Sun upper versus Sun downer

mabelgirl

My mom wakes up yelling at me about her bank account and that I need to stop stealing from her. She does this nearly every morning, sometimes before her feet hit the ground. It takes her a hot minute to calm down but doesn’t really let go of it until later in the day. She no longer seems to grasp the fact that her online activity shows no withdrawal. She has to insist on going to the bank as she believes I manipulate her iPad because the numbers don’t change day to day (good grief). Luckily she’ll either forget about the bank or simply refuse to go out.

I’ve read about sun downing, which she doesn’t seem to do. Do others display this type of behavior first thing in the morning?

Quilting brings calm

yes. My mom exhibited sundowning behaviors in the morning. we have her on sertraline and mirtrazipine. That combination took care of it for her- so far.

M1

would agree that she probably would benefit from medication. Agitation and paranoia are pretty common symptoms at any time of day.

mabelgirl

I should have mentioned she’s already on meds for her agitation/hallucinations that were keeping us up all hours of the night. Will talk to doctor though. Thanks

Anonymousjpl123

my mom went through a phase of about a year like this, very paranoid and upset about money. I have seen this a lot in posts here. I think it must be scary to not know what’s going on with your life - not understanding money or time. Like you, I showed mom her bank accounts every day. It helped. Eventually this stopped as the disease progressed and she moved onto other things.

mrsabaldwin

Despite what books say as well as the neurologist, my mom’s primary care doctor explained that mom sundowns from about midnight to 6:00 am because that was her awake/sleep pattern for decades. Further, he says it would be impossible to change now. And believe me, I have tried. Even Seroquel only slows her down and does not cause her to sleep.

Mom lived decades with sleeping and eating whenever she wanted. I remember as a child (and I’m 57 now) she would be awake all hours of the night then go to bed and my dad would wake us up for school.

Mom also went through a period of financial paranoia but it’s settled down now. She even went so far as to hint that my kitchen remodel was funded by her money. I told her that was absolutely untrue. My DH and I have worked really hard for what we have and actually did a lot of the remodel ourselves. In the stage she is in now, she does not remember any of that and tends to stay in the past most of the time.

I know it sounds almost sad but I do hope this phase passes for her soon. It is awful when they are afraid like that. And it’s awful to be continually accused even if one knows that they can’t help it.

Lynn24

Hi Mrs B, I am also 57 years old and my mother is 79. At night she takes 125 mg seroquel before bed, however I give her melatonin gummy bears, 10 mg along with seroquel, to help her sleep 7 to 8 hours.

Her sleep patterns for years are very similar to your mother’s, and she never really got quality restorative sleep from early adulthood, so it was a long journey to find a medication to help her sleep.

scoutmom405

Yes I can relate to this. It was tough for about 10 months. The 2 things my FIL was obsessed over was bank statements he couldn't comprehend anymore & going to the DMV to get his drivers license. We were the bad guys on days redirecting didn't work.

My therapist taught me to walk away when he was sundowning hard over these things. It helps. Seroquel has also helped with his agitation.

His sundowning can happen any time of the day or night. Night usually involves rummaging through his things. We got him a cubby bolted to the wall with those soft bins. He used to physically truly to move heavy furniture during his night sundowning. Heavy dresser is gone. Hospital bed & night stand anchored to the wall.

mrsabaldwin

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210404#Comment_210404

i am so glad that works for your mom! Melatonin does not phase my mom though. I’m definitely bringing this up to the neurologist but mom’s PCP is pretty adamant that nothing will work. We will see!

mabelgirl

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210403#Comment_210403

That may be it as she’s always been an early riser. However these days with the serequol and melatonin she is thankfully now sleeping through the night and sometimes doesn’t wake until 9 or 10 in the morning.

I certainly feel the weariness from all her accusations of stealing her money, only having her in my house to get her imagined fortune, etc … It is nonstop with her. So we’re kindred in that regard.

mabelgirl

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210416#Comment_210416

I was glad to read your therapist advised to walk away, because I have been doing that when I feel I will blow up at her. I was feeling guilty because I felt I wasn’t helping her calm down and to get out of such a state of agitation. I concluded she was like a 2 yr old having a tantrum and it always worked with 2 yr olds to walk away!