Shoes for neuropathy - what a day

Mom is constantly complaining about her neuropathy. Her neurologist for neuropathy ( different one than her neurology NP for her dementia() doesn’t want to increase her gabapentin due to the risk of falls. She’s on 600 in the morning, 300 at lunch, and 600 at night. She is 85 and can’t take more than a couple steps without her walker. I walk slow due to bad knees and walking next to her and her walker feels like we aren’t moving at all.

Her PT at the AL was just sure a specific pair of shoes would help because the internet said so. So, without discussing it with me, the PT called an expensive shoe store in town and asked if they had those shoes. The manager said no, but he had shoes that were good for neuropathy. So the PT and mom decided ( again without input from me) that she needed new shoes from this store. Last night she called me and was adamant I needed to take her today. Having my step-dad take her is useless. Trying to dissuade her, also useless.

I loaded up mom and her walker this morning. We went to the expensive store. The manager said ‘ any of the shoes on the back wall would be good’. Sure, Jan. The first set of shelves - aetrex? insoles weren’t soft enough before she even tried them on. The second set- SAS - was the brand she had on and she didn’t like that pair, so she bypassed the entire shelf. Third set of shelves - Sketchers. She must have tried on every kind that was in her size. The size she demanded she be sold being a full size larger than the size gadget said she needed. She complained about every pair but one. She refused to buy those ( arch fit) because they didn’t come in white. Instead she bought a white pair ( memory foam) that she had tried on twice and rejected both times.

The upshot- the next time I talk to her she will tell me that the new pair hurts her feet and she won’t wear them. Which is the same thing she’s told me about every pair she’s bought ( or I’ve bought her) in the four years I’ve been dealing with her care. Which is why the PT should have talked to me first.

I was so frustrated and I couldn’t hold it in. This is the 8th time this month I’ve had to take one of my parents out of the AL - all others being doctor appointments. It takes at least 4 hours every time due to driving 35 minutes there, driving 25 minutes to their doctor, and then reversing it. That’s if they are going to a local doctor. And that’s not including any time to just hang out in their apartment. The AL will transport on certain days, but tends to drop them off and tell them to call when they are done. Doctor visits don’t go well like that. My spouse needs me too due to his disabilities and we are still grieving the loss of our son. I’m either numb or angry all the time. I just want to run away- and yes I know I cant

Thanks for listening