I need help

Chami21

Hi I’m really having trouble coping with my mother.She’s been forgetting a lot lately and repeating herself. I try to remind her of something’s she can’t remember but she gets upset at me. I talk to my children about it and she gets angry because she doesn’t want everyone to no her business. I tell her that those are my children and the only people I have to talk to. But she doesn’t like it at all. I don’t know what to do. I need to educate myself on this matter so that I can learn how to deal with her. Can someone give me an advice please. I’m also an only child so this falls in my hands alone. I also have my own mental issues as well.

JeriLynn66

Welcome to here. Look to the right of your screen for "Groups". Click. There is information and tips under "New Caregivers" put together by a member here @Jeanne C. .

Others will be along to chime in. You've come to a good place of a wide group of people with lots of experience and wisdom. Everyone here is on the journey and is eager to help.

concerned_sister

Here's the link:

https://alzconnected.org/group/32-new-caregiver-help

mabelgirl

oh boy does sound a bit like mine. She is diagnosed with dementia but doesn’t think there is anything wrong with her (look up anosognosia) . She constantly gets angry if I inform my sisters of any little thing as it is none of their d*** business.
You sound like your journey may just be beginning. You’ll need to get her diagnosed to be a bit clearer on what you’re dealing with as some medications may help her. You should also take the opportunity now to get legalities in order (durable POA) for both medical and financial reasons. My mom didn’t have this in place when she came to live with me 10 months ago. At that time she would have been amenable to it but just 3 months later she started to decline and has gotten very mean and angry with me. Thank goodness my sister was able to get her to sign one for her. Withou DPOA you’ll find things more difficult to manage for her.

Also find your local area agency or elder affairs to see what programs may be available to you and your mom. By all means do what you need to do to take care of yourself mentally and physically. I am still working on just doing what I know must be done versus listening to my mom. It’s funny how at my age I think I still want to please my mom!

Anonymousjpl123

the best advice I have is to call the Alzheimer’s hotline. I say this all the time because when I was where you are, and just realizing the magnitude of it, I did and it really, really, really helped.

There are concrete things you can start doing (legal, financial, etc.) and also preparing for what’s to come. Education is your friend: the more you learn, the better prepared and equipped you will feel.