Care Taker Under 30

rosecoloredglasses

Hello to all! I'm making my first post here to try and gain some insight from people who are in a similar position as I. My mom is not even 60 yet, but she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's (early stage thankfully) back in 2022, so this is all still fairly new as we both adjust to our new realities. It's been quite difficult to find other people like me who are now designated care takers, even though I feel like I've barely started my own life. I've been in charge or taking care of my mom since I was around 20, and by the age of 23 I was doing pretty much everything for her except bathing her and helping her eat. It's quite frustrating, even though I adore my mother and I really wouldn't want anyone else doing the job I'm doing, I feel lost and stressed and irritated that my life now revolves around her, and I'm not even 30 yet. I feel like I'm grieving for my mom and myself everyday. Can anyone else relate to his feeling??

Anyways, thank you to all who took the time to read this. I hope you all have wonderful weekends :)

Anonymousjpl123

First welcome to the forum! I am sorry for the reason you are here but super glad you found this place. Lots and lots of smart people who have been where you are. I’m 53 and overwhelmed so I can’t even imagine how you must feel! What im glad about is that you are starting to ask for help and answer these questions now, while she is still relatively early on this.

I will say that I hope you can find outlets for yourself. Are you her full time live in caretaker? Do you have other support? There are lots of things to line up but also lots of resources to help. You are absolutely not alone in feeling this way.

rosecoloredglasses

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/185711#Comment_185711

Thank you so much for your kind words! I am her full time care taker. I have some long distance support, in the sense of a text message or phone call here and there but not much help from people physically close to me. I'm very lucky to have my partner as the biggest form support for myself and my mom, but I feel so guilty having her be the only person besides me who's here handling all of this. I've just started looking in to support groups for myself, she's not quite ready to go to those for herself yet. Socialization has been one of her biggest hurdles, she's so embarrassed so she doesn't even want to try. Signing up for this forum is kind of the first step in showing her, along with myself, that we're not alone on this journey. Your message has shown me I'm heading in the right direction haha!

VKB

I can relate. I took care of my mother for 9 years. She could do nothing for herself. I discovered giving yourself some "me time" if it's only in the next room is a necessity. Also, if there are family, friends, or church members don't be afraid to ask for help. Most people really want to be of help but do not know how. Be specific such as, "can you sit with mom while I go to the market for an hour?" I admire your loyalty to your mother. I prayed for you both.