Well and truly scared

Howaboutnow

M1,

I’m very sorry you have another major thing to face.

mrahope

Just thinking of you and hoping for the best outcome possible. Make the most of the resources you do have, the MC staff and your daughter. Remember that they may not do things or care for your DW they way that you would do it, but that life will continue even in the absence of showers, the animals will survive, etc. Don't

let all these issues distract from your mission, which is to take the best possible care of yourself. I feel your "overwhelm" and do understand it. Please do keep us posted on your surgery prospects.

And if I could, I'd bring you groceries, watch your cats and chickens...

Dogsaremylife

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67351/well-and-truly-scared

It's amazing how life brings changes that are out of our control. I am so sorry you are enduring this physical problem and wish you a smooth recovery. Have you looked into Home Hospice care for your wife? You may need your wife's doctor's recommendation, but the process is actually smooth. As to your pet, there are many organizations all over the country that will "foster" your pet while you are recovering. I know you must feel overwhelmed, but something good may come of all this that will make your life better in the long run. Please keep us posted about what is going on. Blessings to you and your wife.

tigersmom

M1, I am truly sorry that you are facing this. I, too, hope that you are a surgical candidate, and that you will find way to solve for the difficulties during recovery. You have received lots of good suggestions from the folks here. We are all pulling for you.

Jeanne C.

(((M1)))

Jeanne C.

Oh, and possibly check out Mom's Meals. Fresh, vacuum packed, refrigerated meals that microwave in 2-3 minutes. My husband quite likes them.

midge333

Good thoughts. It all sounds daunting.

dayn2nite2

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/190840#Comment_190840

I posted in Lorita's thread. I was changing a light in the bathroom and using a stepladder, got off balance and fell to the side on the floor. Tibia-fibula fracture, luckily did not need surgical repair, but I am strictly nonweightbearing for 8-10 weeks. This happened the week before Thanksgiving. I used my Apple watch to call 911, so this turned out to be a great thing because my phone was in my bedroom. So I have my walker, I have a little basket on it and keep all my doo-dads in it...LOL I have a toilet riser now, a shower chair and I do make use of the no-rinse wipes, all the reading here certainly helped me be aware of what's out there.

GiGi1963

M1 it will be a long weekend for you and I hope all the advice and well wishes posted will show you how much we value you. It is scary but try to focus on how much better you will feel. Hugs.

housefinch

Wishing you and your physicians all the best as you navigate this challenging situation. Please put yourself first if possible 💕

mpang123

@M1

I see you have a lot of support from your team members...you have helped many of us with your insights...now we want to offer you the support you need as you go through your difficult time. Take care!

Jo C.

Dearest M; I just saw this stunning bit of news; my heart reaches out to you.

When things are out of our control, it helps to grab whatever sort of control dynamics one may have no matter how big or small and make good planning for options would be key as you will have a several month recoup period post procedure.

First; is there a chance the first month or so post hospital discharge can be done with you staying at your daughter's house or friends house closer to care and with support? That would be one option.

Second; or can someone come and stay at your house with you once you can be that distance away from short distance care needs? Even if a support person has to take family leave from work or take time from work, you could pay them their lost wages for the time they are with you. Still; I would feel best comfortable for you to be nearer medical care for that first month of recovery.

Start now to reach out to everyone to ask about alternatives with family and also with helpers in the home. You have a large place; I cannot recall if you said you had an elevator to the second story of the house or not. All basics need to be in place and ready for return home whatever that time frame will be. Daughter may wish to take a hand in this with or for you; good to let her help. Or hire help; someone to put their hands to the expected needs. Let Home Health come and bring their OT and Social Worker to plug in assistance as they know the local supports.

Someone could come and stay with you at your home when stable to return home even if they must be paid; worth the cost. NOTE: If staying in your own home after first month or so of recovery, it would be good to hire someone NOW to come in and help you arrange the house pre-op for recovery and getting in all special bits and pieces in place or arranged that you may need.

Personally, the first weeks or so would by far be best spent closer to the doctors, hospital and other care. You know that from professional experience. How can that be best done within family/friend dynamics?

The idea of the procedure is of course a very scary one - that is absolutely normal. Your partner is in best care and despite all the blips, she will continue to be fine. It is YOU who now has the priority issues.

How many animals do you have that need care? Cats? Dog? Any friends or family that would temporarily care for them? Kennels an option but often difficult if time needs to be extended for one reason or another. Perhaps a friend or family member will be willing to manage and get that in place for you.

This is hard; giving up independence and trusting in others; especially our bodies into surgery. Loss of privacy and lots of unknown and such a scary loss of control . Been there, done that and it is an awful feeling, but amazing in how we adapt and manage and come through. You can do this; some life alteration for a bit, but doable dear M.

Do not overthink; move fast looking into the various alternatives and make the plan for the immediate post-op period; then the return home WITH care, NOT alone.

You know how much we all care; you are a special person who is so supportive; now we support you in whatever way we can. Thoughts, prayers, hearts - all in your corner..

Please keep us posted or have someone do it for you if need be; we will be here waiting . . . .

With deep caring,

J.

Denise1847

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/190839#Comment_190839

Hi M1, I really hate adding to the complexity of your situation. You mentioned kenneling, which would normally be a good idea. However, there is a life-threatening respiratory virus in pets that is spreading, and the authorities do not recommend kenneling. I would not feel right if I didn't mention it.

Joydean

M1 so very sorry to hear what is happening to you. So much advice given and Jo C was right on! I am glad your daughter will be there for you. We will all be praying for the best outcome for you. You have always helped me , I wish there was something more I could do for you. You have certainly had a really rough last few years. Your partner will be okay because you worked so hard to get her in the MC she is at. They will take good care of her. Who knows she just might come around and let one of the caregivers help her with a shower! Please take good care of yourself. Let others help you during this time!

I just thought about that couple that were good friends until a few months ago, do you think they might help at this time? Just a thought! Blessing to you!

Vitruvius

I truly hope that everything turns out for the best.

justbreathe2

M1 I am very sorry your having to go through all of this on top of worrying about your LO.

I wish the best for you and that everything will fall in place with pet care. Most importantly, take care of yourself and hope you can find a solution for someone to help you.

You have offered good advice to many of us. Best wishes for quick recovery.

michiganpat

M1, I'm sorry to hear this. Your plate is already full. Best wishes to you and prayers for a good outcome. Pat

harshedbuzz

@M1 Good luck with your appointment today.

Jo C.

Thinking of you so much and hoping a good plan or two are beginning to emerge for post-op recovery.

Thinking of having to have the procedure is certainly a mega stress issue; having experienced a large surgical issue myself with a lot of risk, I so recall what that was like. Walking into that med center with hair standing on end and having to give myself over to others . . . . whew! Took over everything else in my thouoghts which were not positive in my mind and of course, knew all the negatives that could occur. We healthcare professionals seem to recall all the negatives we have ever seen and do not always remember the best or see those pts. post procedure who do not have issues; those who return home and do well - not in our line of vision.

While it may sound empty; and there will be a definite recovery period to return to your usual self, I have a very definite feeling that you will do well with the outcome from this. Please let us know how you are and what is happening. If you cannot Post yourself, perhaps someone close to you can let us know . . . I am deeply sorry this is happening; 2023 not such a good year; time for it to disappear and let 2024 be better and bring much goodness your way.

J.

Beachfan

Hoping and praying for you today. Good outcome(s) all around. One day at a time. Now is the time to put yourself first. Best wishes and blessings. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Phoenix1966

Thinking of you and sending out positive energy.

jfkoc

Thinking of you today...

M1

Thanks to all. Arteriogram (left and right heart cath) scheduled for Friday.

Emily 123

Glad to hear it, M1. I hope you had a good doctor's visit. Feeling like things are in motion can be both a relief and stressful.

Having it Friday will give you time to organize and make sure that you have what you need post cath. My neighbor just had one via radial and was home by noon ...a little tired, but up and puttering about. You'll do great!

Joe C.

M1, I will be thinking of you this Friday. Hang in there my friend.

toolbeltexpert

M1 you are always in my prayers and I'll be praying for you Friday. Don't know if I can be of help but you can message me and if it's in my power I'll do what I can. I am south of Cookeville

Anna2022

M1, I don't really know you but I feel like I do - I've been reading your posts since I joined in 2022! You have helped me tremendously! Godspeed to you during these hard times! We are all with you in spirit!

Joydean

M1 will be praying for you . Hope you can relax a little bit before Friday. Take care!

Jo C.

Will be with you in spirit on Friday . . . .

Hug being sent down electronic tether,

J.

ImMaggieMae

Positive thoughts and prayers headed your way for Friday and for these days leading up to it.