I guess it's really time

easy23

My husband has FTD with delusions and hallucintaions. He thinks I'm different people throughout the day. He is disoriented and never knows where he is. Several times a week he wants to ride around in the car to go "home" or to the office. Twice last week we rode around for hours until he finally got tired and agreed to go to "my house." The other night he took a bath because "they" told him to. DH got stuck in the tub and it took 1/2 hour to get him out.

A year ago I took him to the ER for agitation. They told me to place him. I said I wasn't ready. His PCP told me to place him 6 months ago. I said I wasn't ready. Now his geripsych has said it's time. Why is it so damn hard to do what the professionals are saying to do? I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me. It's all up to me now and it's a tough one to go alone.

tryingtodurvive

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70153/i-guess-its-really-time

I feel like I’m in a similar situation. I’m in the process of placing my DH this week. We’re getting through final arrangements for his move in. I’m so sick I feel like I can’t breath but I’ve prayed on this so much and am at peace. I pray you’ll find the same peace in making your decision. No matter what professionals say it’s ultimately something you have to decide.

easy23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/218094#Comment_218094

Good for you! I'm glad I'm not the only one that feel's like they can't breathe. Best of luck to you this week!

M1

best of luck to both of you. Having been in your shoes let me reassure you that placement is not a personal or moral failure on your part. It’s getting the help you need-both of you.

Quilting brings calm

it’s hard because you feel like you are doing something TO him by placing him when you will actually be doing something FOR him. It’s hard because you feel guilty that placing him may make your life easier. It may, but there will be other challenges. It’s hard because everything takes so much effort right now and you have no inner strength left to make efforts.

Denise1847

I am so sorry. This disease robs both the PWD and the caregiver. I feel your pain. My DH is getting worse and I pray God takes him before I have to place him. I just have in my mind about his childhood. He was a foster child who was shuffled around the family until he landed in a foster home. I feel like placing him will be like having his life end with the same ugly scene as the childhood shuffle. It is not logical. Listen to the experience of these wise people. They have been through this.

SDianeL

I know exactly how you feel. I had planned on keeping my husband home and caring for him as long as I was physically able. Unfortunately last December I was diagnosed with aggressive cancer and had to immediately find a place and have him admitted. It broke my heart. I moved him to a VA facility and he's getting great care there. In my opinion, if Geri Psyche says it's time I would listen to them. As my DH's agitation & aggression escalated they manage his medications and keep him calm so they can care for him. It's hard because you care. You will still be his caregiver just in a different capacity. You will get some well deserved rest. You can go visit and make sure he's being well cared for. Praying for your strength. Keep us posted.