Trying to Manage

greentea47

Since my FIL has been staying with us, he just seems to be getting more difficult to care for. We have received a referral to neurologist for my FIL so we will be making an appointment to hopefully get an official diagnosis, medications/treatment. We have reached out to attorney regarding POA. In the meantime, we’re struggling with my father in law attempting to leave our home because he is determined to go back to his house. We have an alarm at our house on which seemed to deter him if he attempted to open any doors. However, over the weekend, he ignored that alarm and made it out of the front door while my husband and I were sleeping. Before we could make it to the front door, he was on his way down our street to the neighbor’s house. Thankfully, he wasn’t hurt and we were able to bring him back to our house safely. The, the next morning at 6am, the police were at our door after my FIL called 911 as he thought someone stole his shoes. While the police were here, he kept saying he needs to catch the bus because he needed to go home. We had been telling my FIL he needs to stay with us until he can see specialist which seemed to settle him. However, this morning, He just got more and more agitated, crying as we were all trying to explain to him that he would have to stay with us. We were trying to set up a caregiver who could be with him during the day while he’s here, take him out to run errands or other activities because he just seems bored or restless. He says he needs to go to bank to check his accounts, he needs to go to his house to get his briefcase with his documents… My husband and I just feel we are not equipped to deal and support/treatment is just not happening fast enough.

M1

I am so sorry, these situations are very very difficult. Remember you always have the option of taking him to the emergency room and telling them that you cannot manage him at home. You would have to ask for emergency admission to a geriatric psych ward for medication management, and if he is a danger to himself or others (sounds like he is) this can happen even if you don't have POA yet. Having done this myself, I can tell you it is also not easy, but if it's necessary, it's necessary. You might want to check out which hospitals near you have geriatric psych wards, that is at least one thing you could do. The advantage is that he would be safe, he would have an expedited medical evaluation, and the social worker could help you make decisions about placement from there. The correct cocktail of medications would probably go a long way to calm him down and make life better for all of you.