New to this group and to ALZ

mrsjlolo

I'm new to this group, and DH was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He is 61, and his father was diagnosed with dementia, as well. I can see, now, that he has actually been struggling with symptoms for about 2 years, but I had hoped that they were simply post-surgical cognitive issues. Today, he was told by the occupational therapist that he should not drive anymore. We are buying a house that is about 3 minutes or so from where I work (I'm a teacher), and his brothers are committed to helping me out as they are able to.

I'm still in shock mode, TBH, so I haven't really had time to breathe or grieve. I'd appreciate any encouragement as I pour over this website. Thank you in advance, and I am truly grateful this is here.

toolbeltexpert

Mrsjlolo welcome to the forum and as we say I am sorry for the reason you had to find us. You are in the right place. First I want to say you've still got lots of good times still. It maybe a struggle sometimes to believe that but learning to use what your dh has and not focus on what he can't do makes things a lot different. It's good the therapist did the right thing and let that fall on his shoulders if it comes up that takes some of the burden off you. No it won't make the loss any better but so many folks on here couldn't get the professional people to make that call. It's funny because when it involves seizures that's an automatic suspension of license.

Let me say read as much as you can handle, ask any question, we all learn together.

Stewart

Ed1937

Welcome. Sorry you need us, but this is really a great site for education, understanding, and just having people here who have been there, done that.

You are on the right road to making things just a little easier by reading what you can from other posts. You might read some posts that will really scare you, but don't worry about what you read. Much of what you read will never happen to you, so don't worry about any of that unless you have to. At that point, we'll help you with ideas and support.

Don't expect much help from doctors. Very few of them have been caregivers, and unless you have been one, you just can't "get it".

Anytime you have questions or concerns, start a new discussion. Depending on the time of day, you might get immediate replies, or it might take several hours. But they will be coming.

Since your DH is not yet 65 years of age, you need to apply for social security disability. With a diagnosis, this should be approved in a short time.

Another thing you will want to do is to see a CELA (certified elder law attorney). This needs to be done early in the disease. They can protect a lot of assets for you, explain how medicaid works in your state, and help you with POAs and anything else you might need.

Iris L.

PWDs very soon cannot handle stairs. I hope the new house has a bedroom and bath on the ground level.

Iris

mrsjlolo

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/185496#Comment_185496

Yes---single story.

mrsjlolo

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/185483#Comment_185483

Thank you for the advice!

mrsjlolo

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/185481#Comment_185481

Thank you!

SDianeL

Mrsjlolo welcome. So sorry you are here because of your DH's diagnosis. It's terrifying & heartbreaking. especially with him being so young. You're at the right place for info & support. My DH, 78, was diagnosed 2 years ago but had behaviors for years before that I didn't, or wouldn't realize were cognitive issues. I keep telling myself it was just aging. The Neuro Psychologist who did the testing said he should no longer drive. The next day he gave me his keys. A few months later a nurse evaluated him for respite care and she said he could no longer be left alone because he wouldn't know what to do in case of an emergency. Don't wait to meet with an attorney and get a DPOA. I'm glad I did. Within 6 months my DH could no longer understand documents or sign his name. I have used it several times. Read the book "The 36 Hour Day" which was recommended by a nurse and helped me so much understand the disease & behaviors & gives tips on how to handle them. Here's a handout that also helped me understand the disease, stages & behaviors. I use it to communicate with his doctors. I send them a list of his behaviors often so they know how he's progressing. They only see him for a few minutes and when he's there he doesn't exhibit them. Get a referral to a Geriatric Psychiatrist who is the best to handle behaviors and prescribe and manage any medications he may need. Tam Cummings has lots of info online with videos that will help. Here's the link to the document: https://tala.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Tam-Cummings-LLC-Handouts.pdf