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Elopement and MC Assessment

easy23
easy23 Member Posts: 220
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My DH had a MC assessment today and things were going ok until the elopement question. Does your DH wander? I told the truth that occasionally he wanders (with me following him). I told them that DH wandered last week at night. They asked if I was able to bring him home and I told them I had to call the police for an ambulance to the ER. That was a major concern to the MC director. They don't have Wanderguard for the MC residents and they have doors that can be opened with keypads. I am waiting to hear from the MC but now I am wary. What should I be looking for as far as security?

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  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,578
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    @easy23

    That seems odd. At dad's MCF, they had 2 keypad operated locks. There was one used to enter or exit the building lobby and another to enter or exist the secure unit. On the off chance a resident could get into the lobby behind someone leaving, they'd be stopped before leaving the building. On the MC side, the door was not framed and had a busy mural of a garden painted continuing across the wall and door to camouflage it. Fire doors to the outside had large stop signs and were alarmed. The staff tries to place known elopement risks in rooms with windows that overlook the walled courtyard area.

    There was one facility where I live that doesn't have a locked unit. I'm told it has something to do with Quakerism although the other Quaker facility in town is keypad protected. The first place has the unit set up so that a resident would have to get past 2 other unit nursing stations and security guard who checks folks into the building. They say this is sufficient and that they would just redirect a resident.

    Hb

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,557
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    One of the reasons to place someone in MC is because they wander. Therefore MCs are locked in units with keypads and alarms if the code is not entered.

    I suppose it’s possible that they were asking to determine what hallway he needed to be moved into/ the level of needed care to decide the fee.

  • easy23
    easy23 Member Posts: 220
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    You're right. They called and moved him to the second floor. The other room was on the first floor near the dining hall and exit to the lobby.

  • Dunno
    Dunno Member Posts: 60
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    edited August 15

    thisis a long story so be warned :)

    My wife found her key fob, got into the car she hadn't driven in two years, and took off with the dog. I followed her in my truck and called 911. Sheriff's cars eventually boxed her in and stopped her.

    She was taken by ambulance to the ER and treated for a severe UTI.

    Incidentally, her delusions, hallucinations, and overall behavior had become noticeably more aggressive in the last two to three weeks.

    Since last Wednesday, she's been in the hospital with a full-time sitter.

    I contacted the assisted living facility to see if they had any openings. They informed me that a two-room suite was available in assisted living (not memory care) today.

    I went there and paid a $6,500 monthly fee. They explained that additional charges would apply based on her specific care needs (rated 1, 2, 3, or 4, with 4 being the highest at an additional $1,600 per month). They also mentioned that their nurse would visit the hospital to assess her.

    When I returned to finalize the arrangements, they not only returned my check for the suite but also the waitlist deposit. They stated that she required placement in a skilled nursing facility due to her flight risk and could not accept her.

    I've been working with the hospital's caseworker to find a suitable place for her.

    Today, I visited a nursing home. For $8,500 per month, they offered a shared room with a bathroom shared by another shared room, meaning four people would share the same bathroom. We sat down in the administrator's office, and they pulled up my wife's file. It listed her diagnosis as Lewy body dementia with flight risk. The administrator explained they couldn't accept her due to the flight risk and liability associated with such patients. They advised me to find a skilled nursing facility with a secure "lockdown" unit.

    By the way, my wife can't use a TV remote, a cell phone, or a toaster. How on earth she can start and drive a car without crashing is beyond me!

  • easy23
    easy23 Member Posts: 220
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    I also called a nursing home for a tour. They didn't want me to bother since they only used Wander Guard bracelets and didn't have a locked dementia wing.

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,755
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    I do understand though it is frustrating for you I’m sure. But if they are like my DH was, his elopement risk was constant. Any time of the day or night, if he was awake he was walking out the door or trying to get dressed to do so.

    I was his personal 1 on 1 aide, to keep him from wandering and it didn’t always work. No facility is able to dedicate a full-time staffer to a single flight risk resident around the clock every shift. And the liability if they don’t, is unimaginable. And they aren’t supposed to chemically restrain our LOs, which would only have made my DH more of a fall risk while he was trying to elope. Because he was still going to attempt to go to work. No matter what.

  • Dunno
    Dunno Member Posts: 60
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    I've been toying with a combination of visiting angel and hospice. The idea of paying $8,500 a month for a shared room, and with three others for the bathroom, along with the possibility of inadequate care. i cant do that.

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,755
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    In home hospice has been a godsend for us. And a revolving door of HHA’s I’m sorry to say, but I’m still hopeful this aide is the one that will stay, be reliable, and bring a little bit of joy to my DH when she can.

  • Dunno
    Dunno Member Posts: 60
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    It's encouraging to hear you say hospice is a godsend ButterflyWings. What are HHAs?"

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,755
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    edited August 15

    Home Health Aide. We are on our 3rd agency in as many years and I’ve lost count of how many aides we have tried (and trained, however briefly).

    They don’t get paid enough so the bar is low for calling off work or just not delivering on all the agency promises. I’m to the point that if they show up, keep DH clean and safe, and don’t rob us I’ll be happy.

    The “no call, no shows” almost put me over the edge a while back. I was trying to maintain a full-time job and it was super stressful not knowing if the caregiver would be there or not!

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 452
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  • elainechem
    elainechem Member Posts: 175
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    My late husband was an elopement risk. I couldn't afford to place him, so I changed the deadbolt locks on the doors so that you needed a key to get out. He didn't have the key. It worked. I kept him at home until he died. I did have a paid caregiver who came in a few hours a day several days a week so that I could get away.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,578
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    The Angels that own the agency are going to keep half of that. Your Visiting Angel will only get $17.50 gross pay/hour.

    HB

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more