Showering

concerned_sister

The subject of a loved one having hygene issues and refusing to shower comes up often. In the NY Times, there is an article dated April 30, 2024 by Anna Gibbs titled "Why Is It So Hard to Shower When I'm Depressed?"

I started reading with a hunch that there might be some overlap with what caregivers here experience with their loved ones. Some of the points in the article.

• It requires energy the person may not have
• Depression (as with dementia) can impair your ability to solve problems, make decisions and set goals…that can make many tasks difficult especially those with multiple steps
• A single shower might require undressing, turning on the water, lathering, hair-washing, shaving, rinsing, drying off, and choosing what to wear

The article goes on to discuss "feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness or other types of negative feelings". The inability to shower can feed in to this loop.

I thought I'd share incase anyone here would recognize what they're dealing with. The article also includes strategies to deal with this.

BassetHoundAnn

I saw that article and thought the points it made were so very interesting! It had never occurred to me that there might be an overlap between those suffering from depression and Alzheimer's victims not wanting to shower. But it makes a lot of sense. Especially the description of how bathing requires multiple steps and an individual might not have the energy or executive function to follow those steps.

When I started caring for my mom one of the first things I noticed was that she didn't want to shower or bath. Part of the problem was that she could no longer regulate the water temperature. But I think following the steps to bath was also a problem. But even when I helped her she wanted nothing to do with a bath.

I've heard it is a mystery why exactly Alzheimer's sufferers don't like the feel of water on their skin and don't want others to bath them. This from watching Teepa Snow videos.

Thank you for mentioning this article. I thought it was fascinating.

concerned_sister

Hi BassetHoundAnn,

I didn't realize it was also a tactile thing, that it was common that Alzheimer's sufferers don't like the feel of water on their skin. When I got to the sentences in the article that it was a multi-step task, that description set off bells in my mind. That feature of this disease had been a moment of recognition in my learning curve with DB. I'm glad you found the article fascinating as well.

AZGuy

Before Dementia my DW would bathe regularly and never did like showers. It was quite a while before she would bathe. I suggested it one day, told her I would help her, and almost fell over when she said yes. That was the easy part. The difficult part is her sensitivity. The water is either too hot or too cold. If she said it was too hot, I tried to cool the water off slightly then it was too cold and vise versa. I tried it with a shower and the same result. Are there bathing cloths (no idea what they are called) that are safe and effective to use on a PWD? For now it would be just cleaning the 'important areas' until I can get the bathing thing figured out.

concerned_sister

Yes, I think @ButterflyWings has posted about such.

concerned_sister

This popped up in my feed so I thought I'd share.

https://youtube.com/shorts/tuben45zmjg?si=JsZqAMHEzSryFtLp

Iris L.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/208140#Comment_208140

There are Adult Wipes for sale, also you can find videos on how to make DIY homemade wipes. These are like baby wipes.

Iris

ButterflyWings

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/208148#Comment_208148

It looks like I missed this the first time around. No idea what I was doing, but I've copied one of my prior comments below. Sorry so slow to contribute to this question! I will also come back (edit) to add one other prior thread that I found that I commented on. Both of those link to other great suggestions from forum mates. Hope it helps!

ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,693

 MemberJuly 2023 edited July 2023Options

My beloved is a long time bath/shower refuser. This after LOVING his daily shower for 60+ years. It was honestly like a switch flipped and suddenly the dementia club rules said STOP.

After many wild episodes of trying to overcome this, I finally threw in the towel so to speak. He has been very clean (for years!) with adult wipes and no rinse bath/shampoo products plus a very pure moisturizer lotion. I clean his nether parts after every single bathroom break, and I wipe down everything else daily. Head to toe. Usually it is easiest when he is toileting.

He typically smells better than me, looks and is fresh and clean, has no skin breakdown, and he (or Alz) won this one. I realized I just had to shift my brain about the obligatory shower or bath. It isn't really necessary. Keeping clean is, and that can be accomplished in many different ways.

Here is a thread from 2+ years ago, when I was exactly where you are, throwing out the lifeline to get advice! DH will not bathe or shower — ALZConnected