Just crappie day
You wake up in a good mood. DH is so negative. You carry on. Try to get him in better mood in nope. Dh complains his tv is not working right. I work it fine explain to him what to do. DH tries again can't do it. Worse mood. Think I'll take a ride!
Just me complaining.
Comments
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Your PWD no longer can handle technology. Don't explain to him how to do it, because he won't get it. Instead, blame promblems on the tv: "they don't make them like they used to."
You might also look into a very simplified remote control, made specifically for PWD.
Iris
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Where can I get one?
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Everything that was so easy to use is no longer simple for them. It must be overwhelmingly confusing for them and it can get overwhelmingly exhausting for us.
Have a nice ride and recharge your batteries❤️
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@ronda b agree that it's confusing and frustrating for everyone and that we sometime just need to vent or complain and TAKE A BREAK!
Re-set knowing that you are his everything and that means you need to make everything easier on both of you!
We've all been there! My DH can't work the remote at all. He still works the toaster and his milk frother for coffee. He loves his breakfast! He'll often leave either of these things with unused milk or toast, tho. Or leave a full cup of coffee untouched. He can forget to eat!
Just thinking now that he may not be able to make his toast or milk forever. It's a big ritual for him & the only food he prepares for himself & and all he'd eat if I were not around. He definitely can't work anything else around the house.
We played a simple card game the other day that he's played since childhood—75+ years and he forgot all the rules—they did come back to him but he kept saying how complicated the game was and it exhausted him. The game is called Scopa—btw—it's an Italian game—very simple.
Don't be surprised by DH's disabilities—he is disabled and he'll continue to lose functioning. Be prepared not angry or scared. Best of luck! Sending hugs!
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I have the same issues of phone, TV, ipad, etc not working correctly, He always says he needs a lesson on how to use his electronics. I give him lessons…..next day same thing. I try and go to another room or outside to take deep breathes and come back. My DH has everything scattered about today and gets overwhelmed and confused not knowing what to do wit5h everything he has out. I have to go get everything back in its spot so he can move it again. Just another day in Dementia World….
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Following may or may not be helpful in your circumstances; it is just one kind of TV control made for special needs; there are also others:
https://www.amazon.com/Big-Button-Remote-Control-Television/dp/B09KNP38R6/ref=asc_df_B09KNP38R6?mcid=16fd2be565e43464abf9721f18df4716&tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693297383718&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4517452455163427773&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9031067&hvtargid=pla-1463922289871&psc=1
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I don't even wake up in a good mood anymore…used to be such a cheerful person, but now I am pretty much toxic! I can relate to everything you said…I just took a walk to try to gain some sanity…
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I know exactly what you mean. Waking up angry or dreading the day is the worst. I had a spell of a few months at least where I’d get up at 8 or so, walk & feed the dog, put on the coffee pot, and then go back to sleep until 11 or noon. I just couldn’t face the day. Something changed. I think it was a combination of not dreading things as much cuz I was slowly plowing through my to do list and starting a wfh part time job that did not require me to be awake early but that centered my day. There are low points and there’s great value in small pleasures and routine. I had to stop hating my DH and give in to my new reality as well as allow myself a lot of time and slack. The only thing I must do everyday is make sure we’re both safe, fed, and relatively clean. Nothing else should be pressing except finding relaxing, pleasant things to do to pass the day. Enjoy some TV or something else easy. Connecting with the local Council on Aging, with neighbors, etc helped me. Don’t let yourself get too down or isolated. Ask for respite help from family, friends, neighbors, elder care. You must get a break to recharge.
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he’s negative because of his anxiety. His world is falling apart. He can no longer remember how to work electronics. You will have to do it for him from now on. His brain is broken and you can no longer teach him to do things. He will forget moments later. If he is agitated maybe it’s time for medication?
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Behavior is communication. His irritability and agitation are likely related to anxiety and potentially depression. Medication can help dial this back a bit which would be a blessing for you both.
As for technology, @Iris L. was spot-on. Skills seems to disappear in the reverse order to acquiring them. A simpler remote might work, but I have my doubts. Learning new tech becomes impossible even when it's simpler or more intuitive as short-term memory impacts learning.
My anecdote: Dad and the Xfinity remote were not a good combination. Initially he just struggled; one month mom called me alarmed that she had a $650 bill. Seems dad had signed up for 2 sport season tickets, bought Guardians of the Galaxy and Stingray Karaoke. When I shared the story at our support group, another caregiver offered to give us his wife's Flipper. We were hopeful but dad could never get the hang of it and swore it was for babies. The styling does kind of give Fisher-Price. When I returned it the next month he shared he'd lent it out to a few other members of the same group and that none of our LOs could figure it out. YMMV.
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@harshedbuzz Guardians of the Galaxy is one of my favorite movies so your dad was pretty spot on w that purchase! 😀
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I don't have good solutions. I went through some unbearable phases. But in looking backing, these have all come to past. So "this, too, shall pass." Hugs.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
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