Changing an Alzheimer patient's home base

Latru01

:s Hi community! I'm new to the discussions and am so glad this exists. My husband and I are becoming caregivers to my mother-in-law who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's-Dementia a few years ago. She's at the point where her short-term memory is mostly non-existent, but her long-term is still mostly sharp, give or take a few memories. She still knows who we all are. We just converted our basement into an in-law suite and moved them down there this weekend. They were living upstairs for 40 years, but we bought the house from them and converted the basement for them. Since moving her downstairs last Saturday (5 days ago), she's been in an awful mood and has been verbally mean to my father-in-law, who is currently her main caregiver. We know the move is probably exacerbating her Alzheimer's-Dementia. In addition, she went to the hospital yesterday for a colonoscopy complication and is returning home today. She's been very upset and mean at the hospital and we were told this should get better when she returns home, but unfortunately, the home to which she will be returning is not the home base she's known for 40 years. We are looking for any advice and resources anyone can give us. Thank you so much for reading this!

SusanB-dil

Hi Latru01 - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Had you been living with them prior to moving them? She may have been a bit farther along than you thought. And yes, most likely, in her mind you have uprooted her familiar surroundings. This agitation happens often when a LO is moved to MC. Sometimes, given time, they do adjust. If she stays quite agitated, you might mention it to her doc, especially the verbal abuse. She may need a medication just to calm her down some.

harshedbuzz

@Latru01

Hello and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here, but glad you found your way here.

Sometimes a move and/or change of routine can seemingly cause a symptoms and behaviors that suggest a progression in the disease process. Familiarity provides structure and scaffolding.

When you said you and your DH bought your in-law's home and moved them into the basement, I thought to myself--woo boy, this could get ugly. Your MIL is likely hazy on the details of the deed transfer and probably feels like you are stealing her home. FWIW, it is a common delusion of people in the middle stages of dementia to believe the folks helping them are doing all manner of egregious things behind their back even without a daily trigger of being banished to the basement however lovely it is now. My dad was certain I wanted his car and kept a couple of his houses while my mom was too busy cheating with other men to stop me. Dad also believed he owned all the homes on his street and got angry when he saw strangers coming and going from them.

It might have gone somewhat better if you and DH took over the basement until such time as she's in a later stage and less aware of her surroundings. Or not. She might still have struggled with the routine changes of having more people in the home and acted out.

In your shoes, I would have her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist for medication management asap. There are medications that could damp down these feelings and help her be calmer and easier to care for.

HB

Latru01

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/198348#Comment_198348

Thank you very much for your response, I appreciate it! We weren’t living with them before, when we move in a month, it will be the first time. The house we bought from them is the one they raised their kids in. That’s a helpful note about mentioning the changes to the doc. Again, really appreciate it!

Latru01

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/198381#Comment_198381

Thank you so much! Everything you described is on point, she seems untrusting of everyone closest to her right now (mainly FIL, hubby, and me). I did not know geriatric psychiatrists were a thing, that’s wonderful to know. We will look into that for sure. Thank you so much again!

ButterflyWings

Depending on what happened with the colonoscopy and the "complications" you described, there may be medical or medication reasons for her agitation - even more so than being disoriented by the move.

FWIW, most on this forum do not continue invasive elective procedures like this for PWDs, especially when they include anesthesia that can cause further declines in cognition. I would definitely report all this to her Drs and get guidance.