How do I get my sister to the doctor?

donrossini

Hi,

I am new to the forum.

I am sure this question has been asked by many people that are starting this journey.

My sister thinks she is fine and ignores our requests to have her make an appointment to see a doctor.

We know that she is not managing her finances properly and is making very poor decisions and possibly making decisions that could be dangerous for her safety.

At times she seems to be totally delusional and exhibits signs of paranoia.

This has been going on for over a year now and the situation seems to be getting much worse.

I did find a local support group that meets on the first Monday of the month and I planning on attending that this coming Monday.

Any insights that anyone can provide that has gone through this will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your time.

Ross

H1235

The approach that something is wrong and you need to see a doctor is usually not effective. Do you have hipaa rights? Obviously this would be helpful. If not suggest that she really should have someone (because you just never know/ it’s just a good idea/ I’m going to add you to mine too…). As far as getting her to the doctor. Would she go for a checkup? Could you contact the doctor (maybe write a letter explaining your concerns and giving details)? Would they work with you to get her in the office. Another thing you’re going to need is a DPOA. I would approach this much the same way. We are getting older/ it’s just a good idea/ I’m doing one and appointing——-. Trying to convince her there is a problem is probably only going to make things worse. There is no shame in making up whatever story you need to, to keep her safe. If she is just not going to cooperate you may need to file for guardianship. If your are concerned for her safety and well-being maybe an emergency guardianship. An elder law attorney is going to be best. Good luck

Iris L.

Learn about anosognosia, which is unawareness of having dementia. PWDs (persons with dementia) truly believe that they are fine and see no need for doctors, medications or changes in their routine. If you try to confront them with reality, they will resist and get upset. So don't do that. Learn the work-arounds that the members use in order to get things done.

Iris

harshedbuzz

@donrossini

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

Given that she's compromised her safety and financial security already, the best strategy is going to start with the legal piece first. Chances are it'll be easier to get in to see a lawyer (preferably a CELA) sooner than a neurologist or other dementia specialist physician. You may need to go through the courts to obtain guardianship. IME, this will trigger an assessment for competency which should be part of a comprehensive dementia workup. Once named guardian, you can make the medical evaluation happen.

My aunt had to do this with her widowed sister. By the time she stepped in, our LO with dementia was sitting in a cold, dark soon to be foreclosed upon house wondering why her cable was out. By the time my dad showed the behaviors you are describing he'd lost $360K day-trading. Dementia is an expensive disease, so stepping in to protect assets is critical.

It would be prudent, depending on your location, to make an appointment with the specialist asap as the wait times can be considerable. I'm on a wait-list since May to make an in-take appointment for my mom in 6-9 months. In the meantime, if she does have a PCP she sees regularly, you could, without HIPAA, alert the doc to what you're seeing via an email. Ideally, s/he could order the preliminary bloodwork and imagining to rule out another— potentially treatable condition.

HB