LO with ALZ

CatLadyX3

Thirteen years or so ago my Mom started to get angry. She and I worked together; she was the boss and I was one of the employees. My Mom wanted things done a certain way and she also started to exhibit memory issues. Then suddenly one month she got hit by a nasty illness that resulted in her being put in a medically induced coma. When she came out of it she was clearly very different. A neurologist diagnosed her with a cognitive impairment. Two maybe a tab more years ago she was formally diagnosed with ALZ. Recently my Mom has begun to sleep a lot more than she used to. Also she was moved from one facility to another for greater care. She can no longer do her own activities of daily living.

My Dad has felt lost and has not wanted to work much at the office with me. I have given him slack. However, in the last couple months I have begun to feel like he does only I do not have someone who can do my work. I struggle to get up in the morning and I am lucky if I get up by 7:30am. I try to take daily walks and meditate more than once a week.

I know my Dad has a right to his pain as I do to mine. His is a bit different since he is the spouse and my Mom was his best friend, his companion, and the one he gave his heart too.

I do not know if the latest talk, the fourth, that she is dying means she will pass away someone time this year or not. I only know and feel the toll on myself and I sympathize with my Dad.

A client suggested I try this and vent my feelings when I really need to. I will also be connecting with a mental health professional starting on the 11th.

SusanB-dil

Hi CatLadyX3- welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason. You are at the right place to vent at this horrible disease.

It is very hard to see our LO declining so much right before us. Not quite sure what you mean about this being the fourth and latest talk that she is dying, but you are right, it is painful.

Emily 123

Hello,

Since there's been discussion of her passing away have you considered getting hospice involved? They would be able to offer all of you good support.

harshedbuzz

@CatLadyX3

Hi and welcome to the club nobody wants to join. I am glad you found this place but sorry for your need to be here.

It is very possible the changes you see in dad are depression and isolation at losing a life-partner. But the sort of apathy and lack of empathy you're seeing could also be the onset of some cognitive shift in your dad. I saw a lot of mood changes in dad before his memory lapses were obvious to me. I would try to get him in for a checkup with a depression screening and perhaps a quick cognitive screening.

Hospice would offer you and dad some support as well as an additional layer of care for mom. I'd called for an evaluation.

Good for you to prioritize your mental health. Is it possible for you to bring on more help at work?
HB

CatLadyX3

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/204344#Comment_204344

Hospice is involved in her care. They come to her at the facility she is in.

CatLadyX3

Yes I am working on bringing someone in to help me at the office.

CatLadyX3

I think I will be put in touch with a social worker to discuss my Dad but I have to wait for my first meeting with the counselor to be sure that is still going to happen. Right now I think he is worrying about too many things at once. He has a tendency to do that. However, that does not rule out some kind of memory issue. There are many kinds. I had an uncle with them who had Parkinsons.