I Can Buy Myself Flowers

CindyBum

What a rough Christmas for me emotionally. DW not sure where she is a lot of the time, hard 5 hour drive getting her to her family on what may be the last Christmas I make that drive with her, and she got everyone a present but me. I took her shopping and realized later the gift I thought was for me…wasn’t.

I have been wallowing in grief for weeks since her sundowners have gotten worse and then this Christmas business. I decided on Christmas Eve that I needed another round of stiffening my spine, so I got her dressed and we went out shopping to get me a Christmas present I thought she should have given me. She was very generous in her gift giving. Ha!

That felt good. I feel empowered. I’m ready now to take the next step to save my sanity…another round of trying to get more in-home care is back on the docket.
Wish me luck!

Karen711

….“another round of stiffening my spine, so I got her dressed and we went out shopping to get me a Christmas present I thought she should have given me”

Cindy- Brilliant and resourceful! Kudos!! Glad you were able to summon up the energy to get your old fighting self back- and make what you needed to happen, happen. I wish you luck with the home care! Glad you’re trying again!!

Karen

Biggles

How good is that ‘another round of stiffening the spine’ I hope you don’t mind if I use that phrase. Mine is either stiff or goes to jelly and I desolve into buckets of tears. I think I like a stiff spine better. Funny about the Christmas shopping I had the same thing. We had a sort of conversation about Christmas I thought my DH wanted to buy me a gift, eventually I included an appropriate gift in the purchases but I shouldn’t have bothered it was a lot of frustration on my behalf for no good reason. Won’t do that again, I think it might have been a case of wishful thinking. Sad hey!

annie51

Yes very sad. Last year I ordered something for myself and had him wrap it (that challenged him last year). By this year, I didn’t bother getting myself anything. Luckily a couple of family members sent little something’s so there was at least some little joys. I did order a jigsaw puzzle of his favorite picture and we put that together on Christmas. This is the new reality…

WIGO23

So many ways this disease tests us. We are steadfast and true but often it seems no one really notices, even our LO. Then we realize our LO may not be capable of noticing or appreciating what we do. The unfairness of it all is epic.

jehjeh

DH was a great gift giver. He loved to decorate our home. Now, we pretty much ignore Christmas. I'm so sad and angry!

Jgirl57

Good for you CindyBum!!!!

Jarmac

I hear you. I am absolutely at the end of my rope.

Cate2024

On August 23 my DH asked where his wife had gone. He eventually said she went away with all her men and was replaced by me, her caregiver. Fortunately, he really liked the caregiver. It was expected he had Capgras Syndrome, and that his wife would not return. Several weeks later, as I was doing the supper dishes, he came into the kitchen and asked "when had I come back?" What ensued was 6 weeks of accusations, and nastiness. Meds were increased so he wasn't so mad at his wife for leaving him. About 3 weeks ago the caregiver is back, he's happy and has no recollection that his wife had returned. The neurologist believes his wife will return again, and the hatefullness against her will resume. They have prescribed an anti-psychotic med to administer if this happens. I'm torn with wanting the familiarity of my husband and learning to enjoy the peace of being the caregiver, who he thinks he loves.. No one could make this stuff up. Hugs to all that are dealing with the stress of this illness.

harshedbuzz

Go Bum!

jsps139_

A lady was selling jewelry in the lobby of our apartment building. I asked my DH if he wanted to buy me a necklace for Christmas. He said, “I don’t have my wallet.” I said, “It’s right there in your pocket. He took it out and said, “Yeah but there’s no money in it.” I took it from him and said, “Sure there is; you just hide it in different places.” I took out $15 and bought myself a pretty necklace. Then I told our neighbors … see the pretty necklace I made my husband buy me for Christmas? (He was always very generous, but now he hides his money from me. He doesn’t realize that I am the one that puts the money in his wallet.)