DW keeps trying to leave the house and walk away

Jakesboss8

DW has advance dementia. Lately she has opened the doors of our home and walked up the street toward the main road. When I follow here she won't return of even talk to me except to say No every time I talk to her. Twice now, I've had to call me son to come over and talk to her and he has been able, with much effort, to convince her to come home. We put bolt locks that require a key on all of our outside doors and she keeps finding old keys and trying to use them. She comes in to me and says, "Open the door!" with a really aggressive tone of voice and look on her face. I just patiently say, "No. It's too dangerous." The two of us (both 74) have been living alone together for years, but this behavior is becoming more frequent. An advice?

Quilting brings calm

This is one of the reasons that placement into Memory Care is considered. High locks on the door, tracking devices in shoes, identity bracelets are all things people try. You can’t reason with them, so you have to do things that prevent them from wandering.

ButterflyWings

Seroquel was our solution. And validation, redirection, distraction all worked much better once he had the medication that helped curb hallucinations and delusions (false beliefs like he was in the wrong place and had to leave for work, etc.). It controls his agitation and anger is gone, so he became much more like his normal easy-going personality and more manageable.

I still have to watch him like a hawk. He is line of sight at all times, for years now. That is just a fact. He has slowed down over time but even now with one or two toes in Stage 7, he would elope out the front or back door every day if he could. He is curious to a fault. That has never changed. Some of our LOs are just exit-seeking I think, and have to be protected against that.

harshedbuzz

I agree that medication is likely required to dial back the anxiety and agitation that drive this kind of behavior.

I would encourage you to consider a lock box on the outside of the house so emergency services can get in if needed. If you were physically unable to unlock the door, you'd both be trapped inside.

Another approach that might help if she's fairly advanced would be using visual cueing to discourage the behavior. Many PWD will visually process a black mat as a hole and avoid it. This did work for a friend's mom to keep her off stairs. A member on another board here bought a peel'n'stick door decal that looks like a bookcase to discourage her LO from exit seeking. She hasn't reported back on it yet, but this "hidden door" strategy was used successfully in dad's MCF.

https://www.alzstore.com/door-murals-peel-and-stick-p/0364.htm

HB

Jakesboss8

Thank you all for your responses. They are very helpful. I had not considered the lockbox outside and have been worried about getting stuck in the house if we could not unlock from inside. I will also ask the neurologist about Seroquel. That well might help. I don't think we're ready for moving her into a memory care facility quite yet since she still is fine most times, dresses herself, can feed herself and handle her own bathroom needs, although incontinence is a major inconvenience.