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Facebook?

DH is at a point where technology is meaningless. He uses neither phone nor tv remote. The computer and ipad have been ignored for a year. I have solved the problem of his phone and email messages, but what do I do with his Facebook account? He recently had a birthday and people were posting birthday wishes to him. I suspect these were all people who don't know about his EOAD (we have not been keeping it secret) or they are unaware of how far he has advanced.

Do I simply delete his page? Post something letting everyone know? reach out privately, but still through Facebook since I don't have contact info for many of them? It is mostly old sports buddies and some former co-workers.

I'm not on Facebook so I'm not sure what the options are. Anything I do I would have to sign in under his credentials.

Comments

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,542
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    I would save any photos on it. Then I would post a notice that you will be deleting the account ‘in a few days’. That gives friends the time to say ‘ok, contact you elsewhere’. If they have questions, you can respond via messenger, or not. Then actually come back in a few days and delete it rather than inactivate it. ( if delete is possible). I’m thinking that’s the best option so that the account doesn’t get hacked.

  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 107
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    I posted that the massage was from me not my wife but that due to her Alzheimer's condition she has not been on FB for quite a while and would not be using FB any more.

  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 107
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  • PlentyQuiet
    PlentyQuiet Member Posts: 93
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    QBC: Oh, I hadn't even thought about it being hacked and the safety aspect. I believe it is his only social network but now I will have to hunt for others.

    @BPS did anyone give feedback that they thought it was inappropriate to perhaps let someone know the diagnosis this way? People have different thoughts about person vs impersonal telling of important news.

  • Jazzma
    Jazzma Member Posts: 117
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    edited November 14

    I put my DH's status on my Facebook page, since we overlap on most friends and relatives. I want his friends to know, and to reach out if they want to contact him while they can. Responses were very supportive.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 138
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    I do think Quilting’s approach is very sensible, sensitive and secure. Good luck I run hot and cold with Facebook. Do be careful what you put on Facebook people can be very insensitive when they don’t understand the circumstances.

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 170
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    I have the same issue - I do want to delete DH’s account but don’t want to make a major announcement about his condition. A few close friends know, but there are others I’m debating whether to notify by message or not. I think I’ll take Quilting’s advice.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more