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The Bright Side

AlzWife2023
AlzWife2023 Member Posts: 326
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Here’s a thread to share positive moments or ideas and tips on caregiving. I’ll start.

*good weather today so we went to the dog park and to town for coffee…hubby enjoyed this

*music always perks him up…

*the more I treat him like my hubby while understanding his limitations (so going slow, being patient, having no big expectations), the happier and more “normal” he seems

Comments

  • tfnots
    tfnots Member Posts: 6
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    I appreciate your 'good' day. And that you do those ordinary things with your husband. I'm working on that. My DH is in the early stages of dementia and I want to keep things as routine and normal as possible.

  • jsps139_
    jsps139_ Member Posts: 230
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    So true in my case also. I used to get frustrated and he could see it on my face. He responded defensively with anger outbursts. I am now working on being patient and predictably pleasant in all situations, and it is amazing how positive my DH has been. I am impatient at times, of course, but not near as often as I used to.

  • l7pla1w2
    l7pla1w2 Member Posts: 177
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    The original definition of "patience " is interesting and relevant:

    <https://www.etymonline.com/word/patience>

    quality of being willing to bear adversities, calm endurance of misfortune, suffering, etc.

    Don't we all know it!

  • AlzWife2023
    AlzWife2023 Member Posts: 326
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    Great post. It is true. Patience is really key to freedom and happiness. I am glad that I am naturally patient, but I do not know if I'd be at peace with things like I am now and exercising maximum patience without having the help I have from family, removing other stressors (like work), and adding the help of an SSRI (low dose).

  • AlzWife2023
    AlzWife2023 Member Posts: 326
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    edited March 12

    Great point. My son lives with us now to help out financially, but if he were not here I would be serving the same things. I like to cook my son nice meals as a thank you for being here, and he really loves it, but does not require it!

    I was thinking that I need to cut down on all the cooking since I'm always in the kitchen and can't even keep up with the dishes. Your post has reminded me to make this a priority! I think I was going overboard with the cooking b/c I was avoiding my DH. Now that I have accepted and understand what's going on, I can engage with him at his level and enjoy it.

  • AlzWife2023
    AlzWife2023 Member Posts: 326
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    Sitting on the deck with DH in the sun under the blue sky drinking coffee & listening to the calls of the Phoebe (bird); that’s my Bright Side for today!

    Sending love to all you caregivers. You are so strong & so special!

  • HangingIn
    HangingIn Member Posts: 28
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    The ice is out, and DH and I are looking forward to the return of the loons. (And also to the end of Mud Season!)

  • WIGO23
    WIGO23 Member Posts: 130
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    My moments of brightness come when I spontaneously dance with my DH when an oldie but goodie comes on our Spotify connected Google Home Assist. (Isn’t technology something? In the “old days”, I would have just said “radio”)😂

  • Jeannielou
    Jeannielou Member Posts: 28
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    I agree that patience is the key and I have to work on that every day. We went out for breakfast this morning on the spur of the moment. We both enjoyed the sponteneity.

  • AlzWife2023
    AlzWife2023 Member Posts: 326
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    Another great day yesterday--just pretending we are young again seems to transform us both. Listening to music in the car, eating McDonald's in the drive-thru, taking it easy, being affectionate, not fussing --we're both calm and happy

  • Abby1567
    Abby1567 Member Posts: 22
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    Thank you for starting this positive thread! My DH and I go for 2-3 walks a day in the woods. It’s wonderful (except for the ticks!) and lifts our spirits. Life can still be so good!

  • concerned_sister
    concerned_sister Member Posts: 425
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    DB has come to accept he no longer drives. When I was visiting with him Saturday he suggested we go to lunch at the food court at the local mall. He seemed to appreciate getting those few extra miles away from home, and being out people watching as we ate.

  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 797
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    My dh moved to a new room that has a little patio, with a chair on it. I brought him his outdoor chair from home and we were able to go choose new cushions for it. Now we can both sit on his little patio, and I think he loves having that chair. He's called me several times today very happy, and I think he's happy about the chair.

  • AlzWife2023
    AlzWife2023 Member Posts: 326
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    We had a great day today. DH full of energy, responsive, alert, retaining convos, active, happy. Thanking God that we still have days like this!

  • Stan2
    Stan2 Member Posts: 95
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    Like many before me have said "patience is the key". Patience has never been my strong suit but I am learning, and as I learn DW and I are both happier and more at peace. I have also decided that most things I was impatient about really aren't important anyway. We actually have many good days but today we planted strawberries and tomatoes and admired the blooming roses and iris.

  • LJCHR
    LJCHR Member Posts: 203
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    We had a very nice evening. Friday or Saturday nites are our “concert” nites. We listen to music for hours sitting on the sofa together, holding hands thru some of the songs. I think (hope) that as this disease progresses and he forgets who I am - he will react to the music that has become a routine for us.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more