My first visit to a care home

subversivevegan

This feels like such a huge milestone I'm compelled to see if others felt the same? It's the first true tangible step I've taken towards the inevitable placement.

I keep telling myself that this is just for (my first) respite (in 2.5 years) but I'm not really kidding myself since in all likelihood she would not return home.

I guess I just wanted to share it with a group of people who understand how hard this step is.

ghphotog

I know very well how hard that is subversivegan. I placed my DW about two months ago with the option of bringing her back home after a month or two but in all reality that won't happen. I'm still adjusting to her being there and it's harder on me than her but still I miss her so very much each and every day. I'm also still adjusting to being home alone. The evenings are the hardest, it's quiet and that's great but also lonely.
I spent all morning doing our taxes and if she was still at home there would be no way in hell I could have 5 minutes, no make that 1 minute at a time to work on them without her demanding my attention or having to tend to her.
All I can say is yes it was the hardest decision I've ever had to make and it still hurts me but it was the right one.

GiGi1963

It is the most difficult decision I have ever made. I too did a respite month after 24/7 caregiving since 2019. I was exhausted and my DH was unhappy at home. I thought a change would help. He is now beginning his second month in MC. He is more relaxed than he was at home. He thinks he is working at the MC and enjoys helping everyone, residents and staff. I am still sad and cry over what I've lost but he has settled and content. Now I take him out for lunch dates and he sometimes knows who I am. But he always says he loves me. There is guilt that I couldn't continue care but less since I see him engaged and active. I am still very lonely at home and need to figure that out. I hope this helps your decision.

Daughter of a Marine

My heart goes out to all who have had to make this decision. We have reluctantly reached the point of accepting that placement for my DH is not an If but a When. He was diagnosed with Dementia 12 yrs ago and progression has thankfully been gradual but we're running out of time. He is now stage 5/6 and becoming more difficult for me to manage. Kids believe it's time but I can't imagine going home without him, leaving him there after 55 yrs together. I realize he's not really him any more but this is still the most difficult decision I will ever make.