Almost died

N00dles · January 19

Good evening,

A little over a week ago, on Jan. 9th, my Dad (pwd) went to the ER from memory care after a fall (complaint of head and hip pain). He had had pneumonia in Dec. and still had a bad cough. Turns out he had bronchitis and pneumonia again, and he was put on antibiotics. The CT scan done on his head didn't show anything/inconclusive.

(*Note: 10 years ago, to the day, my dad had had a large heart attack, landing in the hospital Jan. 9, 2015. A few days later quadruple bypass. I think it is rather interesting.)

However, he was admitted to the hospital due to in addition to pneumonia he was shaking all afternoon/evening. They said it was seizure activity; they tried anti seizure medication. At one point, I was told, a doctor came in to put in a breathing tube to help him breathe. At first my mom thought this would be good; however, the friend who was with her, a retired nurse, explained what they were talking about was a ventilator. The doctor said they were concerned the seizures would be too much for his heart; also said once he went on the ventilator the doctor wasn't sure he'd be able to come off. At that point my mom called one of my brothers, who in turn called us and my other brothers. My mom knew he wouldn't want to be on a ventilator, but wasn't sure she was ready to let go. My brother agreed Dad wouldn't want to (be ventilated) and that although hard she knew what she needed to do.~She told the doctor no vent. It was in God's hands. I was mostly composed while talking to my brother, but wept afterwards. I had been grieving for years, after every change; losing more and more of my father. I exclaimed to my husband that I couldn't imagine not seeing him anymore here on earth until heaven (my belief system). I felt panicked for a moment; cried. I called our pastor, my best childhood friend, my aunt.

He made it through the night, and they continued the anti seizure medication. He wasn't opening his eyes at this point; not eating (afraid he would aspirate). They gave him breathing treatments. Mom says after a day-and-a-half he opened his eyes and said, "Good morning". He got better and started eating (ice cream of course!). At one point when I called and was able to speak to him, my brother (who had went there) said he 'lit up' when he heard my voice and was told it was his daughter on the phone.

I guess I left out a big part of this; I couldn't go because I was sick with co**d. So I was states away, feeling helpless waiting to hear news.~not totally helpless, since I could pray. I was comforted knowing two of my brothers were there the next day, and the one stayed several days, taking turns with Mom spending the night in the hospital. I also told myself when I wasn't hearing anything that 'no news is good news'; although I was in contact, even if just by text, daily.

He was released from the hospital and able to go back to memory care middle of the week. The doctors said his white blood count was normal and breathing much better. What a blessing to have more time. I intend to go visit once I am better; now on antibiotics for a sinus infection.

Thanks for reading; an emotional time.

psg712 · January 19

Wow. You must be exhausted, both from covid and from all the emotion of your dad's situation. I hope that you can take time to rest and recover.

After the family has had some time too, it would be good to come together and make plans for how you want to handle future health crises for your dad. Not that you can plan for every possible situation, but it may help to ease the stress of making decisions at the moment of crisis. I'm glad that your dad is doing better now.

SusanB-dil · January 19

Ooh, whew! What a roller coaster of emotions for you and family!

Agree with psg, get together and discuss options in case of future scenarios.

Not a bad idea for more of us to do that as well. Mom pretty much has directives in place, as well as DNR orders. I would like to think we do for mil, but it sure wouldn't hurt to go over some things with DH For her.