Bad night-Need to vent, share my solutions & discuss options.

SDianeL

My DH, 78, diagnosed 2 years ago, recent changed diagnosis not good: Rare ALZ-Posterior Cortical Atrophy. He's Stage 4 on the ALZ-PCA staging which is Stage 5 on the ALZ Dementia Staging. He's been angry & agitated & is on 1/2 tab Risperidone am & pm which is not helping. He's also been very depressed lately saying he doesn't like himself and he wants to be his "old" self. 😪 I sent a message to his Geri Psychiatrist to call me next week.

Last night I got up at 3am to take something for pain. My DH got up to go to the bathroom, came into the kitchen instead & went to the front door of our apartment & tried to open it! I said where are you going? don't open the door! He didn't respond. It was like he didn't even know I was there. Like he was sleep walking. Before I got to him & the door, he had opened it and was going outside to use the bathroom. I calmly said the bathroom is this way and he got so angry and started yelling at me insisting he was going out even trying to push me out of his way. I got between him & the door and pointed the way to the bathroom. He was totally lost & confused. Finally got him pointed in the right direction. After he used the toilet, instead of going back to bed he went & sat in his chair but didn't say anything. I said let's go back to bed now, he yelled at me again. So I just waited. After about 10 minutes, he said "I'm going back to bed" and stood up but had no idea where the bedroom was. We're in an 840 sq. ft 1 bedroom apartment. I took his hand & said I would take him there. He went with me & got back in bed & went right to sleep. Of course I was up all night crying. 😪

Today I ordered locks for our front door so he can't get out. I also ordered a monitor to wake me if he gets out of bed. I ordered a waterproof mattress cover since the next stage will more than likely bring incontinence. I knew this was coming but it's still devastating when it happens.

I am so afraid that his anger and yelling will cause neighbors to complain & the apartment complex will ask us to leave. I haven't told them he has ALZ yet. Maybe now I should. If I can't get the Geriatric Psychiatrist to give him something to help calm him, I may have no choice but to look into MC facilities sooner that later. Should I get on the waiting list for a MC facility?? Should I call Caregiver Support at the VA and see what they say? I am devastated and feel so helpless.

SusanB-dil

Oh SDianeL, so sorry you are having all that happen. If you can't get an answer from GeriPsych until next week, could you check with his PCP asap? MIL is on something for depression for close to year, and it is still helping. Also tell his doc about the agitation.

If he is getting too much for you, do not feel bad about getting help. Yes, look into MC care for him, but also for your peace-of-mind. You would still be his advocate.

Iris L.

Diane, I have a suggestion in addition to what the doctor may suggest. Your DH is losing his spatial sense as well as his vision. He can no longer do anything. Perhap an occupational therapist could help design accommodations for the visually impaired to help him navigate within the home better. It will be a challenge due to the dementia, but it may be worth a try.

Iris

SDianeL

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/183453#Comment_183453

Iris, thank you. I'll ask for a referral for an OT. Hadn't thought of that.

Iris L.

Diane, I think the article that you posted on another thread might be more thorough than an OT consultation. Thanks so much for posting! But an OT consultation might be personalized to your specific needs.

Iris

GothicGremlin

@SDianeL I'm so sorry this is happening.

I think getting an OT involved is a good call. I used one about 5 months ago for my sister. It was very useful for her, and for me as well. The OT set out certain tasks for Peggy, in game form, of course, and it was illuminating for me to see just how much stuff Peggy can't do. Helpful in that we have a much better idea for how to work around her deficits. It was good for Peggy because it was more attention with someone fun.

Getting on a waiting list for MC is also a good idea. I hate that Peggy's in memory care, but she's surrounded by great people who take good care of her. I'm very present in her care, not as much as if she were home, but I also get to sleep at night, which is huge.

LicketyGlitz

I think both of those actions you mentioned are good ideas. You may not need the information, but if you do, you'll thank your earlier self for already doing the legwork before it becomes a critical situation!

I slept a lot better once the house was on lockdown. Hang in there, it doesn't get easier, but I found easier ways to respond that helped both me and my mom get through it.