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I guess it's really time

easy23
easy23 Member Posts: 212
Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Care Reactions 25 Likes
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My husband has FTD with delusions and hallucintaions. He thinks I'm different people throughout the day. He is disoriented and never knows where he is. Several times a week he wants to ride around in the car to go "home" or to the office. Twice last week we rode around for hours until he finally got tired and agreed to go to "my house." The other night he took a bath because "they" told him to. DH got stuck in the tub and it took 1/2 hour to get him out.

A year ago I took him to the ER for agitation. They told me to place him. I said I wasn't ready. His PCP told me to place him 6 months ago. I said I wasn't ready. Now his geripsych has said it's time. Why is it so damn hard to do what the professionals are saying to do? I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me. It's all up to me now and it's a tough one to go alone.

Comments

  • tryingtodurvive
    tryingtodurvive Member Posts: 48
    100 Care Reactions 25 Likes 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70153/i-guess-its-really-time

    I feel like I’m in a similar situation. I’m in the process of placing my DH this week. We’re getting through final arrangements for his move in. I’m so sick I feel like I can’t breath but I’ve prayed on this so much and am at peace. I pray you’ll find the same peace in making your decision. No matter what professionals say it’s ultimately something you have to decide.

  • easy23
    easy23 Member Posts: 212
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Care Reactions 25 Likes
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/218094#Comment_218094

    Good for you! I'm glad I'm not the only one that feel's like they can't breathe. Best of luck to you this week!

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
    1,500 Care Reactions 1,500 Likes 5000 Comments 1,000 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    best of luck to both of you. Having been in your shoes let me reassure you that placement is not a personal or moral failure on your part. It’s getting the help you need-both of you.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 967
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    I know exactly how you feel. I had planned on keeping my husband home and caring for him as long as I was physically able. Unfortunately last December I was diagnosed with aggressive cancer and had to immediately find a place and have him admitted. It broke my heart. I moved him to a VA facility and he's getting great care there. In my opinion, if Geri Psyche says it's time I would listen to them. As my DH's agitation & aggression escalated they manage his medications and keep him calm so they can care for him. It's hard because you care. You will still be his caregiver just in a different capacity. You will get some well deserved rest. You can go visit and make sure he's being well cared for. Praying for your strength. Keep us posted.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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