Items missing in facility

@CKCMaggio

I am sorry you are dealing with this.

I think anyone whose LO is in a MCF or SNF will have similar issues which can be exacerbated if there's a roommate vs private room. Staffing and how laundry is managed can also impact this. There are 2 ways things disappear-- either through laundry errors or shopping.

At dad's MCF, doors were required to have locks by the state. His locked automatically if closed. Dad couldn't deal with his key, so he often propped his door open when he left which was an opportunity for the resident shoppers to swipe his things (or crawl into his bed Goldilocks-style).

Clothing mix-ups were rarer at dad's facility. They used laundry as an activity for those who enjoyed it. Once a week, the aides (which did not rotate units) would do each residents laundry in a regular heavy duty machine in the unit with help from the resident as desired. Clothing never left the cluster of 10-12 rooms.

In other facilities, clothing is done together in industrial machines away from the living areas. Things can go missing when this happens, especially if not labeled. Everything should be labeled before crossing the threshold of the building. I used iron-ons for some stuff and a Sharpie for the rest. Shoes are best labeled on the insole where it is less likely to be scuffed off. Sharpie can be used on the inside arms of glasses, on dentures, and on hearing aids. We eventually had the nursing staff do dad's hearing aids with the morning and bedtime pill runs after one was lost.

There's usually an option to do laundry yourself. Mom opted out-- she felt she was paying enough that she shouldn't have to. My SIL took care of MIL's laundry which meant things didn't get lost or beat up in the big hot water industrial machines and left to wrinkle until the next day. Mom kept dad's nicer clothing home and brought it with her if she wanted to take him somewhere or when they had a monthly party for residents and family. She also kept his winter outerwear at home.

In terms of laundry "being done" or your LO wearing clothes that aren't her home, there could be an explanation. Sometimes dad's laundry ended up not getting done on the usual day-- maybe another resident needed things washed asap because of an accident or illness and took priority. Sometimes another resident's needs take precedent over routine housekeeping if there's someone ill or a new person adjusting to the transition. In terms of wearing other people's clothing, sometimes it's an honest mistake (less likely when each person's wash is done individually by the 2 people who do his daily dressing assist). Sometimes, if laundry is late getting done of if your LO has had a series of accidents (toileting or even spills) they'll run out and borrow something. In many cases, "something" comes from a stash of donated items from former residents.

If your sister likes stuffies and they disappear, I might look for replacements in thrift or childrens consignment stores. I wouldn't rule out that for some clothing either.

HB

For hearing aids, these are terrific if your mom has pierced ears.

DeafMetal USA - Hearing Aid Jewelry

This happened at our facilities. Both were good places and this just seemed to be par for the course. Between staff being way too busy to worry about laundry sorting errors and residents going around shopping out of others' rooms it was constant. When someone passed away sometimes the family would have stuff to get rid of and my mom would end up with it. Many reasons. She also took stuff from other people's rooms. Even when the care is good there is still an element of accepting it is a different way of living and to roll with the punches unless it is negatively affecting your LO's care and safety. I went to a thrift store and stocked up on pants and outerwear for leaving the building which were the two things that went missing the most. Much of the room decor I lovingly put up disappeared with time. Don't send anything that can't be replaced. At one point I found a photo album in mom's room she had been paging through. It was full of lovely family photos of not my family; it was a family of Southeast Asian descent. Staff couldn't figure out whose it was; they had no residents who were SE Asian or family members who claimed it when put out in the common area with a note. Probably someone long gone. Weird stuff happens in memory care.

I was coming here to ask the same question. I wanted to mention a possible solution to the facility director, but I didn't know if she would be open to it or if it would even work. I've noticed clothes and decorative items in my mom's room that don't have a name on it. I wondered if they could create a special place (a closet?) where family members can put things they come across that do not belong to their LO. I still may not get my mom's coat back, which did have her name in it, but maybe it would improve the chances of getting some things back.

I even labeled the pictures I hung on my mom's walls in memory care. I taped to their backs large 8"x10" signs with huge black marker letters on the back with her name and room number. And then...for each picture I nailed into the wall multiple picture heavy-duty hangers and I wired the pictures to the wall with thick steel cables and tightly-wound wire. No one's going to pull those suckers off the walls, I figured. I was wrong. The first day she was there another resident pulled her and my dad's wedding picture off the wall, wire cables, nails and all. It was found in another resident's room.

That's why they say to make copies of precious family photos before hanging them on the walls in memory care rooms.

I regularly found my mom's TV remote, which I also profusely labeled, in a pile of stolen and misplaced remotes and phones in the common room.

I tired of replacing her reading glasses which disappeared every week, often never to be found.

@BassetHoundAnn

I can't say that we ever had anything disappear for good except for one of dad's hearing aids. TBH, I suspect it may have fallen out during a nap and either got washed with sheets or rolled onto the floor and was swept up when his room was cleaned.

Dad's MCF had a large common area in the center with four "neighborhoods" radiating out. Dad's was the first suite off the common area so he had got more than his share of shoppers. There was one guy who constantly walked off with an 8 x 10 of my mom as a young woman and his slippers. He generally got them back during dinner while they check the empty rooms.

HB

This seems ridiculous too me. Granted my grandma died 4 years ago. But her glasses were never picked up by other residents. Her dentures didn’t get lost either. In the dining room and when they had entertainment. My grandma who didn’t have dementia. Was with residents who did have dementia. So it makes no sense to me at all. That those kinds of things are happening. I was really close to her. So I took her to doctors appointments. Would have lunch in the dining room with her. Then take her back to her room. So I would have known if her glasses or dentures were missing.

For hearing aids, family should request that the nurse collect them after dinner and put them in the med cart until before breakfast, if the resident is in a facility that provides med administration. If it is independent living, there is less the staff can do (and they may charge enough for the service that it would be cheaper to buy hearing aids twice a year). They can also check/clean dentures every evening (possibly also for a fee).

For clothing, if your loved one tolerated it, you could think of Laverne on Laverne and Shirley and have a large, noticeable identifier on the outside so it's clear if someone has their stuff. This can be modified for many things, but not really dentures or hearing aides. I think of gold edges on the soles of shoes if shoes are at risk of going missing, etc.

That is an excellent idea, Sandwichone, about putting a large name label on the outside of a LO's clothes. Thank you! I'm going to do that ASP.

Recently all of mom's slacks disappeared from her closet. She had 10 pair, all labeled with her name, but on the inside.

I'm thinking part of the problem is with the memory care's laundry procedures. One day I spotted an aid putting mom's clothing in another resident's room.

But one evening I did spot a couple ladies wearing identical slacks that I think may have been my mom's. The pants were too tight and too short for them, falling mid-calf. My mom is 4'8".

I've spoken to aids and nursing staff on several occasions. And I've been told that there has been a problem lately with residents' clothing vanishing.

It's always something.