DH now stage 6

Lkrielow99

my DH is now stage six.  I’m exhausted physically and mentally.  He hallucinates, delusional, wanders, paranoid, agitated and confused.  The speech is so bad.  He can say a word and make a somewhat sentence but cannot put two sentences together to make a thought.  He sometimes thinks his children are small.   He asked me to tell him their names and where they are.   He wants to see them but they won’t come. He wets and poos without a thought.  I can no longer handle being a caregiver, wife, doggy mom, maintenance director, social director, previous travel director, chief cook, and psychiatrist.  I am also working seasonal as a CPA.  He wandered down the street to the highway and I picked him up.  After bringing to the ER, the doctor said he needed to see a geriatric psychiatrist.  The quickest way was through admiting him to the psyche unit.  Psychiatrist and staff says he needs to be in a home.  He is still in psyche hospital and now waiting transfer to the VA Home.  His grown children are MIA and no Cavalry is coming to help. I live in his home town and my friends are a hour away.  I feel guilty that I can’t continue.  I hate it has taken 2 weeks to move him out of the hospital.  I hate that his son said he would make travel plans in a few weeks. Which he won’t. I think he will be a complete shell in about 3-6 months and pass within 18 months.  But, when I make plans, the universe laughs.  I thought we had more time but this is moving quickly.  I’m not complaining, I just wasn’t prepared.  I am also over the top grieving.  I’m having a hard time processing the pain.  I’ve lost my best friend, my flying partner, my CPA partner, my movie goer, and my sole mate.  I see him everyday and kiss and hug and listen to his rambling.  He cries and I console and when he calms down I play silly to make him laugh. I miss my friend.  This  is not High Water, this is Hell.  

allit

I thank you for sharing your feelings. I wish I had words to help you feel better. I hope that placement of your DH goes well and that it will give you some space to take care of yourself.

CindyBum

This disease is so mean. So damn mean.

You have done so much for your DH, your soul mate. You've made his journey as smooth as you can make it and given him so much love. I know I'll feel guilty when my DW moves from Stage 5 to 6 and I'll have to make the excruciating decision you've had to make. For him, once again, you've made the right decision despite how painful it is.

Sending you warm thoughts.

midge333

@Lkrielow99: You have been a fabulous spouse and caregiver. It clearly is time for placement. I hope your DH adjusts easily. You need to be kind to yourself and get some rest.

Lkrielow99

Thank you all for being here. I hope that those who never experienced this disease, never do. I’ve learned so much and gained much wisdom that I pray I never have another journey like this one again. Thank you Allit & CindyBum and ever one that read. You all are a lifeline. Much love.

SDianeL

I’m so sorry. I’ve been where you are just 8 months ago. I had to place my husband in memory care due to my cancer diagnosis. He transferred to a VA memory care facility in February. He received great care there. You have cared for your husband and you will still be making sure he’s well cared for. The VA facilities have Social Workers if you need to talk. They were so caring. I understand your pain and grief. Grief is the price we pay for love. Hugs 🙏❤️