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DH Died Last Night

fmb
fmb Member Posts: 537
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My beloved husband died last night. Roger was a kind, gentle soul and was well loved by the facility staff, residents, and our hospice team. His hospice nurse and I thought he had a few more days, but his progression accelerated very quickly, and he was gone within an hour. I was there, holding his hand and talking to him, reminiscing about the highlights of our 22 years together and telling him he was going to soon be in heaven with his late wife and Jesus. I told him I would be okay and gave him permission to let go. He died peacefully soon afterwards.

Tomorrow I will go to clean out his room at the ALF and to say goodbye to people at the facility and our hospice team, many of whom have become like family to me.

While I have known this moment was coming, I am devastated.

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Comments

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 215
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    My deepest condolences as you pass into the next stage. May you find peace and strength in knowing he’s in a wonderful place now.

  • ronda b
    ronda b Member Posts: 150
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    So sorry for your loss,but happy you where there.

  • Aarron
    Aarron Member Posts: 17
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    I’m so sorry. May you always remember the good times and know he’s in a better place. Praying for you!!!

  • Goodlife2025
    Goodlife2025 Member Posts: 17
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    Member

    While only a part of this group a short time I have valued your postings so much and am so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and yours

  • Jazzma
    Jazzma Member Posts: 143
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    Sending you tight hugs. I'm so sorry for the loss and hope you find peace that he went quickly with you at his side.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,664
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    I’m sorry for your loss.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 747
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    My condolences! May you be comforted in knowing that his suffering, and possibly yours, is over.

  • Kat63
    Kat63 Member Posts: 100
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    Sending my sympathy to you for the loss of your DH. So glad you were able to be there holding his hand as he transitioned. We all hope for a similar ending. May your memories and the love you shared comfort you as you begin this next phase of life.

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 909
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    @fmb - I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband Roger. He sounds like he was a wonderful person. I hope his passing was peaceful.

    I'm sure tomorrow will be hard, saying goodbye to everyone at the ALF. It was like that for me when I cleaned out Peggy's room in memory care. But staff were wonderful to me, and I'm sure staff at Roger's ALF will be wonderful to you too.

    Please take care of yourself.

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,721
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    fmb, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how deeply it hurts but he is well now, Not confused or in pain. That thought is what we have to hold onto and believe.

  • Anna2022
    Anna2022 Member Posts: 197
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    I'm so sorry. I hope that the days ahead treat you gently. God speed, Roger!

  • tigersmom
    tigersmom Member Posts: 229
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    @fmb , I am so very sorry. There is no way to prepare for this part, no matter how much we know that it is coming. I wish your dear Roger peace and freedom from pain, and hope that the same will come for you in time.

  • housefinch
    housefinch Member Posts: 456
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    I’m so sorry for your loss and am sending you comfort and strength.

  • Phoenix1966
    Phoenix1966 Member Posts: 236
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    Wishing you strength and peace.

  • JeriLynn66
    JeriLynn66 Member Posts: 962
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    @fmb I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear husband Roger. May you find peace and comfort in knowing he is now healed and restored with Jesus. Be gentle with yourself in these difficult times. I’m praying for you and your family ❤️

  • Bailey's Mom
    Bailey's Mom Member Posts: 149
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    So, so sorry…couldn't have been a better way than for him than for you to be holding his hand and reminiscing about old times. No matter how to try to prepare there is never enough time…(hugs).

  • Buggytoo
    Buggytoo Member Posts: 111
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    Sending a prayer for comfort and sweet memories.

  • blacksparky
    blacksparky Member Posts: 41
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    🙏🙏🙏

  • CampCarol
    CampCarol Member Posts: 148
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    My sincere condolences on the loss of your DH. I’m happy that it was peaceful, with you there holding his hand. Sending warm thoughts and prayers to you during this very difficult time.

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 114
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    Member

    My deepest condolences ((HUGS))

  • frankay
    frankay Member Posts: 51
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    So sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace. I know he knew you were there by his side. and throughout this ordeal.

  • charley0419
    charley0419 Member Posts: 406
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    May he RIP.

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 958
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    My heart goes out to you at the loss of your dear husband. I’m glad you were able to be with him and holding his hand. I don’t know if we can ever be fully prepared for that moment. Praying for your peace and comfort going forward.

  • MaryMN
    MaryMN Member Posts: 8
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    Member

    So sorry for your loss. May you find peace knowing that his long journey is over and he is now in the arms of Jesus.

  • WIGO23
    WIGO23 Member Posts: 153
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    Sending you a cyber hug and hope that you are comforted by the good memories as you grieve this loss.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 288
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    I am so sorry for your loss, to be with your DH holding his hand, giving him permission to leave this world and you will be ok is a beautiful parting gift. Sending strength and hugs.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 556
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    So very sorry for your loss; I hope you find comfort from being by his side. Peace …

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,225
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    so sorry for your loss. Glad you were with him. Cherish the beautiful memories you made together. He was lucky to have you. Praying for your comfort and strength in the coming days. Hugs.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 403
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    I am sorry for your loss. You took good care of Roger. He was lucky to have you. Please be kind to yourself.

  • Carl46
    Carl46 Member Posts: 462
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    Member

    I'm very sorry for your loss.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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