Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

Stage 8 fast approaching

I’m sitting in hospice days away from DH passing. I’ve been here for over 2 weeks staying in his room because of his special needs. Feeling I don’t want to go home afterwards, don’t want to sleep in our bed, or go to places we were always in together. I don’t want to stay with friends. I may go to a hotel for a few nights. I don’t know if it’s crazy to be this way, but it seems impossible for me to go home right away. I welcome any advice on how to handle this.

Comments

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 967
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Is there family you can visit? If not, exactly as you describe. Allow yourself time to grieve. Praying for you. 🙏❤️

  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,745
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Likes 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    What a kind nephew and blessing.

  • Joe C.
    Joe C. Member Posts: 964
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Petra, I sorry you have reached this stage in the journey. I think your feeling are completely normal. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and plans.

  • Denise1847
    Denise1847 Member Posts: 852
    500 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Dear Petra, I am so sorry. I pray for you peace to come, for the day that you can be free of the pain you are experiencing. You are so very normal. My DH is still with me but not (the disease has taken him a while ago). I grieve now for what is to come and I am not even where you are. For whatever it is worth, I am trying to draw on the strength that got me through other painful losses. I got through them and I know I just have to be patient in the midst of this horrible experience. I hope this thought helps.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 315
    100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    My DW is still quite a way from stage 8 but I have begun to think about my life in that stage. I have thought about moving out of our bedroom after she dies because it won't seem right sleeping in our bed without her. She has been my girlfriend since I was 20 years old. It will be a tremendous void when she dies.

  • ghphotog
    ghphotog Member Posts: 674
    500 Care Reactions 500 Comments 100 Likes Second Anniversary
    Member

    It's so difficult and we all try to cope the best way we know how. I hope it's peaceful and at some point after I also hope you can find your inspiration in life again.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 967
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
  • Jazzma
    Jazzma Member Posts: 112
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes
    Member

    Sending you warmth and wishing you the most peaceful transition possible.

  • housefinch
    housefinch Member Posts: 394
    100 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
    Member

    Sending you strength and comfort in the coming days.

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,874
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 500 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    thinking of you…

  • sherryandwilliam
    sherryandwilliam Member Posts: 41
    25 Likes 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    So sorry. I am glad family is coming to support you

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more