Toured a few memory care facilities

justbreathe2 · February 15

My DH is in moderate stage and I plan to take care of him as long as possible, but been told to have a Plan B. I never realize the memory facilities are so competitive with each other. And, they are a little pushy at when to admit him. They told me they would not be able take him if I wait too long. My DH is doing good and takes care of himself how. So it is a turn off when I feel they are trying pushing me.

v3 · February 15

Ah, commission sales, love it. Since you don't like larger places see if your area has licensed board and care homes . They usually have 5-6 residents in a regular house . But if your LO is very social now they may like the larger place with activities. Cost is about half where I am . You can get very lucky or not with them . But not having layers of staff is nice too. In my state inspection reports are on line so you can review them. Discharge staff at a hospital maybe able to refer you to ones they have worked with .

justbreathe2 · February 16

Thank you. Will look into it. I may prefer the larger place that may be better for him.

BPS · February 16

The place where my wife is has 3 buildings with about 18 to 20 residents in each building. I like it because I think my wife would get lost in bigger places, but it is big enough to have some variety. I would have been able to get on a list and keep moving down until I felt the time was right. Then she had a stroke and the time suddenly became right. I would not like it if they were trying to rush a move.

SDianeL · February 16

it’s a shame they do that. Stay firm and tell them you are just touring several facilities to choose from when the time comes. Don’t let them rush you. They are correct about waiting too long however. Many facilities will only take patients that are still ambulatory and don’t yet require skilled nursing care. Once you choose you can ask to get on a waiting list and keep moving to the bottom if you’re not ready.

justbreathe2 · February 17

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236454#Comment_236454

Thank you for your support. It makes me uncomfortable to be pushed. I have decided with one and made a deposit. There were high reviews. They are going to check in with me. I told them he is not ready, and I am not ready.

harshedbuzz · February 17

@justbreathe2

I toured a dozen places when shopping my Plan B for dad. FTR, I live in an area with scads of places; I drove by 10 places on my way to the one dad went to and they've opened 2 more since he passed.

I found a real difference among them in terms of how pushy the sales rep was. The corporate places that didn't accept Medicaid were awful. The ones recommend by A Place for Mom were the absolute worst.

That said, most MCF do require a new resident to be both ambulatory and self-feeding at the time of admission. This helps them balance with workload of their staff to ensure residents get the attention they need. While many will allow a PWD to age-in-place once these skills are gone, most will require family to provide additional private care hours or engage hospice at some point for the same reason.

This rule makes it hard to plan as a stroke or broken hip can take MC off the table in an instant.

HB

justbreathe2 · February 18

Thank you harshedbuzz. Not knowing how long my DH will be in moderate stage, and doing good; it is a concern that he could decline fast with a bad fall. I think the memory care sales rep just surprised me how pushy with admitting him sooner. They have not met my DH.

TXGram · February 18

I’ve just started looking at MC places as well. I don’t think I’ll be using one soon but just wanted to see what’s out there. They are competitive but I haven’t found them to be too pushy. An interesting thing: today: I went to see a sleep MD for myself and she mentioned that she was a mobile dentist at one time and visited Care homes. She felt that the more luxurious the home, the less attention the residents received. She really loved a small place near my home and also the homes that are private homes with 3 or 4 patients. We have quite a few in San Antonio I heard the same from neighbors that have used them

justbreathe2 · February 19

TXGram, Thanks!

I read reviews and asked families i knew that had a parent that were residents. One of the salespersons said people tend to think that the newer MC are better. My choice was based on cleanliness, openness and windows to see out, activities, food, and location. This salesperson was a little more pushy than the other. All of them are near busy streets and wished there were nicer settings. Not sure if there are any smaller places, but that would be good to look into.

I am hoping it will be a long while before the thought of placing my DH. No matter the place, it still will not be a home.

TXGram · February 19

I’m still having a hard time imagining ever putting my DH into a home. I really don’t think I could do it. I guess the only reason would be safety issues. I will definitely rely on my sons to help with this decision. For now Home Care three afternoons a week is enough. And lots of prayer.

midge333 · February 19

@TXGram : I was the same way. I was going to keep my DW at home until the bitter end. Then I developed increasing health problems. I placed her in memory care 2 months ago. It was horrible at first but we are both adjusting now.

justbreathe2 · February 20

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236706#Comment_236706

I feel the same way TXGram.

Lynne707 · February 21

What happens if you have no financial means to pay for MC or any Assisted living. I’m 2 years in with DH. Managing so far, without any family support. I am terrified.

CampCarol · February 21

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236846#Comment_236846

See a certified elder care attorney asap. It will cost you, but they have the knowledge to help you navigate Medicaid laws in your state, as well as any other options you might have.

Toured a few memory care facilities

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