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From the NYT: The Lives They Led
This end-of-year article includes a section on Naomi Feil. You'll need to scroll down quite a bit to find it. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2024/12/20/magazine/people-who-died.html?unlocked_article_code=1.jE4.z51J.efbTs9_Va8M0&smid=url-share
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Daughter helping care of DW
I searched all over for comments about my daughter helping me care for my DW. Most of what I saw were complaints/concerns about lack of help. So is it reasonable for me to think that we can do it? And for how long? DW was diagnosed MCI in 2016 and AD 2018. Age 73. Behaviors don't perfectly fit a stage, but it is probably…
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Is Sundowning Real?
My grandmother has early stage Alzheimer's. I live a few hours away from her, but whenever I'm on the phone at night she seems much worse. I read an article about sundowning, which apparently is some sort of disorientation thing where after the sun sets, the patient becomes much more confused. Is it real? Can't tell if…
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Caregiving for Parent when you have a full time job and a teenager
Good morning. I am new to this forum and located in Wichita, KS. My mother has some memory issues resulting from an unknown stroke about a year go but discovered after she had a fender bender last March. I am 55, work a full time job, have a 16yo at home and two dog :smile: . She has always lived independently (my dad…
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Need help for my mom
My step father is caring for my mom who is quite advanced, she doesn’t really get any interaction with anyone, they live in a small town in Nevada so not many resources there. My step dad is slowly losing it with my mom, short fuse and all, he wants to put her in a State home but mom still recognizes everyone , just has a…
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Dementia and Muscle Weakness
My mom has been diagnosed with Dementia / Alzheimer's for about 2 years now. This past year i have been staying at my parents house as the adls for my mom are getting more difficult for my dad to care for her alone. We would like to keep her in her home as long as we are able to still care for her.💓 My mom's left side of…
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Meal Ideas
Hi everyone! My mom previously was an adventurous eater. Lately, she has trouble with finding foods she likes to eat. Her tastes have changed and she tends to just eat "junk" (chocolate, pretzels, peanut butter crackers, ice cream). Even things she liked a week ago, she says she does not like them anymore. We're trying to…
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Deception but not the usual topic
my mom has dementia and I've well read on the topic of the tendency to lie to fill in memory holes, or confabulation. I cannot find any material on this behavior: We will giver her a plate of food and ask her to be sure to eat it all. Total of 4+ ozs between all the items so not a large helping by any reasonable gauge.…
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New definition of a bad day
Found DH on his hands and knees in the bathroom with poop everywhere. He was trying to clean it up by putting chunks down the shower drain. I managed to get that stopped and got him in the shower while I cleaned up the floor and the toilet. Then I scrubbed him thoroughly and got him dried and dressed. Then I started the…
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Making prompting or cueing work
Prompting or cueing is defined as "Prompting refers to giving a verbal, physical, or gesture cue to indicate what the person with dementia is expected to do next". https://www.brookdale.com/en/brookdale-life/blogs/2021/use-the-prompting-technique-with-loved-ones-with-dementia.html I try to use that with a PWD when…
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When he can't stand up anymore
My dad is 81 with dementia and heart failure. He is in hospice at home. My mom (81) and myself ( I'm 50 and have severe treatment resistant depression and physical disabilities) care for him. Twice a week a nurse comes to check on him for 15 min. He is no longer able to walk; he can stand briefly with a walker so we can…
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Suggestions PLEASE
Hello everyone! This my first post, as a matter of fact, this is the first time I am dealing with someone with dementia. I am overwhelmed to say the least. I recently came to stay at a shelter, as I lost my house. This was 2 months ago. It's a small shelter, at present, there is just myself and another person, who has…
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Not sure what to do?
Hello, my name is Mary and I moved in with my mother in January and have been her primary caregiver since then. And to put it nicely I am exhausted. I moved in as my brother was moving out after about a year. My brother's wife abruptly filed for divorce in December of 2022 and he was forced out of him home within 48 hours…
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Anyone have experience with BOTH parents at once?
My folks are 83 and 80, living together in their home. Dad was formally dx'd in 2022, after periodic hallucinations that there were 3 versions of my mother; he also had some aphasia but was sharp in other ways. Neurologist prescribed Aricept and it has helped a little. Mom has had mild cognitive decline for years, but it…
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Therapeutic Lie
Hi everybody! I was looking for some advice on how to explain to my mom (60 with ALZ) the idea of starting to go to an adult day care program. There’s this wonderful program that’s 5 minutes away from us, in a senior center that my mom is familiar with already because her mom used to go there. I’be recently heard the term…
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How To Balance Life
Hi everyone! Hope you and your LO’s are well. I have been having a lot of problems having a proper “work-life balance” for lack of a better term. My mom’s (60) diagnosis and required care takes up all of my energy, thankfully she’s still able to move around and shower herself and use the bathroom on her own, and those were…
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Father on a fixed income
My dad is located in CA and is living on a small fixed income (less than $2,000 a month). He has zero savings and I am not in a position to help fiscally or in a position to have him live with me. Trying to find any additional help has been impossible. Does anyone know of organizations that help. He is currently in a…
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Father caring for mother
Is anyone like me in a situation in which their father is caring for their mother with Alzheimer's? I am the only daughter (one sibling is deceased, the other is not physically well and not emotionally suited to helping the way that I do). My father, in his 80s, is amazing in many ways as a caregiver (especially in his…
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Shower / bath help
My father has late stage Alzheimers and moved into MC fairly early into the progression. As a result, personal care was handled by staff. So I'm in completely new territory now and in over my head. My parents-in-law have moved in with us as they were no longer able to live alone. They are mobile, able to walk, dress, eat…
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lost
Hi I am new to ALZCONNECTED im not sure where to start. my mom has been diagnose with AlZ. she currently lives with my dad, but my dad is having a really difficult time accepting her diagnosis. he is not willing to educate himself about the disease and has no patience for my mom. he keeps saying he can't go through with…
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Just starting journey…
My MIL has not been formally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, but her mother had it and we have no doubt. She lives with my FIL, and we just went to visit after about 3 months absence. I had my doubts that she knew who we were before, but now she absolutely doesn’t know us. She calls us “hon” as a general catch all. She does…
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Ending Medication
My mom was taking 5mg of donepezil- a very small dose. 10mg gave her terrible hallucinations and 5 mg just gave her various stages of bad dreams. (That's why she was in 5mg) She absolutely hates taking medicine and I hated her taking it unnecessarily. The doctor, actually 2 doctors, suggested that 5 mg probably wasn't…
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You might be a fulltime caregiver if...
I am trying to find humor anywhere I can. Yesterday I was standing in a short line at the bank and it occurred to me how nice it was to just stand there quietly without (really) worrying about my LO for a few minutes. it occurred to me that we full-time caregivers have a slightly different view of our "free time": Standing…
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Late stage/seventh stage care
I'm fairly sure mom's completely in the last stage now, no longer straddling six and seven. I'm trying to find resources on what exactly her care needs are for this stage in life because it's vastly different than anything I've been through before. I have tried some web searches but they all seem rather vague and general…
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Need Ideas for duties/tasks an In-home care aid/companion can do
My mom and dad are finally open to having an in-home care aid come in a few times a week to help out around the house and most importantly, give my dad a rest from caregiving for my mom. Along with the normal apprehension to having a stranger come into their house, the big stressor for my dad right now is that he doesn't…
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Caring for Grandma
Good morning. I'm new here. My wife's grandmother is in mid stages of Alzheimer's and is at home. Grandpa is her primary caretaker and does not want to move her to a memory care facility. He also doesn't allow much help. My wife and I go over every couple of weeks to wash grandma's hair and try to get her into a change of…
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Lists
So yesterday I started a new job that is 100% work from home. I was so glad to get it so I can be home with mom during the day. Mom's doing so much better after this summer's problems due to her breaking her shoulder. She's nearly finished physical therapy. My question has to do with lists. Mom does pretty well when she…
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Moving my folks into my house
My dear mom (DM) has Alzheimer's. My dear dad (DD) is her primary caregiver. They are both in their mid-eighties. We live in the same town, as does my sister and my brother. I assist my DD care for DM, plus a caregiver comes in 3 days a week. Additionally, DM attends a day program 2 days a week. Three years ago, I had my…
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How to Start Part Time Help
Hello, My mother has (undiagnosed) Alzheimers and lives at home with my father. I live about 4 hours away and visit once a month, but my father has been dealing with the day today and it's beginning to be too much for one person. We think it's time to hire a part time companion/health aid. The problem is how to present…
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Moms Incontinence on another level
I've had two incidents w mom having bathroom accidents when we are away from home. I was so distraught / on the verge of tears when I caught her handling her waste/ putting hands in toilet. Has anyone ever experienced this? When I react she's so nonchalant about it / trying to give me a reason as to why its ok. It's not…