Caregiver to husband with Alzheimers

Hawkypuck

3 or 4 or more times a day my LO is so worried about his money and he wants to know how much he has in the bank so he can go get a drink. What can I do or say without being so frustrated to change the direction of the conversation?

M1

welcome to the forum. You probably can’t. Repetitive questions are part of the disease and can be very frustrating to the caregiver. Fixation on money is also really common. It may or may not be possible to redirect him to another topic.
to learn about dementia, there’s a good book called The 36 Hour Day. Also if you look to the right of this page under Quick Links and Groups, there’s a group for new members with a lot of good information including another quick read called “Understanding the Dementia Experience.” These may help you.

is he going for drinks? The mixture of dementia and alcohol can be really toxic. Hopefully you can control his access, but this can be quite difficult. There are a number of posts here on similar topics. If you read a lot of threads, you can learn a lot. You’ve come to a good place for advice and support.

ButterflyWings

https://www.verywellhealth.com/using-validation-therapy-for-people-with-dementia-98683

Click on the link above for this important approach to validate their feelings before redirecting and distracting. The late Naomi Feil developed this compassionate therapy technique and there are videos available.

Below is a powerpoint format with a few slides that summarize the theory, why, and how to use it.

https://www.txalz.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/UsingValidationAndReminiscenceToSupportPeopleLivingWithDementia.pdf?x23764

Iris L.

Thanks for posting this education, BW.

Iris

ButterflyWings

My pleasure. I learned about it here, and it has helped so much!

Jeanne C.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/212981#Comment_212981

Adding link to new caregivers group.

Jeanne C.

Like M1 said, it's very common. Great reading suggestions have been provided. The one thing I would add is around patience. It's hard to hear the same questions over and over. The mantra I say to myself to help is "he's not giving you a hard time; he's having a hard time." All the best to you.