How to Get Legal Affairs in Order When You're Broke
Hi everyone! As the title says, I'm broke lol (it's not actually funny but I have to laugh or I'll fall apart.) My mom (60) is definitely progressing, and I don't have any of her legal affairs in order. Currently my mom is being taken care of by 2 people in their mid 20's, so not a lot of stability here as neither of us have degrees. My spouse is currently working, and my mom receives disability each month, however we live in NY so we don't even receive enough to pay all of our bills each month. Each month is making a new payment plan or picking between bills to try and make do. Along with our only car that has an expired inspection and needs repairs in order to pass, we have like no money, let alone money to pay a lawyer to get my mom's will and POA done. So how do people do this when you have no money? Also in case anyone asks, yes I have family but they won't help. I've never even asked them for help because the 3 times they've asked me how I'm doing and I explain how things are their first response is "I'm sorry I wish I could help but I can't. But I'm always sending love!" Like gee yea thanks. So what am I supposed to do about this? I feel like I'm drowning.
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I get it - 'thinking of you' doesn't really cut it… It is nice to know someone is thinking of you, but nice if they understand you really need credible HELP.
The will isn't too hard, especially if just kept simple. Can even hand-write it out and then have it notarized and witnessed.
DPOA - Sorry, I'm not as sure for that, as that really needs to be more air-tight so to speak. You could check on-line forms and have them notarized, but then if something isn't right, that could be worse.
Does she qualify for medicaid?
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See if there's a Legal Aide office in your area that may provide free services. Another route is that any legal expenses would be paid out of your mother's assets, not yours, and would be counted towards a Medicaid spend down. Don't know if that helps--
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She has medicaid! But I'm not sure how they'd be able to help with this.
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My mom unfortunately doesn't have any assets, she had a really good career but was so used to other people doing stuff and taking care of her that she never did anything like a retirement fund or 401K. The only asset she has is a death benefit of $2,000 and I don't even know if that's an asset. She's never owned a home, hasn't owned a car in years. What's a medicaid spend down?
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If she has Medicaid and meets the needs requirements Medicaid may pay for a nursing home, or possibly some in home care. But she has to be at a certain level of need. I think they do an o assessment of some sort. You might check with a local commission on aging for general help. I believe I read that someone here used an online DPOA form and didn’t have problems. I think you would need to get it notarized (a local bank may do that for free). I think they will want to make sure she knows what she is signing. She may qualify for a meals on wheels (maybe that is something just in my state, a free meal is prepared and dropped off for the elderly in their home).
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I'm not sure what it's called in NY, but start with the Area Agency on Aging or equivalent in your area. They should be able to help connect you to services.
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Some law schools have free legal clinics, we did that.
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Check with your local senior center about legal needs. Although the one I found was just a quick review they gave me the name of an agency they did DPOA and wills for free for seniors without assists. Unfortunately my mom wouldn’t make use of it. If they can’t help maybe try social services to seek guardianship. If she is on Medicaid already I think that alone helps you quicker responses as she has already met the income level. Are you adverse to an assisted living or memory care placement for your mother? If she’s full Medicaid they’ll use her disability and cover the rest leaving her some for monthly incidentals. This would take some of the burden off you. You matter as much as your mom. Prayers for assistance.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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