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DW Waking up 3 AM
First time on this Forum. Some background my wife was diagnosed with EO Alzheimer when she was 58. Now 6 years later she has lost her ability to communicate, self care, and starting to have trouble walking. I am her sole caregiver (married 38 yr) and basically have to do everything like feeding, bathing, dressing.and…
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End of life?
Me and my brother are both helping to care for my grandad, my nan too and he has carers come in multiple times a day because it's a lot for us to deal with. He's recently stopped breathing, or struggled breathing every day for the last 7-10 days. Breaths every 30-40 seconds and in a lot of pain, he's had care come out for…
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Mom has auditory hallucinations need help
My 96 year old mom has alzheimers and recently has been having auditory hallucinations - she hears the same part of a song over and over ( i can't id the song). this started about 6 weeks ago for 1 day, then again a month later the 14 days later and then 4 days later. it really upsets her. she thinks its coming from a…
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I’m so lost - mother is 90, English is a second language
I am so lost. My father recently passed away - somewhat unexpectedly - and, as an only child, am left to care for my 90 year old mother. I had not realized just how bad her short-term memory loss had gotten (dad never said) and I suspect she has onset dementia, She refuses to talk to a doctor or anyone about her mental…
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Hallucinations and Delusional Thoughts
Our father has been suffering from hallucinations and delusional thoughts for several years. Now, it has reached its peak, with him talking to someone he claims is "Alice." He has been having full conversations with her, waking up with remarks like, "Wow! That's weird," "Hello?!?, who's there?," and "Wow, wow, wow." He…
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help with anger and corrections
I'm 52 female, my DW is 66, recently diagnosed. We are in early stages of this journey - not a lot of memory issues, but trouble figuring out how to open doors, remembering to eat, figuring out how things work like showers, clothes, etc. I have a lot to learn, but would love some pointers on what to do about the anger -…
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Talking about someone in the 3rd person while speaking to them
We suspect my 89-year-old mother is progressing from early- to mid-stage dementia but don't have a diagnosis yet. Recently, there have been a couple of instances where she's referred to the person she's speaking to in the third person. Like telling her granddaughter, Lauren, about "the basket that Lauren made" or telling…
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Defusing unkind behavior
My mom has Alzheimer’s my father is her caregiver. They live in DE, I am in NJ. For several months she’s been annoyed at my husband and i think it’s because she misses me. He is always kind to her and even physically helps her in person. Whatever the reason, she’s just not kind when I mention him. I try not to react to…
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Bed bound & aggressive -looking for advice
I'm new here and looking for advice. A little background -I help care for my 84 year old father. He has late stage Alzheimer's, bed bound and completely dependent for care. Communication is difficult as his eyesight and hearing are poor and his ability to speak coherently is mostly gone. We are having a terrible time with…
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Whom do I believe? My Mom or the caretaker?
Hi Everyone! I'm new to this community. This is my first post. My Dad passed away last fall and I had to take over as my Mom's caretaker. She has dementia and I am her POA and only living relative who is able and willing to take care of her. I have been very overwhelmed taking care of my Mom since my Dad died, especially…
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Needing to move mother to memory care
92 yo mother has been in assisted living for 18 months. Over the last year she has had more episodes of confusion and disordered sleep. She often refuses to dress for bed and will wander the hallway at night - we have an upcoming care meeting and I expect that they will say she needs to move to the memory care unit. We…
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My grandfather sudden change
Hello, my grandfather,87, has been slowly losing his memory and in more recent months it’s progressed to not remembering what’s happened that day or who visited. I go over to my grandparents house for a couple of hours once a week to stay connected to them. But today as I was visiting, I noticed a change in his behavior.…
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My journey so far
Here’s my story. About 2 years ago I began to notice changes in my husband’s memory and behavior. We were big outdoor enthusiasts, travelers and longtime birders and my husband loved photography. He began to complain about his binoculars and camera, they were not working he said and replaced them. I discovered he wasn’t…
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PWD needs to go into AL, says she wants to, but won't cooperate.
I have DPOA, and I'm my PWD's only remaining kin. Once a very prim and proper woman, she now yells verbal abuse at me regularly and even curses sometimes - completely opposite her former behavior. We had toured a facility last year, and first she said she liked it, then later she said absolutely not. Recently, she's been…
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New here, looking for support
My mom has been on a steady cognitive decline over the past 2 years after a big fall and some medications she was placed on. We have not been given the diagnosis of Dementia due to the fact that she will not get tested and gets extremely angry when it is suggested. (She has always had anger issues and does not let anyone…
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UTI Test for Incontinent?
Hello. Is there any way a nursing home can test a patient who has Alzheimer's and is incontinent? My mom is 87, and recently, her agitation and combativeness have continued to escalate. She is hitting, biting, scratching, screaming, and, as they said, "speaking in tongues." She sleeps mainly all day and does not eat as…
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DW recently put in MC facility
My DW is 82 , and has middle stage Alzheimer's. After being a 24/7 caregiver for 2 years, I had to place her because I just couldn't do it anymore. She has been there for 3 months now. I visit her often, and she knows who I am and that we are married. However, she seems to be attracted to several men in the facility, and…
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Arguments that seem impossible to stop
Hi, alright I am new on this and taking care of my 72 year old mother. Are there any simple ways to get a person with dementia to stop arguing? Once my mother gets mad it seems impossible to get her to even attempt to think of something different. She likes to just make it seem like I have ruined her entire life and no…
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Put Mom in MC - Feeling Guilty
Yesterday I pur my 89 year old Mother in MC. I am feeling so guilty, like I failed her. I got her there under the guise of meeting a friend, then I just left her. I had ask the staff while preparing her room about leaving phones and tablets for her, they said leave it. Last evening my mom start posting things on Facebook…
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Dad removes depends during night
Hi, I am new to this. My father is dealing with dementia. He's 80 years old. My mom is 82. I live here with them. What's brought me here is that I'm looking for any suggestions. My dad, during the night is removing his Depends briefs. This is something new as of this week. They will be on the floor or nightstand. My mom is…
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Obsessed with thinking the internet company is "Stealing"
Does anyone else have to do this or just our family?
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My Dad has gotten aggressive and totally opposite of how he used to be
I know so many are dealing with this horrible disease and know it is a struggle!! I stay with my parents to help my mom with my Dad and she doesnt have the best health herself and I am also a single mom to a 10 yr old boy. I feel as if I am trying to carry the world on my shoulders as between work and taking care of…
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Getting my mom to her doctor appointment
I made my mom a Neurology appointment on 1/13. My dad is worried that if she finds out she'll have a total breakdown. So far she doesn't seem to have gotten any notifications about it, but she likely will get a text and/or email reminder for it. If we can even make it to the appointment day without her finding out and…
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Dealing with addiction
Hello all, I'm new to this community so I'm not sure on the etiquette but I desperately need help. I recently had to take on the caregiver role for my grandfather. It's mostly okay I'm learning to handle all kinds of things I never knew I could do but I am struggling to deal with his addictions. He drinks and smokes…
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Checking the weather repeatedly
Our father frequently turns on the Weather Channel throughout the day and night. He runs to the door, looks outside, and returns to his room to turn on YouTube and watch animal videos. Six/Seven times a day now. We imagine this is possibly to ensure the Weather Channel isn't lying to him. This cycle repeats several times a…
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Calling to shut off utilities
Our father has developed a belief that the utility bills are "stealing" his money, leading him to make phone calls to PG&E and Earthlink, demanding his money and requesting them to close his accounts. Fortunately, we have successfully established contact with the companies to prevent any potential disruptions in service so…
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This is fine....
Whenever our fathers leaves the room for a bathroom visit or a walk we check his room and photo everything.
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Apparently dementia can cause Grinchiness
DH took down the Christmas tree I put up last week while I was in the shower. He had been complaining about it being up. He took it off the table and put it by the back door. It was a small fake tree. I am so thankful that none of our beautiful ornaments were broken. I put the tree away but left some ornaments out and hung…
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Breaking Appliances
My father has developed a tendency to break appliances in our home, adding a new layer of complexity to our responsibilities. Over time, he has managed to break the washing machine, dryer, oven, and now the refrigerator, which is barely functioning due to the damage. We have been left to find alternative solutions for…
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Lack of Showering
Our father has been going for extended periods without showering or changing his clothes (40 days at a time), which has led to skin lesions. He has incontinence-related issues too. These challenges can be difficult to address, especially when faced with the limitations set by authorities who claim our father has…