Shower / bath help

CarolynATL

My father has late stage Alzheimers and moved into MC fairly early into the progression. As a result, personal care was handled by staff. So I'm in completely new territory now and in over my head.

My parents-in-law have moved in with us as they were no longer able to live alone. They are mobile, able to walk, dress, eat independently, take their meds. My MIL has undiagnosed dementia and reasoning is largely gone. Current situation - she refuses to shower or bathe.

I've watched the Teepa Snow videos and have everything laid out ahead of time. I have the bathroom warm from steam, hand-held water temp not too hot/too cold, soft towel and pj's fresh from dryer, shower bench, personal wipes warmed as a backup. She'll "bathe when she gets to Mexico tomorrow". She's not combative, she simply walks out of the room and sits down (same as at the doctor, refuses to go into the office).

We've worked around some other battles like getting her in the car to "go pick up grandaughter from school" or wash her clothes after she's asleep.

I'm at a loss. Any new suggestions? We're going on months now.

M1

Carolyn have you thought about bringing in a home health aide specifically for bathing? Might have the same response, but on the other hand some people respond better to an outsider/professional. Might be worth a try.

CarolynATL

I'm open to any idea right now. I suppose we could pretend she is here to do other things like "put meds together". I do remember when my dad began hospice, I was there and the aide came in and hustled him to the shower before he even had a chance to realize what was happening. She was like a ninja!

Thanks so much for the suggestion

Anonymousjpl123

My mom’s MC just told me she is starting to refuse bathing and they are struggling. I have been trying to think of what might help. The only thing I can come up with is to keep asking her in a nice way. An outsider might be able to help you, or maybe offer a sponge bath. My sense is that bathing becomes scary for the person, so the idea is to make it as benign as possible. I think at the point of hospice it’s easier: my mom is probably in late stage 5 and it’s really hard because she still has such a strong will. Let us know what you come up with! Hoping others chime in with what works.

Lynn24

My mother lives with us now and has dementia. She has become very resistant and combative toward bathing. Nowadays she is given a sponge bath, and medication has helped. Your mother needs something to treat fear and anxiety. Ativan has helped my mother, and can be given as needed. Also Rexulti is a medication that helps some patients. I pray that you find a solution soon to give you a sense of peace. Many blessings to all of us in this season of our lives!

Emily 123

My mother's been put on Lexapro and it's helped make her more open to assistance. I feel like she's calmer as well.