Support group
My 76 year old wife was diagnosed in September with moderate Alzheimer's just 10 months after an initial MCI diagnosis. Luckily I have lots of local family support. I've just registered for an in-person support group. What can I expect from the meeting?
Comments
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I have posted about my disappointing experiences with three different tries at in person support groups. I hope yours go better.
What I found was one group had a too talkative facilitator who monopolized. Another group try, no one showed up but me (they had cancelled and no one bothered to call the new person—me! Third try, this group was four people, none of them were 24/7 caregivers like me. They were adult children or siblings of those with dementia. It was not helpful to me at all.
Again, this is only my experience. I hope you have a well run and appropriate for your needs support group!
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I have attend several in person support group & online and always encourage new members to seek them out. Each group has a little different dynamics but I have gotten something out of each of them. The group facilitator is the key to how the group functions. I have attended my favorite support group religiously for the last 6 years and it’s been a huge help to me navigating this journey. I did not find the right group for me on my first try but when I tried a my second group I know immediately it was the right group for me.
When you attend your first meeting they will ask you to share your story and other members will introduce themselves. Generally the discussion of the meeting will be driven by whatever struggles the group members are currently experiencing. Similar to this site, more experienced group members will of advice/guidance to newer members who are experiencing some new challenge.
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@Len B
These meetings can vary a great deal depending on the skills of the moderator and the folks attending which can be very fluid.
Mom and I attended an Alz Assn. sponsored one hosted at a local CCRC. I sought a support group for mom because any suggestion I made about best practices in caregiving fell on deaf ears. She was angry and made every rookie mistake of reasoning and being transparently honest and was nearly physically assaulted on occasion. I hoped other spouses might be more effective at encouraging her to use fiblets, validation and a calm demeanor when interacting for both their sakes. It worked like a charm. I sought an IRL group for mom as she doesn't have the skill set for a place like this.
Ours was great. The leader was amazing. She was empathetic and encouraging but firm if needed. She made sure no one person dominated the time and that anyone who needed a little extra got it. Our group was a mix of kinds of dementia as well as being made up of those caring for a spouse, parent or sibling both in facilities and at home.
I found an IRL group and this place complementary. Given the larger population here and immediacy of an online community, this is a better place for a late-night vent, a question about a new behavior or a quick gut-check. On the other hand, the IRL group seemed more solution oriented and was great for getting the local 4-1-1 on dentists who understand PWD, restaurants who are very accommodating and which facilities in the area are worth considering.
I hope yours is a good one.
HB2
Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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