Dumbest or most inappropriate thing someone has said to you or your LOWD

CStrope

Okay, let's find a way to get a chuckle out of the inappropriate and ridiculous comments people make to either us about our LO, or directly to our LO.

Here's a couple from my list

1. Well they don't just tell you he has FTD and send you home, there's something they can do for it
2. You should probably hurry and get a divorce so you can get some money out of this

WIGO23

Are you sure about this? He looks fine to me.🥴

Cecil Jones

My Grandmother had Alzheimer's, I know what you're going through.

toolbeltexpert

Hi do you know who I am?

fmb

He's 92 years old. What do you expect? (said by his cardiologist!)

June45

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/191816#Comment_191816

I can't count how times I heard this or something similar in my caregiving years. It sent me through the roof every time. It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut from making a snide reply like how many pairs of disposable underwear have you changed today.

CStrope

Oh, and another good one I just heard this past weekend, "You remember my son, you taught him, and I know you'd remember him because he was naughty"! DH doesn't even know he was a teacher much less remember her specific naughty child!

Denise1847

"He looks good to me."

"He seems to be doing well."

Babz0226

Oh! DH sleeps in the the other room why? Yeah! so I can get some sleep to do what I have to do every day( I say to myself), no clue some people will never get it best to just keep things simple and talk to friends and family that do get it. Thank God they are there the people you need, and the nice people here to bounce things around --you all get it for sure and THANKS.

Whyzit2

Well at least you still have your husband! Really?

White Crane

First visit to my husband‘s new neurologist, he walked in and introduced himself. Then he looked directly at my husband and asked, “Well, how are you doing with your memory problems. Are they getting worse?” Poor husband looks at me and says, “Do I have memory problems?” Grr!!

JDancer

"Hope you're doing well!"

How could I possibly be well? I provided 24/7 care of a full grown man with the mind of a child with no help from anyone. But thanks...

This was said by DH's sister, who lives near, but has never offered any help and hasn't seen her brother in years.

Joe C.

There’s medication for that, you know!

frankay

DH in wheelchair, can't communicate, incontinent and needs help with all his ADLs. Brother looked at him and said "He seems very spry". Almost bit my tongue in half.

Denise1847

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/191858#Comment_191858

So far, I think you have won the prize for the worst comment made. I am not sure what I would have done in that situation - maybe scream or walk out. I am upset just reading such an insensitive comment. I am so sorry.

ImMaggieMae

You need to worry less. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Lgb35

1. They have medication for that now he will be fine
2. it’s sad how it takes their memories but they body is still healthy

WIGO23

I’mMaggieMay—“You need to worry less. Don’t sweat the small stuff.”

There Is no “small stuff” is there? Everything lost is huge because your LO is slipping away from you!

CStrope

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/191849#Comment_191849

WOW!

CStrope

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/191862#Comment_191862

I would have said, just a second, I need to google the definition of spry!

Denise1847

As I read all of these comments and go through this terrible journey, I have come to realize that until we walk in someone else's shoes we will never fully appreciate their experiences, pain, suffering and joy. It has taught me to be so much more empathic to others who have various plights. I hope I NEVER lose that perspective.

Perhaps this is the small gift we are given through our pain.

ghphotog

I still don't know what to say to another person with dementia. You would think I'm an expert at this but only when it comes to my DW. I could relate to the full time caregiver, that we have in common.

Joydean

So is this one of his bad days? Said by dh’s brother who hasn’t seen him in over 4 years! Dh is now in a wheelchair, can’t speak, (except to say okay)doubt incontenint, and doesn’t understand what others are saying to him! Brother was trying to tell dh about a car and because dh had no idea, brother decided dh was having a “bad day “!

JDancer

I expressed sympathy to a friend whose husband had died. She said to me, "In many ways, I think your situation is worse." I felt like giving her a kiss.

sawman3211

What's the good thing about alzheimers? Every day you get to meet new people.

Bluebird

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/192002#Comment_192002

Made me laugh.

My husband has always hated leftovers. I do all the cooking and could only make enough for two or the extra food would go to waste. It was a lot of work planning and cooking so many different meals. Now I can cook a big pot of soup or stew and serve it for every lunch and dinner for several days. Every meal is new to him. In his head I no longer serve leftovers. I look took for the positive where I can find it.

Chammer

FIL to MILwAD when she would comment incorrectly on something: "now, C, you know that's not right." (Ummm... who has the brain problem?) And she would either roll her eyes at him and make a disgusted harumph or throw her water bottle at him.

Kraft44

My father had MCI, which remained stable. He was 92 at the time and I brought him to his cardiologist appointment. The cardiologist was in his 60’s. He asked my father, “tell me how you’ve been doing”. My father responded, “I’ve been doing very well”. Which was the complete truth, my father was in fact doing very well. The cardiologist responded, “yeah and someday you’re gonna drop”.

darcytg

Can't you just leave her alone and go swim for an hour?

Ummm, no.

ImMaggieMae

”It’s really not any harder than caring for a toddler as a single parent.”

cvannor

"Really? But he's so young!"