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Caregiver to husband with Alzheimers

Hawkypuck
Hawkypuck Member Posts: 1 Member
in I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)

3 or 4 or more times a day my LO is so worried about his money and he wants to know how much he has in the bank so he can go get a drink. What can I do or say without being so frustrated to change the direction of the conversation?

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    welcome to the forum. You probably can’t. Repetitive questions are part of the disease and can be very frustrating to the caregiver. Fixation on money is also really common. It may or may not be possible to redirect him to another topic.
    to learn about dementia, there’s a good book called The 36 Hour Day. Also if you look to the right of this page under Quick Links and Groups, there’s a group for new members with a lot of good information including another quick read called “Understanding the Dementia Experience.” These may help you.

    is he going for drinks? The mixture of dementia and alcohol can be really toxic. Hopefully you can control his access, but this can be quite difficult. There are a number of posts here on similar topics. If you read a lot of threads, you can learn a lot. You’ve come to a good place for advice and support.

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,752
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    https://www.verywellhealth.com/using-validation-therapy-for-people-with-dementia-98683

    Click on the link above for this important approach to validate their feelings before redirecting and distracting. The late Naomi Feil developed this compassionate therapy technique and there are videos available.

    Below is a powerpoint format with a few slides that summarize the theory, why, and how to use it.

    https://www.txalz.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/UsingValidationAndReminiscenceToSupportPeopleLivingWithDementia.pdf?x23764

  • Iris L.
    Iris L. Member Posts: 4,414
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    Thanks for posting this education, BW.

    Iris

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,752
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    My pleasure. I learned about it here, and it has helped so much!

  • Jeanne C.
    Jeanne C. Member Posts: 827
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/212981#Comment_212981

    Adding link to new caregivers group.

  • Jeanne C.
    Jeanne C. Member Posts: 827
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    Like M1 said, it's very common. Great reading suggestions have been provided. The one thing I would add is around patience. It's hard to hear the same questions over and over. The mantra I say to myself to help is "he's not giving you a hard time; he's having a hard time." All the best to you.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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