How do I handle the pets?

holland3m

Hi, I’m new here.
My husband and our 3 small kids moved in to help take care of his mother 3 years ago. She has dementia, suspected to be Alzheimer’s, and she had a stroke last year. Recently we have see a big decline in her ability to take care of herself and her pets. She maintained a lot of autonomy at first. With cues she was able to bathe regularly and feed her dogs. She obsesses over dog feeding now. She is frustrated with the pill case we use to set out the dog’s medication, and is demanding we get something different because it’s too confusing. I help with the feeding in the morning, and check In around the time she is supposed to feed at night. She has started feeding him at random times throughout the day as well, and then at dinner time I see the pills are gone, and know he’s already been fed, but she argues about it and is so frustrated that she can’t do this anymore. Does anyone have a system that worked to allow their loved one to retain their independence (or perceived independence) around their care of pets? I’m pulled in so many different directions with 3 kids to care for too that I can’t monitor her full time and our part time caregiver isn’t there during those times, and has been very inconsistent in actually showing up.

SusanB-dil

Hi holland3m - Welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason. I'm sorry you are dealing with all of that.

I cannot speak for dog ownership, but what we often have our hands full with MIL and her cat. Her cat is not on any meds. What we did is put one daily food supply in a jar. She can feed at will without going over cat's food limit.

It sounds like there may be more than one dog? Hide the pill case. If the dogs get one med a day, it may have to be at your morning feeding, perhaps? Or hide it 'til evening feeding?

Please do NOT argue with a PWD. It will only get both of you more frustrated (than you already are)

Unfortunately, some caregivers are not responsible enough to show up as scheduled. Is there a back-up plan, or time to consider another caregiver? Maybe make sure the times they are supposed to be there is also the time to care for the dogs, and you'd probably have to be sure to include that in any job-plan as an extra.

If worse comes to worse, safety is the driving factor. If the dogs are at risk, and it is just too much for all concerned, I hate it, too, but one or more may need another home?