Does DH really have AD? He seems so normal.

Maru

DH has seen the neurologist and had brain scan, EEG, verbal and visual test and has been Wdiagonosed with AD, but 99% of the time he seems so normal. I begin to feel like I made a mountain out of a mole hill. For years, he has been saying, " Oh, you know what I mean."

About a month ago, he peed all over the bathroom floor twice in a week, but not since then. Could he just have been too sleepy to notice? When he called our great grandchildren our nephews and nieces, was that just a slip of the tongue? When he uses the wrong word, am I just being too literal?

I could go on. Everything is episodic…every now and then. Is this normal? I question my own sanity.

Jgirl57

That is the wonky thing about AD and dementia. I think someone once described it as a light bulb with a loose connection. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. For us, the time in between episodes got closer and closer together . It is indeed a mountain and not a mole hill.

ronda b

I have that feeling at times. Then something happens, last night I found his top sheet crumpled up in the bathroom dry, and I realize it's still here. Those times are great when everything appears normal. Enjoy them while they are there.

M1

I think it's a natural instinct to hope for the best, to want to deny, to plead that no, don't let this be happening to my loved one. And it is at times so slow, and there are flickers of the former person….wishful thinking that it won't progress. It's a hard lesson to accept the good moments when they occur and not ignore the grim reality in front of you. And every person is different—-so it sounds like your DH had word-finding difficulty as an early symptom. But the incontinence episode is quite real; that's how it starts, it's intermittent at first before it becomes continuous. And the misplacing relatives…I never would have believed that my partner could have forgotten my children, whom she has known since they were two and four (now both in their thirties). But she has. And she forgets her own career, that we ever lived together, or that we've been together for 30 years. It's eerie when your own history starts to disappear. Unfortunately the reality will present itself, sooner or later. Hang in there.

SDianeL

yes it’s normal for them. I called my husband’s doctor for testing when he asked what my daughter’s relationship was to her brother. We had been married 34 years! Then he stopped being able to find words. He no longer liked certain foods he always liked before. He couldn’t think of the word for banana to go in his cereal. Then one day he asked how did we meet. I cried. I told him I had cancer and he said “what’s cancer?” 😢 Those things will happen more frequently and will be gut punches. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which really helped me after my husband’s diagnosis. This is the place to come for info & support. So sorry you are going through this.

Nowhere

Questioning your own sanity is definitely part of the journey. This disease takes everything and turns it upside down and inside out. It’s like falling into Alice’s rabbit hole for both. My husband, in advanced dementia, will still sometimes come up with a higher level thinking remark, but usually he’s quiet. There is a line in the progression of the disease that I believe all carers step over, on one side of the line we struggle to help keep our loved one in our reality and on the other side we let go of the struggle and find a way to enter their reality. Getting used to and over that line is tremendously challenging! We all deserve gold medals!🏅 Wishing you peace.

CindyBum

It is totally normal in the early stages to question your sanity, but it's also, imo, a part of the denial we all go through in those early stages — Maybe this isn't really happening? Maybe it isn't real?

It will take a while to take it all in and there will be a quite a time where you retain that hope and denial. And, like the others have said, early stages will still have moments when they seem just fine.

If you are able at all, enjoy this time as much as you possibly can. Take that trip. Go out to great dinners with your DH. Enjoy concerts, plays or the opera. Because if it really is dementia, those will no longer be possible at some point.

xoxo

ricardo

I have early AD and generally feel quite normal. I have moments but they’re few and far between

jsps139_

Maru …. My husband is in year 10, and it’s only in the last year that people understand that he has Alzheimer’s. He always acted normal in front of everyone but me, and I always felt a little crazy as I was trying to convince family that he had Alzheimer’’s. I don’t think anyone believed me. But, now everyone that spends more than 5 minutes with him knows he has Alzheimer’s. It can be a very long road in certain stages. But, it eventually becomes evident to everyone. Enjoy the time together now, and don’t try to convince others to accept his diagnosis like I did. Spend time on this forum often. It’s a comfort to talk with people that understand.

Maru

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/221814#Comment_221814

You are right about this forum being a omfort. Two of our children live close by and they have spent enough time to see the slip ups if they are watching. The other 3 kids live too far for frequent visits and when they come, at least so far, he has been"normal". I am sending out periodic emails to keep them posted on his progress. They want to know, but I cannot share with them my personal angst, these feelings that I've fallen into , as someone said, down Alice's rabbit hole, and wondering which pill will I have to take today.

Thanks for your insights.