Last Friday my world went sideways

White Crane

Last Friday, my youngest son and his daughter left our house about 8 AM to go back to Indiana. They had been here for a week helping me because I had surgery on my arm on January 12. At 9 AM. My husband got up and got dressed. He came downstairs and ate breakfast. Then he sat in his recliner and said he wanted to rest. At 10:30 AM the aid arrived to give him his shower. He argued, but finally gave in and went upstairs with her. By the time they got upstairs, he was shaking from head to foot. He did get a shower, but afterwards he was still shaking and having difficulties. She called me to come upstairs to see if I could talk to him and find out what was wrong. He just laid there shaking and wouldn’t let us touch him. Then he appeared to fall asleep. About a half hour after the aid left I heard movement upstairs and went to investigate. I found him in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, shaking uncontrollably. He was shaking so badly he could barely talk. He tried to get up and ended up falling. Then he started vomiting. I knew I needed help so I called 911. They were able to get him down the stairs and into the ambulance and took him to the ER. He was admitted later that night with pneumonia. He is still in the hospital, but is still very weak. He can’t even stand up on his own. He’s also very confused and until last night has been combative overnight. I think they have him so heavily sedated now that he’s just lying there. The doctor called me and said there was no way I would be able to bring him home. The care manager at the hospital is going to make phone calls and see if she can get him admitted to the memory care I have chosen. If not, he will have to go to another facility until they have an opening. I didn’t think my heart could break anymore, but it has. I didn’t know when we went to bed last Thursday night that we would never sleep in the same bed again. Our children have all been informed and are very supportive but the whole family feels broken. I’m about to cry writing this, and I didn’t think there were any more tears left. Because of the weather and the surgery on my arm, I’m still not driving. A friend is going to take me to the hospital later this morning and pick me up this evening. There’s so much to think about and so many phone calls I need to make that I feel overwhelmed. I’m losing my husband of 56 years. He’s my husband and my best friend and the love of my life. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt this devastated.

Brenda

Beachfan

Brenda,

I am so very sorry! What a frightening experience. Try to remain calm (easy for me to say), listen to the professionals; they know best and pray that you are able to accept whatever the immediate future holds. That’s allI can think to do right now. One day at a time. You have demonstrated incredible strength in your caregiving to this point; stay strong. Praying for you and DH. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

MARSHARAY

I just said a tearful prayer for you and your DH, Brenda.

M1

Brenda so sorry. Sending prayers

Mint

(((Brenda))) I’m so sorry.💦💦🙏🏻🙏🏻

brs

I'm very sorry for your difficulties. I'll pray for you.

Caro_Lynne

In my prayers Brenda xo

Jeanne C.

I wish I could help you somehow. You'll be in my thoughts.

harshedbuzz

@White Crane

Brenda, I am sorry to hear of this sudden turn of events.

Sending you warm thoughts.

HB

JeriLynn66

Brenda, you and yours are in my prayers.❤️

Joydean

Brenda sending prayers for you and your husband! My heart hurts for you and your husband! I just can’t imagine what you are going through but I do know God is with you!!

ImMaggieMae

Brenda, I am so sorry. I will be praying for you and your husband. Just take one day at a time.

jfkoc

I too am sorry for all of you but fell I must ask how your husband was before he became ill and taken to the hospital. Also, can he not come home because of the illness?

I am not certain that MC will be able to care for a sick person.

Please do update us as often as possible.

darcytg

Brenda,

I can not imgine the devastation of heart you're enduring.

So very grateful for your family support and friend with the willingness to drive you.

Glad you're able to be by your DH's side, even if he's unaware due to medication.

Take good caree of you. Prayers for you and yours.

SSHarkey

I’m so sorry! How frightening! I’m sure your kids feel badly that they had just left! Sudden changes always leave us reeling. You’re in my prayers!

Lills

Brenda, I was tearful reading this! I'm sure I can speak for all of us, we feel your pain. Prayers, prayers and more prayers coming your way!

Mimi50

I am so sorry for you and your kids. Also for your DH and praying for all of you.

loveskitties

Dear Brenda, so very sorry at this latest news, made all the more difficult due to the suddenness.

Prayers for your DH, you and all who love you.

ButterflyWings

(((White Crane))) It is just impossible to predict, or to be prepared. Praying and crying with you.

Joe C.

Brenda, I am sorry to hear of your husband’s pneumonia and impending placement. You have been an amazing caregiver and advocate for your husband and I know you will continue to do the same even though the situation may be changing.

justbreathe2

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67887/last-friday-my-world-went-sideways

White Crane I am so sorry for you and know this would be so difficult. I pray for strength during this time.🙏

Phoenix1966

I’m so sorry for what you’re losing.

Quilting brings calm

I‘m so sorry this has happened / and when you were already stressed by surgery. My step-dad had pneumonia a couple years ago and it came on quickly and a lot like your DH. Once they get the pneumonia treated and he gets his strength back, you should find him a little more aware. Maybe not enough to come home, but enough to make you feel a little better.

M1

Brenda, i wonder if inpatient hospice is an option. Please do keep us posted when you can.

wose

There are just no words ….. I’m so very sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight💙

Pat6177

Brenda, I’m sorry too. Right now, only God knows how he will do fighting this illness and what his recovery will look like. As with so many other trials with this disease, we have to be patient and see how it all evolves. I know this will be difficult but try to take care of your arm as you go thru the next several days. (((Hugs)))

Jgirl57

Oh no! I am so sorry to hear this. I can’t even imagine how you are feeling. Sending hugs for your strength .

Jeff86

Brenda — I am so sorry about this turn of events. This disease is a long road of repeated losses. Wishing you strength in the days ahead.

LaneyG

What a horrible experience White Crane. I’ll be thinking of you. I can only imagine the mish mash of thoughts, fears and other emotions going through you. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

LJCHR

I am so sorry. My heart hurts for you and your family. Prayers coming your way.

annahowie

I am so sorry - sending prayers to you and your family