ABETA 42/40 Ratio Blood test

kenrbnsn

About 5 years ago my wife was diagnosed with MCI. In the last year or so, I've noticed that she has been loosing her short term memory. For all intents and purposes it's gone now.

She's had other classic signs -- leaving the stove on after cooking and completely missing the turn in to our housing development when driving home.

She just had a blood test to determine the Abeta 42/40 ratio and the results show the ratio at 0.133 which means she has a higher than normal risk of developing AD or she already has it. She will be 69 in November (I'm 72). She hasn't seen her doctor yet to discuss the results.

I will probably need so therapy to deal with her symptoms. I already get frustrated when she doesn't remember something I just told her.

Jeanne C.

Welcome. I'm sorry you need the forum but you've found a good place with good people. Everyone is glad to offer advice based on their experience and a sympathetic ear.

If you haven't already, meet with an elder law attorney (CELA). They'll help you get documents like POA in order. They're also experts in your state's longterm care options. Another place you can go is your local center/association for aging.

And yes, you should absolutely seek the help you need. It's important to take care of yourself in addition to your wife.

Ed1937

Hi Ken. Welcome aboard, but sorry you need the forum, even though it is excellent. You will get a lot of support and understanding here.

If you haven't seen a CELA yet, that should be at the top of your list to get done. You only have so much time to do that for best results. If you wait too long, you will be sorry.

If you never got frustrated from time to time, you wouldn't be human.

Whenever you're concerned about something, just start a thread about it. You'll get all the help we can give you. Ask questions and read a lot of posts to get the most out of the forum.

Iris L.

Welcome Ken. As of today, your DW should no longer use the stove or cook unsupervised. As of today, she should not be driving. Read a lot of threads. There is a lot to learn.

Iris

kenrbnsn

Thanks for these comments.

It's very weird to be a caregiver again. This is my second marriage. My first wife & I were married for 26.5 years before she passed away from a rare form of a rare form of cancer, Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma, in 2005. She had it for almost our entire marriage. She wrote, what now would be call a blog about her experience. I turned it into a website: https://helenas-memorial.com/saga2/ -- I haven't updated it in a few years so there are probably some broken links.

SDianeL

Welcome Ken. So sorry for the reason you are here. This forum has helped me so much. As other have said, go to an attorney at get a DPOA right away. Within just 6 months my DH could no longer read & understand documents nor sign his name. I've used the DPOA several times since then. My DH is 78 and was diagnosed 2 years ago. He is in Stage 5, going into Late Stage 5. Get the book "The 36 Hour Day" which was recommended by a nurse. It helped me understand his behavior and gives tips on how to handle them. Keep coming here and reading the posts. You can also search for certain words. They gave my DH the 3 hour test and told me that he had visuospatial difficulties and should no longer drive.

kenrbnsn

Should I start keeping a record of her behaviors? Last night she couldn't find one of her many pairs of reading glasses -- her favorite. She finally found them in the clothes closet and had no idea why they were there.

I'm going away for the weekend and she's been constantly "reminding" me to pack my meds. As though she thinks my memory is going too. I'm pretty sure she will be able to handle me being away. I'll only be about a 2.5 hour drive away.

I'm trying to remember when her short term memory problems started. I don't think it's been a year. More like about 8 months.

She's been using Word on the computer for years, but now she's been forgetting how to do certain things with it and asks me (I'm her tech guy), but I don't use Word as much.

PookieBlue

Ken,

Keeping a journal has been quite helpful to me. I reread my entries which helps me to understand how this disease is progressing as well as how I am adjusting to any changes. Sometimes I have my daughters read parts of entries so they can get a feel for what my DH is experiencing as well as my challenges. I’ve kept a record all of this year. It is one of the ways I use as a coping method. I think you may find it beneficial, too.

Iris L.

This is a scary thread! She leaves the stove on after cooking and you are leaving her alone for a few days? This is a very bad idea. Don't be in denial. I have been where she is. I had to stop using the stove with my own short term memory loss. I was told so by caring members on these boards. They saved my life!

Iris

upstateAnn

Dear Ken. I know this is a tough thing to hear, but YOU CANNOT LEAVE YOUR DW ALONE FOR THAT LONG. Would she be able to handle and emergency like a gas leak? Do you trust her to know what to do in a fire? Do you have weapons in the house? If so, they should be locked away immediately and the key in your possession at all times. Would she let a stranger into the house? I know this is tough. I just took a three day trip, but my daughter stayed with her dad for all the time. I was in denial for a long time. Once you see what the reality is, you actually will cope better and put safeguards in place. Your DW has an incurable brain disease that affects ever art of her personality….

trottingalong

My DH is getting to where your DW is. I would encourage you NOT to leave her alone and go somewhere 2.5 hours away. My DH and I have established routines he does very well with. I left him to go out of town for 5.5 hours with a friend. He lost our dog (neighbor found her), called panicking and couldn’t figure out the remote on the tv. His short term memory has gotten worse, where I know I cannot go visit my children who live 7 hours away. A change in routine and having me gone makes him very stressed, which makes him far more confused. And he’s not where your DW is at. PLEASE head the advice given here.

in addition, you need to realize she can’t help the fact she can’t remember. It’s a disease. Once you realize it’s her reality it makes it easier to cope.

upstateAnn

Thank you for the update. However, even keeping the brain active has limits. My husband wrote books, one of which won a major national prize. He was a chaired professor at an Ivy League University where his lectures enraptured generations of students. It is a grim business to watch an amazing brain disintegrate. I also warn you about travel. It is apparent that my husband does not do well away from home anymore. Routine is critical for keeping him stabilized. At home, he reads, walks and sees friends. away, he gets really confused very quickly,

kenrbnsn

I will keep your comments in mind. She was OK when we drove (I did all the driving) to Ohio in July for a wedding (we live in New Jersey). I know a lot can change in a just few months. For the upcoming trips we're flying. We did buy fully refundable tickets, so if we have to cancel, we can get our money back.

My wife is a very private person and doesn't want to tell anyone about her condition except family and she doesn't want me to talk about it, but I have to. I can't keep it in. I've discussed the situation with close friends (some of whom I've known for close to 45 years) and some people at work like my manager. I work at a major university in NJ and, I'm sure I would be able to work from home if the situation changes (I already work from home 2 days/week).

upstateAnn

My heart breaks for you. Adjusting to this is so hard. Everyone is different , so your DW might proceed very differently than my husband. Also not talking about it is also so hard. Luckily, my husband had no problem letting people know. He said having a progressive, eventually fatal, brain disease, was not something to be ashamed of or to keep secret. This openess has made my life (and his) easier. When he misses a word or it is clear he does not remember something, our friends help out. I also urge you to find an ALZ support group. Mine has been enormously helpful. Everyone there knows what we are going through.

This also is important! Get POA now. Also, you might want to change yours if your wife has one.p for you. This disease can move fast. A year ago, we had a wonderful trip out to the Bay Area with no problem. Now my husband cannot remember if he ate breakfast. As for the repeating of questions it is inevitable and will get worse. She cannot help it. The answer to the question never coded on her brain. Be patient. Good luck.

kenrbnsn

I have to look at the documents we had drawn up when we got married 9 years ago. I know we had wills made and, I think, we made POAs -- one for me, one for her, and one for her daughter.

She also has a son. He's very bright and accomplished, but is not very caring or supportive. Her daughter is very supportive.

upstateAnn

i also have very supportive daughters. Share your concerns with hr. Burdens shared are burdens halved.

Iris L.

Look for a local Alzheimer's Disease support group or Memory Club that you can attend together. It will help you.

Iris

kenrbnsn

I've been sharing with her daughter. I've already suggested that we start making plans for when my DW's condition starts to get bad. She thinks we have some time since my DW acted fairly normally over the weekend when she visited. I told her that nobody knows how fast/slow this will progress & I'd rather be safe than sorry. She agreed.

I've also shared the diagnosis with many of my friends on the condition they don't tell my DW that I told them. All of them are very supportive and have told me that if I need to talk at any time I should call/text them.

upstateAnn

That is so good. Glad you are getting the support you need. Ironically, given your wife’s penchw for secrecy, her condition probably is obvious to anyone who encounters her. That was the case with my DH. I was still in denial when concerned friends started mentioning his “spaciness.”

kenrbnsn

I've been making notes of different behaviours. One that I've noticed over the last few months is that my DW has been forgetting names of common objects. I never thought much of it before since I occassionally do that too. But it's much more fequent now, so I'm guessing that it's another symtom of this disease.

Something else that I've noticed -- she's always been very good about planning parties. Now she's talking about canceling a small party in October for her book launch. The party would be in our house with less than 10 people in attendence.

upstateAnn

Not surprising. My DH said his lack of initiative was a surprise. Could you plan the party?

Iris L.

Is this book launch for a book she wrote? Will she be expected to answer questions regarding the book? If so, you might want to help her prepare some responses ahead of time. PWDs cannot plan the way they previously did.

Iris

kenrbnsn

It's for a book she edited, but the people coming are, mostly, family, not the general public so there shouldn't be many (any?) questions about the content.

I'm more concerned about a zoom session later this Fall which will be about the book. She's hoping that some of the contributers to the book will be joining her on the zoom session, so they can answer questions. Right now she knows she can't answer most of the questions herself.

Iris L.

Ken, I am a person with cognitive impairment and memory loss, but it is not Alzheimer's Disease. I identify with a lot of what you are writing about your wife. I don't do things like plan a big party. The difference is, I am aware of what I have trouble with, so I don't do it, and I figure put how to compensate. I look and act like a regular older adult, but I don't do anything complicated. Your wife may look normal to her daughter and to others. But she cannot do anything complicated. I suggest that you ANTICIPATE areas of complication, and figure out a way to avoid or lessen the complication. EVERYTHING is going to be HARD for her, from now on. Try to make your lives easier. This is what I do for myself, I aim to make my life easier.

Iris

kenrbnsn

I have a question -- my DW has always been OCD about cleaning but not to the point of being a freak about it. Now she's been very picky about wiping fingerprints off the kitchen appliances. I try to explain that kitchens get dirty when we use it & we use it often. Is this another symptom of AD?

upstateAnn

It might be. My husband has become quite particular about how he places items in the shopping cart. This got on my nerves, but thenI realized it is important to him and he enjoys it. If he is happy, I am happy. I would let her wipe away.

kenrbnsn

Another recent change -- my DW has been asking me what day it is and/or the date. We have a large hanging calendar in our kitchen. She has her cellphone with the day/date available.

And today (Monday) she told me she thought it was Tuesday the whole day.

I may have to get an electronic clock that displays the day/date.

I've been on the lookout for these small changes.

The other day she told me that she attempted on of the online tests for Alzheimer's but got frustrated at the list of words to memorize and didn't finish it. She's very aware that her memory isn't as good as it used to be.

I'm a little worried that her memory of me may disappear sooner than later since I didn't come into her life until 12 years ago.

harshedbuzz

@kenrbnsn

Some people have reported that visual reminders like white boards with date and events/day/date clocks are a useful visual support for their PWD early in the disease process but most folks I know find that by the time these are needed our LOs no longer remember to use the visual if they want the information. Your wife likely falls into the latter group as she could consult the phone she already has but doesn't have the executive function or memory to do so.

IME, introducing new things after a certain point-- even when "simpler"-- a flip phone for a smartphone or a 4- button remote for the TV designed for PWD seldom goes well. There comes a time when a PWD can't learn new things.

HB

SDianeL

Got my DH a digital clock and watch a year ago and he still uses them every day. He could no longer read an analog watch or clock. He is now having difficulty figuring out what AM/PM means and tries to watch a TV show that won't start until later and is having trouble using the TV remote. He no longer knows how to use the cell phone. Never has used a computer. Rearranging & OCD are common in dementia patients. My DH rearranges the pantry and puts everything around the edges of the shelves with nothing in the center. I don't see in your messages about your DW's diagnosis. Has she been diagnosed by a Neurologist? Last Christmas I took my DH with me and my daughter to visit relatives about 9 hours away. We went by car. It was hell. Trying to make sure he ate, stayed hydrated, and took his medication was stressful for me. He didn't interact with relatives and sat on the sofa complaining that he couldn't work their remote to watch TV. We no longer go out to eat because the menu overwhelms him. If I go anywhere I have to have a caregiver with him. He wouldn't know what to do if an emergency happens. Please keep us posted.

kenrbnsn

She hasn't seen a Neurologist yet. She will be getting a reference from the doctor who ordered the test.

I've been researching the stages of AD. Looking at her symtoms, I'm guessing she's either in late stage 3 or early stage 4.

I know after we got married, 9 years ago, we saw a CELA, made wills, and, I believe POAs. I have to go into our safe and review what's in the binders that were made for us. I'm pretty sure my DW's daughter also has a POA.

harshedbuzz

@kenrbnsn

Good idea to check on what's actually in the POAs. You'll want to change your agent to someone other than your DW as she will not be able to act for you going forward. You don't need to inform her of this.

You'll want to be certain your POA is the later one written and supersedes any that names her daughter especially if you own property jointly or comingled assets. You'll also want to make sure it's durable (valid even if the person is incapacitated) or springing (where you'd need doctors to sign off on her incapacity to activate it). If the documents are lacking in anyway, a PWD in stage 33/4 may still be considered competent to sign a new document.

HB