eating habits regressing

Maru

DH has ES Alz…but lately, he seems to be regressing in HOW he eats…licking the knife after putting on peanut butter on toast, licking his fingers at the table instead of using his napkin…basic good manners. Is this just him or is this a thing?

fmb

As the disease progresses, the social filters are forgotten, including table manners. My formerly fastidious DH has progressed to the point where he will even spit things out of his mouth onto the floor. He was doing that today with lumps in his puree. I caught him in the act and had him spit into the napkin while I held it, but he now lacks the skills to do that by himself. I laughingly told him that his grandmother raised him better than that and would come back from the grave to swat his backside if she could see him do it now. He smiled, but did it again not 30 seconds later.

For some PWD, the physical act of using utensils becomes too difficult, and finger foods are offered.

ppfrmo

Oh wow all of these things which by themselves don’t amount to much build up and you wonder how you can get though another day. I guess focus on the little victories if he can still bathe himself and will do it willingly is a big one.

jsps139_

I think it is just the progression of the disease. I gave my DH a hot dog with ketchup and mustard. I looked at him and he took the hot dog off the bun and was holding it in his hand eating it. Then he stabbed the bun with his fork and ate the bun off his fork. I think he is truly forgetting how to eat. Needless to say, eating out is very very rare for us.

sherryandwilliam

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70877/eating-habits-regressing

I noticed that with my husband also. I cut things in small pieces so he can use a spoon instead of having food slide off the plate when he tries to get it.

SDianeL

it’s the disease. He will soon forget how to feed himself or eat. Such a heartbreaking and terrible disease.

ImMaggieMae

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/225155#Comment_225155

It’s most likely the disease. Fortunately it seems to progress slowly so we have time to adapt. We’re at the point where I hand feed my DH, some days I need to purée the food so he can swallow more easily. Usually, like Sherry, I just cut things like chicken or meat in small pieces. I’ve adapted a lot of recipes to ground turkey or other ground meat. I also usually feed him with a spoon because it’s easier. My dishwasher is always filled with spoons before anything else. I’ve ordered lots more spoons in a couple sizes. He’ll sometimes take the spoon from my hand and eat a couple spoonfuls on his own, but he’s usually content to let me feed him. I’ve found it’s easy enough to adapt when things like this happen in small stages. It becomes a new routine. And there are always the days when I’m too burned out to cook dinner and am happy to have Marie Calender or Stouffers come to the rescue from our freezer.

Biggles

this disease is so cruel my DH is challenge each meal time I cut his food into small spoon size portions but the spoon is becoming difficult. He has special fat handled cutlery but this isn’t helping. I am at the stage of helping him eat. We do have a laugh because he likes a small glass of port often with his meal and then only has one or two sips. Dinner food often is found under the table and we always use a very large disposable paper napkin to try and catch most of the dropped dinner. The good part is that he is not stressed with this but it’s again socially isolating because it makes eating out too difficult even our daughter, son in law and their three boys find it difficult - very sad, not his fault or choice.

ImMaggieMae

He’s not stressed with eating because you’re not stressed. You find solutions to accommodate him. Eating out became too difficult a long time ago. You’re right, it is socially isolating. Everything about this disease is socially isolating. One thought, when friends visit and food needs to be involved, those big appetizer trays can be a good way to serve food where he can still be involved with your help. I bought a large black melamine tray a few years ago and often use it for appetizer trays, including things like cheese, meat slices, humus, fancy crackers, pickles, olives, grapes or small fruit slices, nuts, etc. Something for everyone. They’re fun to put together and look nice. You can do an internet search for appetizer trays and get lots of ideas. And it’s finger food that your DH can likely manage with a little help from you.

Judy.T.

It is the disease, My poor DH does the same. He will forget how to use utensils. When he started eating mash potatoes and salmon with his hands I knew public dinning was over. So sorry.

Maru

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/225133#Comment_225133

I almost told hubby that I know his mother raised him better than that…glad I bit my tongue….again. Good to know that this isn't just me being picky. Most of the time I feel like I'm being gaslighted.

Maru

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/225169#Comment_225169

Since we are in our mid and late 80's and moved to this area last year to be near family, I hope that our local family will not be too off-put by deteriorating eating habits. They are our only socialization other than going to church. I hope that your family will be understanding.

Maru

It will be a sad day when we cannot eat out. We love going out for TexMex and a Margaurita.

Maru

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/225136#Comment_225136

Yes, it is all these small, almost meaningless things that just make me feel like I'm crazy. We still are in early days but these small things seem to be pilling up faster. It was just one or two mis-remembered stories a week, now it is almost daily of that or a question repeated several times.

sherryandwilliam

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/225169#Comment_225169

The only one who is truly happy about all this is our dog. Loves loves the food hitting the floor

Carl46

It's forgetting, not just manners but how to do things in general. My wife started eating her coleslaw with a knife the other night. I suggested another utensil "so she didn't cut herself" and she was grateful for the suggestion.

I find I am caring less and less about small things. I don't care about her table manners. I just want her to eat. If I can get her to eat something healthy, that's a double victory.

"I eat my peas with honey, I've done it all my life. It does taste kind of funny, but it keeps them on my knife."

Biggles

I love the honey and peas idea, thank you you made me smile :)

jeannemarie8

My DH takes at least an hour to eat. So many forks have disappeared - probably in recliner where he eats or in garbage. Trying to get him to use utensils as long as possible since I know the day is coming where he won't be able. He also puts all kinds of things on his plate — cards and small items he sorts. Oddly, sometimes he tries to eat non-eatable things randomly during the day. I have found that Ice cream is the best medicine! He cries a lot, but does not cry while eating dessert! 68 years old, 5th year, things moving fast.

Maru

Today, I am in denial…again. DH seems so very normal. You are in your 5th year of this battle. A little while ago, I was thinking about what will happen if I die first and unless DH has a heart attack or some such thing, that is the most likely thing to happen. Even if I don't die first, in 5 years I will be 89. Will I be able to care for DH in his 5th year of decline? Will I be able to stop my hubby from eating non-edible things as you are having to do?

Today, I have been counting my blessings for all the things that were given to me, things I would not have even thought about 5 years ago….born in this time, in this place, into a family that gave me faith. Now this. Even in this I know there are blessings, for me, for you. May you have the strength, the patience, the love, to care for your husbnd .

jehjeh

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/225133#Comment_225133

This sounds so familiar. My DH also spits food when he gets something he doesn't want to eat. Either that, or he removes it with his fingers and throws it on the floor. I find napkins, used kleenex and candy wrappers on the floor where he has thrown them. Often, behind a sofa or chair. We never have visitors anymore so I can just let it go and clean when I find these little presents. Not that it isn't maddening but right now the least of my worries.