It's so lonely

planetamy

hi I am Amy (61) and my husband (64) was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's in June 2023. Since I am also disabled I knew we had to get out of our house and into a care environment before disaster struck. We are in a really nice Assisted Living place now.

Currently Ive been feeling lonely even though we're together all the time. I guess because he's not really all here. Ive made friends at assisted living, but it's him Im lonely for.

I really appreciate having this forum because I can say things like this here & you all get it.

M1

Hi Amy glad you're in a safe environment, but yes, it remains crushingly isolating. I think nearly all of us who are fortunate enough to have loving marriages/partnerships miss our loved ones. And i very much agree that this forum helps.

l7pla1w2

It's good, and important, that you've made friends at your ALF. What you're missing is being able to have a conversation with your DH. Instinctively you will turn to him to ask a question, share a thought, discuss the news, but the person you knew is no longer there. So over time you say less and less. Of course you're lonely.

Rocky2

Hi Amy,

My DW was diagnosed with EOAD 5 years ago. We are in our mid 60's now and DW is in MC. We, or perhaps I should say, I just celebrated our 42nd anniversary. I am grateful that DW is still alive and recognizes me when I visit. Even so, I often feel a deep loneliness as much of who she was is gone. I try to remain focused on blessings of the years we enjoyed together and cherish the time we have left. AD is aptly described as the long goodbye. I pray that you will find strength in God, friends and family. You do indeed have a community that understands and supports you here on this forum.

Tom

trottingalong

I agree with you. I miss my best friend who I could talk to about anything. Nothing can get rid of that simple fact.

LaneyG

Hi Amy, I too feel your pain. I miss my husband so much. I can no longer have a normal reasonable conversation with him. This is not the retirement we long for and worked so hard for. I find the loneliness is compounded by missing time I used to spend with my friends and family. I’m with my husband 24x7. I think it is great you found a nice assisted living community. No one can replace your husband, but it is good for you to be able to connect with others and develop other meaningful relationships. This forum has been a Godsend for me.

SSHarkey

Hello Amy! Welcome to this forum. We all completely understand your feelings! We’re going through the same things! This is a safe place to share, to ask questions, or to vent. We need each other’s support and encouragement. Join in as often as you can.

ghphotog

Yes and welcome! Before I found this support group I thought I was completely alone but now I've realized I'm not alone in what I think, how I feel and what I share and so many of my feelings and thoughts are shared with and by so many others here.

mrahope

I totally get it. DH only wants to talk about what he wants to talk about, and because I have to be here all the time I truly miss good conversations with other adults. Also, his capacity for empathy, which was once so great, is gone. Missing the empathy, missing the shared decisions…these are completely the norm. You are among friends.