Whether to quit my job.

Dawn Loy

I am right now on fmla to be taking care of my dad. My question is the I’m 60 and the cost of paying someone will cost more that my salary per week. Don’t know whether to quit after fmla is over and just take care of dad myself. I have moved in with him last July.

concerned_sister

Can you provide more info on your dad's condition? Has he progressed to the point where Medicaid might help provide for his care? Was he ever in the military? Does he have assets that could pay for his care? These factors might affect what advice is right for you.

Jeanne C.

If you're able to get him on Medicaid, you may be able to get him a home health caregiver covered by insurance. If you haven't seen a certified elder law attorney (CELA) yet, it may be helpful. They will be able to help you navigate your state's longterm care Medicaid. All the best to you.

harshedbuzz

Two other factors to consider are the impact quitting now will have on your own retirement and if exiting the workplace will leave you further isolated.

mabelgirl

Lots of sound advice and considerations are mentioned. Think this over carefully and exhaust all avenues available to your dad for care. You have a future as well. Prayers for wisdom.

Hope5757

OP,

Are you able to obtain health care coverage without working?

If the answer is no - I don’t see how quitting to care for your parent is feasible.

M1

You can buy individual health insurance coverage through healthcare.gov if you lose employer coverage, but it's not cheap at 60. I did it, didn't qualify for any price subsidies and it was around $1200 per month.

Quilting brings calm

You aren’t old enough to collect social security yet. Any savings you have right now needs to remain in your account for you during your own retirement. There’s a good chance you will live into your 80s yourself. Therefore you need to continue to have an income due a few more years. If you won’t be immediately eligible for a pension big enough to support you without social security or withdrawing from retirement funds, then you can’t quit.

In addition, the cost of your dad’s care should not be paid for by you. This is a marathon, not a sprint and he could need care for a decade or more. If he can’t afford his own care, you need to investigate his eligibility for Medicaid or a low income supportive living facility.

I’m sorry - I know that wasn’t what you wanted to hear.

housefinch

I would really caution against quitting, because at 60, it’s difficult to get hired again later at the same level of salary and seniority. I’m sending you best wishes for figuring out this challenging situation 💕

H1235

I would recommend not quitting, but looking into other ways to get him the care he needs. Contact the local commission on aging for help. If you’re planning to be his full time caregiver you will be giving up way more than just a job (social life, hobbies etc.). We expect that caregiving will involve changing depend, preparing meals, help with shower, help dressing and that is tough. But if he becomes angry and difficult this will be very emotionally difficult. There are some nice AL facilities. The best place for a pwd is not always in the home with family. Interaction with different people, a reason to get dressed in the morning, activities, and independence with his own rooms.