How often does this happen.???

charley0419

my wife apologized for getting upset with me!!!

cavenson

It happens; so appreciate it when it does. Usually when my DH (probably mid-stage 4) complains or spews criticisms, I do my best to deflect it. However, yesterday when I greeted him with a cheery good morning, he was standing at the sink vigorously scrubbing a frying pan. He angrily responded that I had not cleaned the frying pan well after cooking pork chops last night. Even though there may have been a few residual stains, I had spent about 10 minutes on that pan, and I thought it looked pretty good. By reflex, I responded as though I were not dealing with someone with AD—angrily and sarcastically I told him I was so sorry and that I would never use that pan again. He knew I was angry and came to apologize about an hour later.

charley0419

it’s amazing how certain things they hear differently then what you say. It’s a shame you get to retire and now this.never know what’s coming next. But I always say “ it’s not her not same person at times”. Oh well guess we move on.

Windsock

Good morning! I can’t agree more, Charlie. Enjoy it when it happens. My DW gets upset with me because I don’t communicate! I try to gently say that we already talked about that and decided together to do whatever it was but in her confusion she just continues to be upset with me and my lack of communication. Usually a bowl of ice cream will help get her mind off of our tiff. :-)

DWTired

My DH does that too.. Sometimes they do have moments of clarity and are apologetic.

jsps139_

My DH has never apologized after yelling at me in 10 years, UNTIL two days ago. He went on a little rant about me moving his money out of his wallet (which I didn’t). He came out of the shower in a good mood, and said, “Sorry about how I acted before.” What?!?!?!?! I didn’t even think those words were possible anymore with his progression. It was soooooooo nice to hear. I did treasure the moment and all the warm feelings that went with it.

Thanks for sharing Charlie - it brought back that wonderful feeling I had 2 days ago. ❤️

Carl46

I don't think my wife ever apologized for being unreasonably angry with me in 50 years, but now she is very concerned if she thinks I am angry or impatient with her. She is totally dependent on me and I think my displeasure frightens her. It doesn't happen often. I have, out of necessity, learned to appear patient and calm and relaxed under pretty stressful circumstances.

Sometimes I speak up to be heard over a spinning washer or such, and even that upsets her, and I have to use the "calm voice" to comfort her. Being a caretaker is much like acting in a play. A really long-running play.

charley0419

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/228808#Comment_228808

nice to hear from you where you been??? Haha

Windsock

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/229022#Comment_229022

we went on a Motorhome road trip! Together in a small space 24/7. Still had a good time through Oregon and California but no time to get on this site. :-)