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I Feel Lost, Depressed and So Very Sad
Hello. I am new to ALZ Connect. I am looking to connect with others who have or are experiencing what I am going through as an adult child with a parent with ALZ and another parent who is losing it as the care giver. I am hoping to connect with others who feel similar to what I feel so maybe I won't feel so alone in this…
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being prevented from communication
My DW of 45 years has ALZ and is living in an assisted care facility. The oldest daughter has POA. She and an unknown DR have implemented what they call a "NO CONTACT" plan where I am being prevented from any communication with my wife. They say this is for her "well being" and that it is permanent. She is taking 3 or 4…
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Counting the days
A recent comment by @Jo124c on another thread prompted me to share this poem I recently wrote. The commenter wrote about counting the number of days since their husband died and posting it on a whiteboard as a way of maintaining connection. ********** Sunday, December 21, 2025 Eleven months today (Will I ever stop marking…
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New diagnosis, new to group. Having a rough ugly cry day.
I have been very emotional, ugly crying today. Today is hard, others are not- those days I am "numb". I am 41, married for 19 years, I have 5 kids ages 8, 10, 17, 18, 20. I have tested positive for PSEN1 which is one of 3 variants known to cause young onset Alzheimer’s. I have had cognitive symptoms since August 2023. I…
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Barely Surviving Everday…
Hi, I am new here. By a grace of God, I was given this website, believe it or not from a woman that was a customer service representative at the Treasury Department. My mom has Alzheimer’s, and I suspected it four years ago and sent the alarm to the family. Nobody believed me, and thought it was natural aging, and…
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His Birthday is Today
My husband just passed on June 19, and today is his birthday. While there is never a good time to go, this is just too close for me. I am struggling in every way. How does one get through these important dates? I know the first year will be the worst, but this is beyond awful. People are calling & texting, and I'm hiding…
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Lost My Father Tragically - Learning How to Move Forward
Hi everyone, My father died as a result of dementia. During the night, he became confused and unsafe, something dementia had been causing more and more often. He left the house, and by the time my mother found him in the morning, it was too late. Writing that still feels unreal. What I am struggling with most now is guilt.…
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Learning to grieve
My mom was officially diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers in January, although she has been showing symptoms for quite some time now. My mom and I have always had a close, yet complicated relationship as she was a single parent and she had a hard time "letting go" of her baby. Back in August, she had ended up with strep…
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rough day w dad in MC "Get me out of here!"
Hi community, Dad was pretty agitated today during our visit. Redirecting was not working, so I had to cut my visit short. I'm wondering what I am missing or if you all have more ideas for me to consider. Here's some context plus what I'm seeing lately. He tells me that he just has to get out of there. Over and over. I…
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Grief Counseling: Yay or Nay?
My beautiful Mom transitioned this past August. I miss her every single day. It's painful, actually, and I know only a couple of months have passed, but time is not healing. Every day without her is painful. As her only child and primary beneficiary, I have access to grief counseling that her health insurance policy offers…
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Oregon Caregiver Conference
This discussion was created to help Oregon and Southwest Washington caregivers stay connected.
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Long Winding, Descending Road
Hello: For 5 yrs. I am a primary caregiver living with 93 yr mother who has multiple health issues, vascular dementia (VaD) and on Hospice for several months. I believe the end of the road is near. I have been circling various stages of grief as I witness what she is living through (unable to walk, stand, loss of…
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Her Sun Has Risen...
I know the discussion title is a little unusual, but I chose to title it that way to reflect her freedom from the disease on this side of life. That's how I like to think of it anyway in order to retain some sort of sanity. My mom, diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2018, transitioned in late-August of this year. I am her only…
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newly diagnosed.
New diagnosis, no treatment or medication started yet. I am 68 and have suspected this diagnosis for almost 18 months. Felt gaslit by my family when I mentioned it. They were in denial and basically told me it was just ADHD. Now that I am diagnosed, THEY are the ones that are like deer in the headlights. Husband says…
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Continual Grief: I Miss My Mom
I visited my mom again today at her skilled nursing facility. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2018 (she had probably been experiencing it since the early 2010s, in reality), and I made the gut-wrenching decision to place her into an SNF in 2021. She's currently experiencing late-stage Alzheimer's. She has…
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From NYT: Is It Healthy to Grief Before a Loss
A piece on anticipatory grief. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/17/well/anticipatory-grief.html?unlocked_article_code=1.uU8.ctMJ.nGw1BRIf_CY5&smid=url-share
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Grief while still caring for LO
I just need to vent to someone that understands. Mom is in MC so I know I am not dealing with as much as many here, but it is so hard. She is sad, angry, scared and confused and any one of those is hard to watch your Mom go through. I miss my Mom and all the good times. I had my doctor say “it must be easier now that she…
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Guilt, Grief, and Memory Care
My mother and I always had a difficult relationship, but I know she loved me very much. She is in the moderate stages of Alzheimer’s and this disease has actually changed her into the sweetest person, partially due to her taking sertraline. So, in a turn of events I actually really like being around her now. She has enough…
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Father keeps asking where my mother is...
I'm sure this has been addressed many times previously, but I just signed up today. So I'll ask. I moved my 85-year-old parents into a personal care facility 4 months ago. My mother needed the extra care, but my father was fine even though he was in the throes of dementia. My mother passed away after 3 weeks in the…
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The past three weekends have been so draining
For the last three weekends, including today, my mom's dementia has been at a 7, on a scale of 1 to 10. She's been a mix of emotional and delusional, rehashing the past with my deceased Dad of 13 years, forgetting where she put things she either put down or things of hers I keep in my room, or crying about how she wants to…
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How to support mom?
We moved my dad to memory care this week after a stroke one month ago. My sister and I are physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, but also want to be able support my mom (82 yrs) with this life altering event. I call and she’s sobbing but won’t talk to me and just tells me she has to go. As exhausted as we are, I…
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Nevermind
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Having trouble crying? Then read this one: The Swimmers by Julie Otsuka
I haven't been on this site for a long time and was moved to post here by this book. Brilliantly written and tightly constructed, Julie takes us on the journey of her mom through her mom's decline. I think it was by chapter 3, I was sobbing, and then weeping at the description of the importance of trees. (I remember how my…
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Morally Conflicted about Nursing Home
My 75-year-old grandmother was diagnosed a year ago with moderate dementia, which has now later turned into an Alzheimer's diagnosis. She is starting to slowly have "out-of-mind" episodes, confusing a very close family member with their parent (her son), etc. while these are infrequent as of now, they are suddenly onset…
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Love and Loss in Alzheimer’s
My Journey with this horrible Alzheimer’s disease is coming to an end now that my sweet wife of 55 years, Linda, has died on May 31st, 2025. I have learned so much about how to navigate this process over these past few years and am grateful to each of you who has shared their thoughts, experiences and advice. My life will…
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I’m so lost - mother is 90, English is a second language
I am so lost. My father recently passed away - somewhat unexpectedly - and, as an only child, am left to care for my 90 year old mother. I had not realized just how bad her short-term memory loss had gotten (dad never said) and I suspect she has onset dementia, She refuses to talk to a doctor or anyone about her mental…
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My mother doesn't remember my brother died; suggestions for path ahead?
Hi all, I am a new member here. My mom, who is 95 and lives with my family, has significant cognitive decline and has trouble making new memories. Several weeks ago, my brother died of cancer after having been ill since last summer. Mom knew he'd had cancer and she visited him a number of times in his last days. She also…
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My Mom Keeps Misplacing Things & Thinking My Late Dad Is Still Alive
My mom has a UTI (urinary tract infection) that is causing dementia symptoms. For the past month and a half, she's been misplacing things and then blaming it on my late Dad and insisting he is alive and messing with her. He's been dead for more than a decade, but she never came to terms with it. She was taking meds for the…
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New To Forum. Mom has UTI that has progressed dementia symptoms
Hi all. I'm 34 & I've been my mom's primary caregiver since I was 22. For the past decade, she's had some memory problems (misplacing things, forgetting what day it is, forgetting how to navigate some driving routes, forgetting there's a boiling pan on the stove). Yet this was always managable with my help until recently.…