Toured a few memory care facilities

justbreathe2

My DH is in moderate stage and I plan to take care of him as long as possible, but been told to have a Plan B. I never realize the memory facilities are so competitive with each other. And, they are a little pushy at when to admit him. They told me they would not be able take him if I wait too long. My DH is doing good and takes care of himself how. So it is a turn off when I feel they are trying pushing me.

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justbreathe2

Thank you. Will look into it. I may prefer the larger place that may be better for him.

BPS

The place where my wife is has 3 buildings with about 18 to 20 residents in each building. I like it because I think my wife would get lost in bigger places, but it is big enough to have some variety. I would have been able to get on a list and keep moving down until I felt the time was right. Then she had a stroke and the time suddenly became right. I would not like it if they were trying to rush a move.

SDianeL

it’s a shame they do that. Stay firm and tell them you are just touring several facilities to choose from when the time comes. Don’t let them rush you. They are correct about waiting too long however. Many facilities will only take patients that are still ambulatory and don’t yet require skilled nursing care. Once you choose you can ask to get on a waiting list and keep moving to the bottom if you’re not ready.

justbreathe2

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236454#Comment_236454

Thank you for your support. It makes me uncomfortable to be pushed. I have decided with one and made a deposit. There were high reviews. They are going to check in with me. I told them he is not ready, and I am not ready.

harshedbuzz

@justbreathe2

I toured a dozen places when shopping my Plan B for dad. FTR, I live in an area with scads of places; I drove by 10 places on my way to the one dad went to and they've opened 2 more since he passed.

I found a real difference among them in terms of how pushy the sales rep was. The corporate places that didn't accept Medicaid were awful. The ones recommend by A Place for Mom were the absolute worst.

That said, most MCF do require a new resident to be both ambulatory and self-feeding at the time of admission. This helps them balance with workload of their staff to ensure residents get the attention they need. While many will allow a PWD to age-in-place once these skills are gone, most will require family to provide additional private care hours or engage hospice at some point for the same reason.

This rule makes it hard to plan as a stroke or broken hip can take MC off the table in an instant.

HB

justbreathe2

Thank you harshedbuzz. Not knowing how long my DH will be in moderate stage, and doing good; it is a concern that he could decline fast with a bad fall. I think the memory care sales rep just surprised me how pushy with admitting him sooner. They have not met my DH.

TXGram

I’ve just started looking at MC places as well. I don’t think I’ll be using one soon but just wanted to see what’s out there. They are competitive but I haven’t found them to be too pushy. An interesting thing: today: I went to see a sleep MD for myself and she mentioned that she was a mobile dentist at one time and visited Care homes. She felt that the more luxurious the home, the less attention the residents received. She really loved a small place near my home and also the homes that are private homes with 3 or 4 patients. We have quite a few in San Antonio I heard the same from neighbors that have used them

justbreathe2

TXGram, Thanks!

I read reviews and asked families i knew that had a parent that were residents. One of the salespersons said people tend to think that the newer MC are better. My choice was based on cleanliness, openness and windows to see out, activities, food, and location. This salesperson was a little more pushy than the other. All of them are near busy streets and wished there were nicer settings. Not sure if there are any smaller places, but that would be good to look into.

I am hoping it will be a long while before the thought of placing my DH. No matter the place, it still will not be a home.

TXGram

I’m still having a hard time imagining ever putting my DH into a home. I really don’t think I could do it. I guess the only reason would be safety issues. I will definitely rely on my sons to help with this decision. For now Home Care three afternoons a week is enough. And lots of prayer.

midge333

@TXGram : I was the same way. I was going to keep my DW at home until the bitter end. Then I developed increasing health problems. I placed her in memory care 2 months ago. It was horrible at first but we are both adjusting now.

justbreathe2

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236706#Comment_236706

I feel the same way TXGram.

Lynne707

What happens if you have no financial means to pay for MC or any Assisted living. I’m 2 years in with DH. Managing so far, without any family support. I am terrified.

CampCarol

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236846#Comment_236846

See a certified elder care attorney asap. It will cost you, but they have the knowledge to help you navigate Medicaid laws in your state, as well as any other options you might have.

RetiredTeacher

My husband has VD and I plan to take care of him at home as long as possible but after reading several posts I think it would be prudent to see what facilities are out there before we get to that point. I called a Place for Mom for referrals, not know how else to find these facilities. How else do I locate MC facilities or private care homes? I've read from others that some facilities refuse to take non-ambulatory patients. My husband is still ambulatory but has weak legs and may become non-ambulatory in the future. What options will i have? If he falls and breaks a bone then goes to a SNF to rehab, where does he go long term? I understand that's all hypothetical but I need to be prepared for whatever comes next and I prefer to be proactive instead of reacting when things deteriorate. I'd appreciate any advice those of you who have been through this can provide.

Dio

IMHO, I'd steer clear of any establishment that's pushy. In this business, they should be very aware of how difficult this decision is for caregivers who must make this heart-wrenching decision as is. It's downright corrupt to push anyone in a vulnerable state. I toured over a dozen facilities and none pushed. Either suggested that I put DH on the waitlist with the option of saying "pass" while remaining on the list, or contact them when I'm ready or with additional questions. Hope you find the right one for your DH.