapist.. sorry you are dealing with this on top of everything.

Quilting brings calm

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/181551#Comment_181551

Thank you - I needed that hug. The AL is between directors ( again). I spoke to the office manager before I went to get Mom. This is not the first time staff has discussed stuff and suggested actions directly with/to my parents and caused upheaval by doing so. The revolving door of staff at ALs right now means some staff members don’t understand treatment limitations about each resident. Not everything about an elderly person can be fixed. And I’ve been at their medical appointments for four years so I know what can’t.

JeriLynn66

QBC

I forgot to mention I also have neuropathy and I wear Jambu shoes quite a bit. They have a very nice padding and bonus of Velcro straps.. don’t know if this is helpful … have a better day Friend ❤️

Kibbee

QBC you have my sympathy re having to take your parents out of AL. Transporting a person with physical limitations can be stressful, as there is always the worry about a possible fall and injury.

Quilting brings calm

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/181571#Comment_181571

Yes. I refuse to take her without her walker even though lifting that walker( with the padded seat full of items) into my suv is a little hard. I’ve had two compressed vertabrae fractures, so I cannot support her when she walks - what would happen if she fell is that we’d both fall and get injured. Step-dad refuses to use his walker when he leaves the AL and only recently brings a cane. He’s too stubborn to agree to bring the walker, so I walk at least six feet away from him to protect myself from a fall. He’s more steady with a cane than she is with her walker. I asked his doctor to watch his gait earlier this month. Doctor didn’t comment other than to say it was common at his age ( and is well aware of his stubbornness).

Marta

QBC: any chance you could hire a geriatric care manager and you step back a bit? Your parents are having you drawn and quartered. Find your oxygen mask.

Quilting brings calm

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/181618#Comment_181618

I have begun to wonder about this option. Not sure about the possibilities locally ( a county of 150,000 in central Illinois) or the cost. Trying to make their savings last as long as possible. Which looks like maybe three years. The AL is $6000 a month for them combined. Plus their other expenses. You would think that an AL with a nurse on staff, normal assistance, medication management, a dedicated OT and PT room, and residents that all appear to be about the same mobility and cognitive functions would be of some assistance.( LOL).

edited to add: I googled geriatric care managers for the largest city in our county. Only two showed up - both permanently closed. The other entries were for home health agencies and assisted living centers.