Sometimes I just want to hide

Pett

Hi all, been browsing thru these discussions. It nice to know I'm not alone. I'm 66 yrs old and my DW with Alts. is 68. I have allot of mental anguish for my loved one. 44 yrs of married life 2yrs of serious dementia issues. I have troubles with her sometimes telling me she doesn't know who I am-and wants me to get out of her/our house. Or calling me her daddy which I must follow along so she doesn't get upset. Yes, I've had to wipe her hinny and but locks on the all doors and change life as we knew it. We have doctors come to the house and we never go out any more. Sometimes it feels like we are just waiting to die. Sometimes I just want to run and hide. Our friends and family don't visit any more mostly cause they don't know how to deal with her. Thank god my daughter has put her life on hold to help me - she lives with us now and has been the reason my wife can stay with me. In Florida we have home care aids come to the house and shower my wife every day, make the bed, and clean the floors. Thank god for them as well. We have both VA and state support. Anyway ty for listening, it has helped just to type this out.

Russinator

((HUGS))

rplourde50

I feel your grief. We are relatively young (I the same age) and all this loss is hard to accept.

Pett

Yes it is a feeling of loss and grief. This must be what depression is.

Dio

Many of us have gone through and still is going through this tsunami ride. At least, you have your daughter who is available and willing to help. Some wise person told me that once acceptance takes hold, you will feel better. Hugs.

jehjeh

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I, too, went through feelings of just waiting for this life to be over. However, once an outside caregiver was in place I discovered just getting away for an hour or two can make a huge difference. I meet a friend for coffee or wander through a store I haven't been to before... just anything that gives me a breather and something to think about besides my DH for a bit.

I hope you and your daughter can get out frequently. It really does help. Hugs

ghphotog

Sounds very much like my DW when I had her at home. Glad you have help from your daughter. I've done it all and I think I've seen it all as well. Hang in there!

tayenay22

I am caring for my 85 y.o Mom alone and it is tough and I haven't been able to get any assistance and I sure could use some especially with bathing her as she has refused for 2 months

SDianeL

we totally understand. I had VA caregiver respite care and I would go run errands, or just go sit in a coffee shop or library for peace and quiet. It helped me recharge. Being a caregiver is mentally and physically exhausting. Take time for yourself. 💜