Items missing in facility

CKCMaggio

I'm positive others have been through this, but how do you work with a facility when just about everything you bring in for your LO goes missing? They tell me to have clothing dropped off with the staff to be labeled, but whenever I check her closet there are nothing but some shirts in there. I understand there's an incontinence issue, but she is wearing undergarments. I show up and she is wearing clothing that isn't hers. Am told things are being laundered, but after about 7 changes of clothing, still? When I was able to take her out, her jackets were missing. Bought her new sneakers, wrote her name on the edge of the soles in marker. Gone. They encouraged me to personalize her room, and I started with some little items...stuffed animals etc. Everything vanishes. I've started taking pictures of all I bring in, but I'm unsure if it's the staff or the patient who are/is doing this. I've been told that people wander in and out of other's rooms and grab things, but right now she's in an area the other residents don't have access to (which also pisses me off, because she's being secluded in a way).

How can you afford to just keep replacing things? How do you ensure their items stay with them? Is it a lost cause?

michiganpat

It's the same thing in my sisters facility. I am her DPOA and bring her clothes with labels but many disappear and I find several items in her closet that aren't hers. The worst are the eyeglasses and dentures. She is in the dementia wing with a central dining room where she spends many hours. I noticed her wearing glasses that weren't hers and asked. They said the residents set them down and others pick them up. This was last year and her glasses have never been found. Same with dentures. Hers have been gone for months and never found. One of the CNA's told me the residents pick each others stuff up which makes sense, but maybe not the whole picture. She is at the point that her glasses and dentures don't matter but it was distressing at the time. The only items that don't disappear are her socks! Good luck.

harshedbuzz

@CKCMaggio

I am sorry you are dealing with this.

I think anyone whose LO is in a MCF or SNF will have similar issues which can be exacerbated if there's a roommate vs private room. Staffing and how laundry is managed can also impact this. There are 2 ways things disappear-- either through laundry errors or shopping.

At dad's MCF, doors were required to have locks by the state. His locked automatically if closed. Dad couldn't deal with his key, so he often propped his door open when he left which was an opportunity for the resident shoppers to swipe his things (or crawl into his bed Goldilocks-style).

Clothing mix-ups were rarer at dad's facility. They used laundry as an activity for those who enjoyed it. Once a week, the aides (which did not rotate units) would do each residents laundry in a regular heavy duty machine in the unit with help from the resident as desired. Clothing never left the cluster of 10-12 rooms.

In other facilities, clothing is done together in industrial machines away from the living areas. Things can go missing when this happens, especially if not labeled. Everything should be labeled before crossing the threshold of the building. I used iron-ons for some stuff and a Sharpie for the rest. Shoes are best labeled on the insole where it is less likely to be scuffed off. Sharpie can be used on the inside arms of glasses, on dentures, and on hearing aids. We eventually had the nursing staff do dad's hearing aids with the morning and bedtime pill runs after one was lost.

There's usually an option to do laundry yourself. Mom opted out-- she felt she was paying enough that she shouldn't have to. My SIL took care of MIL's laundry which meant things didn't get lost or beat up in the big hot water industrial machines and left to wrinkle until the next day. Mom kept dad's nicer clothing home and brought it with her if she wanted to take him somewhere or when they had a monthly party for residents and family. She also kept his winter outerwear at home.

In terms of laundry "being done" or your LO wearing clothes that aren't her home, there could be an explanation. Sometimes dad's laundry ended up not getting done on the usual day-- maybe another resident needed things washed asap because of an accident or illness and took priority. Sometimes another resident's needs take precedent over routine housekeeping if there's someone ill or a new person adjusting to the transition. In terms of wearing other people's clothing, sometimes it's an honest mistake (less likely when each person's wash is done individually by the 2 people who do his daily dressing assist). Sometimes, if laundry is late getting done of if your LO has had a series of accidents (toileting or even spills) they'll run out and borrow something. In many cases, "something" comes from a stash of donated items from former residents.

If your sister likes stuffies and they disappear, I might look for replacements in thrift or childrens consignment stores. I wouldn't rule out that for some clothing either.

HB

Elshack

My DH has been in Memory Care for a bit over a year. 4 mo after being there his new $1800.00 hearing aid was missing and just last month the other one was gone. Now he has no hearing aids and I am not going to purchase new ones. For all I know he could have thrown them away. Also his upper dentures are gone. Other residents come into his room and he also wanders into other resident's rooms. Where he is they are not allowed to lock the bedroom doors of the residents. I have had to purchase extra socks with those soles that had the no skid things on them. His one windbreaker jacket was missing so I had to buy a new one. All in all it isn't too bad but missing items are to be expected.

CKCMaggio

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/186936#Comment_186936

Hi, thank you for your response. I pass in all clothing to the nursing staff to be labelled, after learning several lessons. It doesn't seem to make any difference.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/186934#Comment_186934

I agree, the worst things to go missing would be those. My friend was also missing her glasses for some time, luckily they reappeared after I pointed out to staff the picture of her by the door to her room. "See what her glasses look like?" Meanwhile, somebody else had hers or had none, and she was wearing somebody else's . This isn't a big facility, you'd think they'd get to know the residents. I'd be pretty pissed if I was you, missing dentures can make an impact on somebody's eating. I just don't know what to say. Not an easy thing to replace. Unfortunately, socks and shoes are missing all the time also, but more easily replaceable.

CKCMaggio

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/186936#Comment_186936

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/186936#Comment_186936

Sharpie can be used on dentures? (Yuk, would be my thought). I have started pre-labeling things after not trusting the staff to do it, and taking pictures of everything I bring in. My sister has also suggested buying clothing at thrift shops, it's too bad it comes to that, Thank you. Even jackets go missing, and whenever I visit, she is cold. Throw blanket missing too. I'm running out of sweaters and jackets from home. Thrift stores are starting to become an option, for sure. That stinks though, shouldn't be that way.

CKCMaggio

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/187011#Comment_187011

I can see how something like a hearing aid might go missing...so small. Hopefully his dentures turn up...I don't really get it, do people take out their dentures and toss them in the trash? Hopefully nobody else would pick those up but who knows. And I have also bought many pairs of the non-skid socks after slippers going missing. I'm sure they're not too comforting on the cold hard floors in the seasonal weather. Need to find some padded ones! I realize missing items are to be expected, but when you realize a whole bunch is gone at once, it's difficult. Pajamas, socks, shoes, bedding, pants.

GothicGremlin

Just chiming in...

This happens to my sister as well. No hearing aids or dentures, but clothing disappears and there has been many a time where she's wearing something that is not hers. Residents shop, and so does my sister. One time when she still had a phone, a resident picked it up thinking it was his TV remote. I could see it on an iPad using "find my iPhone, so I knew it was in the building, I just didn't know which room. TV repair man found it, and since it was labeled, my sister got it back.

The one thing that helps (a little) is that I label everything before I drop it off and I take photos of whatever I'm leaving for Peggy. I do this in front of staff, just so that we're all on the same page. It's not foolproof, but it does help.

harshedbuzz

For hearing aids, these are terrific if your mom has pierced ears.

DeafMetal USA - Hearing Aid Jewelry

SDianeL

For dentures, the VA engraves the person's name in them with an engraver tool. If eyeglasses are metal a jeweler can scribe their name on the sides. Maybe plastic ones too. Missing items in care facilities is all too common.

MN Chickadee

This happened at our facilities. Both were good places and this just seemed to be par for the course. Between staff being way too busy to worry about laundry sorting errors and residents going around shopping out of others' rooms it was constant. When someone passed away sometimes the family would have stuff to get rid of and my mom would end up with it. Many reasons. She also took stuff from other people's rooms. Even when the care is good there is still an element of accepting it is a different way of living and to roll with the punches unless it is negatively affecting your LO's care and safety. I went to a thrift store and stocked up on pants and outerwear for leaving the building which were the two things that went missing the most. Much of the room decor I lovingly put up disappeared with time. Don't send anything that can't be replaced. At one point I found a photo album in mom's room she had been paging through. It was full of lovely family photos of not my family; it was a family of Southeast Asian descent. Staff couldn't figure out whose it was; they had no residents who were SE Asian or family members who claimed it when put out in the common area with a note. Probably someone long gone. Weird stuff happens in memory care.

GothicGremlin

Weird stuff happens in memory care.

So true, @MN Chickadee

LaurieRZ

I was coming here to ask the same question. I wanted to mention a possible solution to the facility director, but I didn't know if she would be open to it or if it would even work. I've noticed clothes and decorative items in my mom's room that don't have a name on it. I wondered if they could create a special place (a closet?) where family members can put things they come across that do not belong to their LO. I still may not get my mom's coat back, which did have her name in it, but maybe it would improve the chances of getting some things back.

harshedbuzz

@LaurieRZ

A lost and found would be terrific, but this is really on those folks who can't follow directions and label the things they bring to the MCF. At dad's place, the aides would routinely redistribute things when they tidied up during meals.

I did dad's admission paperwork for 2 MCFs; at the last-minute mom's top choice didn't offer him placement based on his diagnosis and interview. They were both very clear that anything--ANYTHING-- coming into their facility should be permanently marked or labeled. Getting dad ready for MC gave me flashbacks to sending my son away to camp for the first time.

HB

BassetHoundAnn

I even labeled the pictures I hung on my mom's walls in memory care. I taped to their backs large 8"x10" signs with huge black marker letters on the back with her name and room number. And then...for each picture I nailed into the wall multiple picture heavy-duty hangers and I wired the pictures to the wall with thick steel cables and tightly-wound wire. No one's going to pull those suckers off the walls, I figured. I was wrong. The first day she was there another resident pulled her and my dad's wedding picture off the wall, wire cables, nails and all. It was found in another resident's room.

That's why they say to make copies of precious family photos before hanging them on the walls in memory care rooms.

I regularly found my mom's TV remote, which I also profusely labeled, in a pile of stolen and misplaced remotes and phones in the common room.

I tired of replacing her reading glasses which disappeared every week, often never to be found.

BassetHoundAnn

On the subject of lost-and-founds. My mom's memory care at one point devoted an entire conference room to misplaced and unlabeled items. The table was stacked with clothing and shoes. There were photo albums. Blankets. Pillows. Stuffies. You name it. It looked like a jumble sale. The facility kept encouraging family members through e-mails and signs on the wall to retrieve their loved one's belongings. After about 3 months with the conference room increasingly piled with things it was all finally donated to charity.

harshedbuzz

@BassetHoundAnn

I can't say that we ever had anything disappear for good except for one of dad's hearing aids. TBH, I suspect it may have fallen out during a nap and either got washed with sheets or rolled onto the floor and was swept up when his room was cleaned.

Dad's MCF had a large common area in the center with four "neighborhoods" radiating out. Dad's was the first suite off the common area so he had got more than his share of shoppers. There was one guy who constantly walked off with an 8 x 10 of my mom as a young woman and his slippers. He generally got them back during dinner while they check the empty rooms.

HB

Mimi50

This sounds like theft to me. When my Grandma went to AL. Sometimes things would be missing. So my mom and aunt complained. It stopped after that. Nothing that we bought her was ever stolen from her room. They need to do better job. Of making sure things don’t go (Missing).

Mimi50

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/186934#Comment_186934

This seems ridiculous too me. Granted my grandma died 4 years ago. But her glasses were never picked up by other residents. Her dentures didn’t get lost either. In the dining room and when they had entertainment. My grandma who didn’t have dementia. Was with residents who did have dementia. So it makes no sense to me at all. That those kinds of things are happening. I was really close to her. So I took her to doctors appointments. Would have lunch in the dining room with her. Then take her back to her room. So I would have known if her glasses or dentures were missing.

LaurieRZ

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/193313#Comment_193313

I'm disappointed to hear the lost and found didn't work. The memory care said they were open to the idea, but they don't know how to keep the residents from shopping it? Do you know if that happened with the conference room or were they able to keep them out?

sandwichone123

For hearing aids, family should request that the nurse collect them after dinner and put them in the med cart until before breakfast, if the resident is in a facility that provides med administration. If it is independent living, there is less the staff can do (and they may charge enough for the service that it would be cheaper to buy hearing aids twice a year). They can also check/clean dentures every evening (possibly also for a fee).

For clothing, if your loved one tolerated it, you could think of Laverne on Laverne and Shirley and have a large, noticeable identifier on the outside so it's clear if someone has their stuff. This can be modified for many things, but not really dentures or hearing aides. I think of gold edges on the soles of shoes if shoes are at risk of going missing, etc.

BassetHoundAnn

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/199598#Comment_199598

I'm fairly certain the residents were shopping in the room. Several times my mom talked about going to a "rummage sale down the hall" with another resident she hung out with at the time. Several times I found her wearing sweaters that were not hers, but were not labeled with another resident's name. Yeah...

BassetHoundAnn

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/199665#Comment_199665

That is an excellent idea, Sandwichone, about putting a large name label on the outside of a LO's clothes. Thank you! I'm going to do that ASP.

Recently all of mom's slacks disappeared from her closet. She had 10 pair, all labeled with her name, but on the inside.

I'm thinking part of the problem is with the memory care's laundry procedures. One day I spotted an aid putting mom's clothing in another resident's room.

But one evening I did spot a couple ladies wearing identical slacks that I think may have been my mom's. The pants were too tight and too short for them, falling mid-calf. My mom is 4'8".

I've spoken to aids and nursing staff on several occasions. And I've been told that there has been a problem lately with residents' clothing vanishing.

It's always something.

harshedbuzz

One strategy to manage the clothing piece is to bring the laundry home and do it yourself. My mom refused to do this given the high price she was paying for dad's care. His MCF typically did each resident's clothing individually as an activity for those interested in a laundry room near the kitchen and TV room rather than in a big commercial laundry.

My SIL always took MIL's clothes home when she was in the SNF. They didn't get as beat up and wrinkled and SIL could use the products that didn't bother her skin..

HB